Girlfriend invited male friend around to sleep in her bed



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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 3:56 pm 
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King Among Mortals
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Quote:
Bare in mind here, she is really busy and does not need this on her mind.
Who the fuck cares.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 4:05 pm 
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This is a good girl. I am showing complete insensitivity by doing this.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 4:17 pm 
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This is a good girl. I am showing complete insensitivity by doing this.
So are 1000 others

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 4:19 pm 
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Listen to Heywood. You're in good hands.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:06 pm 
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She hasn't responded but has gone on-line on SPAM. My auto response is to say, "I asked for advice on this, which I never do. No games. I am serious here." This is the first real fight we have had in two years. She obviously feels that she is punishing me by ignoring me. Will she cheat to punish me? There is a strong possibility that she was being naive and stupid, with the guy in her bed, and was not going to cheat. She was fucking with me. "I couldn't make him sleep on the floor." Why is he coming round? "He is bored" but that doesn't necessarily mean she was going to cheat, it just means she was fucking with me.

Hellhound, I know you guys are great at seducing women and getting pussy, but you guys don't sound like a massive fan of monogamy. I am an LTR guy.

She's ogling for a response. I can't give her one.

I feel really fucking guilty about this. I really don't think she cheated. I ignore her all the time for being needy, she texts me when she is drunk and I am not out with her, "I really miss you" etc etc to which I don't respond. When she texts me at work I rarely respond. I ignore her all the time. Deliberately I mean, nothing wrong with this, just that I don't let her control the relationship.

Provided she doesn't now react by cheating, we are now in a stale mate situation. From here all I really have to do is not be the first to break it.

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Last edited by CON659 on Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:28 pm 
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I love it how you're defending her, lol. "She's busy" and "a good girl" are not good excuses for fucking another guy.

Being intelligent probably hinders you more (especially as a newbie) than being stupid. Stupid guys with low IQs are too stupid to over-analyze every situation, eg. When approaching, they just go caveman to get the girl. "I like girl, I grab girl, I take girl back to cave". Intelligent people over-think of every possible outcome, which messes with their thought process, meaning they don't take decisive action.

Don't justify yourself to the girl or us. All the stuff about the world's wealth and your IQ is completely irrelevant to your situation. You clearly cannot have a fuck-buddy relationship with her, because you cannot handle it emotionally, but right now, she has you by the balls. Women are usually better at mind games than you. Which is why being willing to walk away and dump a girl is the only way to "win" the mind war with her. She fucked another dude. Remember that.

If you insist on staying with this girl (wrong decision but we can't force you to do the right thing), you need to fuck another girl to settle the score. Lecturing her / Shouting at her will not work. When girls want to break up with you, they normally do something really bad (eg. start fights with you over nothing or they cheat) just to get a rise out of you. Then the ensuing argument happens, you message her some really harsh shit and she then keeps your messages as proof of your "unreasonable behaviour" so she looks like the angelic wronged party in the eyes of her friends and family when she breaks up with you. She conveniently leaves out the part about sucking another guy's dick in her version of the story.

Most of us on this forum have been in monogamous LTR. You are simply ignoring the best advice because it's not what you want to hear. Just like you believe your girlfriend's BS about sleeping next to a guy and not fucking him, because it's not what you want to hear. You're getting played HARD but your heart and pride cannot handle the truth. It's tragic but take it as a lesson in life.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:40 pm 
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we are now in a stale mate situation. From here all I really have to do is not be the first to break it.
That's all.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:45 pm 
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I love it how you're defending her, lol. "She's busy" and "a good girl" are not good excuses for fucking another guy.

Being intelligent probably hinders you more (especially as a newbie) than being stupid. Stupid guys with low IQs are too stupid to over-analyze every situation, eg. When approaching, they just go caveman to get the girl. "I like girl, I grab girl, I take girl back to cave". Intelligent people over-think of every possible outcome, which messes with their thought process, meaning they don't take decisive action.

Don't justify yourself to the girl or us. All the stuff about the world's wealth and your IQ is completely irrelevant to your situation. You clearly cannot have a fuck-buddy relationship with her, because you cannot handle it emotionally, but right now, she has you by the balls. Women are usually better at mind games than you. Which is why being willing to walk away and dump a girl is the only way to "win" the mind war with her. She fucked another dude. Remember that.

If you insist on staying with this girl (wrong decision but we can't force you to do the right thing), you need to fuck another girl to settle the score. Lecturing her / Shouting at her will not work. When girls want to break up with you, they normally do something really bad (eg. start fights with you over nothing or they cheat) just to get a rise out of you. Then the ensuing argument happens, you message her some really harsh shit and she then keeps your messages as proof of your "unreasonable behaviour" so she looks like the angelic wronged party in the eyes of her friends and family when she breaks up with you. She conveniently leaves out the part about sucking another guy's dick in her version of the story.

Most of us on this forum have been in monogamous LTR. You are simply ignoring the best advice because it's not what you want to hear. Just like you believe your girlfriend's BS about sleeping next to a guy and not fucking him, because it's not what you want to hear. You're getting played HARD but your heart and pride cannot handle the truth. It's tragic but take it as a lesson in life.
And what if she didn't fuck him? (I am not convinced of this because of her personality, I have been cheated on before, I am not so naive) Is there any disadvantage with maintaining the silence?

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:57 pm 
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Hellhound, I know you guys are great at seducing women and getting pussy, but you guys don't sound like a massive fan of monogamy. I am an LTR guy.
Uhm, your signature says you're 22. Heywood is +50. He's been in a monogamous relationship for decades. I'm +40. I've been in a monogamous relationship for 7 years or so. Hunter_Foxe is going 30. He's been in a monogamous relationship too.

You're too emotional right now. Your judgment is clouded. Don't give us that IQ score shit. Some of us here score high too and have engineering backgrounds.

Listen to Heywood. As Hunter_Foxe said, you're even defending the girl now. This is mainly a men's forum. Men solve and fix problems. If you just want to vent or look for sympathy, go to a woman's forum.

Oh, yes. She did fuck him. We know. We've been there and done that. The pattern doesn't stray. It's what it is.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 6:08 pm 
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Some girls are better at hiding cheating than others. Different styles include:

1) Vehemently denying it.
2) Admitting to "half-truths" so she doesn't feel as guilty like "well he did sleep in my bed" but leaving out important details, like his dick in her face.
3) Accusing you of cheating to take attention away from herself.
4) Disbelief: "But I love you baby, why would I cheat?"
5) Using your accusation as a reason to cause an argument: "Look if you can't trust me, it's never gonna work".

The point is you don't know 100% whether she cheated on you. You'd be very surprised at how your girlfriend's behaviour changes when youre not around. Multiple experienced forum posters, all of whom are more experienced than you, some of whom are decades older than you, have read your story and they have concluded that all evidence points to her cheating. You can choose not to listen to experience and you are free to go andmake your own mistakes. That's how we all learned. The hard way. You're only 22, I very much doubt you're experienced enough to have been exposed to enough lying to recognise a female player when you meet one.

You are so brainwashed and blinded by her pussy that you're being irrational and illogical.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 6:51 pm 
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CON, buddy... You're sending far too big of a message here over something simple. You're drawing it out and coming across as beta. In all of your messages you excuse her and play it down. "... this is my only problem..." You're essentially begging for her to put your mind at ease which is in no way Alpha.

Also, Ego and Confidence are two separate things. A big ego is never a good thing. A lot of confidence is, however. Ego is a turn off, confidence is a turn on.

Have these simple rules when you message her:

1. Keep it short.
2. Keep it to the point.
3. Don't call her endearing names(Baby, honey, love, etc.) or be apologetic.
4. Don't explain how you feel or why you feel it. It's redundant. You're not happy with it and as far as you're concerned it just doesn't happen. There's no need to draw this out.

Just talk to her, don't message her. That's weak especially messaging her time and time again about the same subject. Say we need to talk, meet up in person and lay down the law. If she argues with you just walk away, DEMONSTRATE your frame by walking away when she tries to hijack the conversation. She'll message you either to berate you or apologise. Either way you stick to your guns and lay down the law.

Leave it at that. If she feels the relationship is worth it to her she'll obey. If she doesn't she'll walk away if that's the case good riddance! Would you rather be in a relationship where she didn't respect you and you cling to her like a life raft on open water? Or would you rather move on and find someone better who will respect you and not walk away from something like this?

Lay down the law and put the ball in her court. Just stand true to your word and be prepared to break up with her.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 6:53 pm 
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This thread has officially become a waste of time.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 6:55 pm 
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You are so brainwashed and blinded by her pussy that you're being irrational and illogical.
This.

The smell of penis on her breath is so thick we can all smell it!

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 10:42 pm 
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I'd like to say say thanks to everyone for your advice, first off, I appreciate it, even those that berate me.
Quote:
In all of your messages you excuse her and play it down. "... this is my only problem..." You're essentially begging for her to put your mind at ease which is in no way Alpha.
I agree that in my messages here I have been trying to excuse her and play it down. However in my message to her and there has only been a few, two asking to talk and one saying,
"No, I am not making this problem. The only thing that is on my mind is that you were going to let a guy sleep in your bed, for no other reason than he was bored."
This I believe was fairly assertive. I appreciate that advice as I have been too emotive with her. No conversations or debates.

She was suggesting I was stressed out. If she now does anything else but come back begging at my feet for forgiveness for being an worthless little skank, I will tell her I am moving on. I will delete her from my life and cut of contact. Then it's time to bring out the negs and DHV's again. (:

OK just got a text from her.

"you know that I love you more than everything and you know that i'll never ever cheat on you i love you that s all i miss my man a lott"

This somewhat falls under, Disbelief: "But I love you baby, why would I cheat?" but she hasn't said she doesn't believe. I don't see any better response she could have made.

I appreciate you are a lot older and more experienced, but I have a little experience, I've been cheated on 6 times in relationships in the past, by immature girls (these relationships were not as serious and I did just walk away, maybe sinned a little also). I also know my girlfriend, and am a fairly focused and mature guy.

How should I respond?

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Last edited by CON659 on Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 11:46 pm 
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I'm thinking of saying "I believe you. Don't let anything like that happen again. You are getting a punishment. I am going to tie you down and beat you." I don't want to dwell on it. Is this too light hearted? I will follow through on that btw :) That's if I should believe her, or hold out for more.

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Use your knowledge and actions to be the best version of yourself you can be


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