This is just an incredibly annoying roadblock I keep running into. I'll be talking to a girl on an online dating app, and the conversation is going well. She seems interested and talkative. Then when I ask for the number she goes into a shell likes it's groundbreaking development for me to have those digits.

It usually stalls or ruins the connection we've built too. Is this just a girl saying "I'll let you massage my ego and talk to you, but I'm never going to meet you"?

I usually try to counteract it by teasing her about it. Like "oh boy, didn't know your number was so sacred. Are you an up and coming celebrity? :p" but maybe that comes off a bit harsh.

Is it possible I'm going for the number too early? I just hate giving these girls the satisfaction of my attention if it isn't going to lead to a meet up

what app do you use?

This is what you have to look at. Read your messages and see if it seems like you are doing all of the ego stroking and she's just enjoying it.

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I use OKCupid, Tinder, and Hot or Not. My PoF account keeps getting deleted for some unknown reason so I gave up on it.

My current theory is that if a girl is open to meeting you, she will give you her number right away... within a few exchanges. I usually open with the basic stuff. A little bit of teasing here and there.. asking her what she thinks about this crazy app. I know a lot of PUAs like to say crazy ridiculous things just to get a response... but my goal is to get laid, not to get a response from a girl who is not interested.

Then I ask for the number, and text her an hour or so after she gives it to me. Usually from there I can set a meet up time.

The thing is that some women tell me they aren't comfortable giving out their number just yet. And 100% of the time, when they say this I do not ever get their number. It's a devastating blow because it reinforces that they have all the control. It's up to me to court them and make them comfortable and "earn" that number. The beta thing to do is to keep feeding them attention and hope they eventually give in and hand out the digits.

However, I could be wrong here. Maybe a girl is open to banging but I need to grease her up a little bit first, and asking for the number too soon actually ruins my chances. In that case it would be better for me to message back and forth for a while, maybe even a few days before asking for that number. The problem with this of course is that in that time she can meet someone else, I could slip up and say something to lower her interest level, or she could get fed up with the app and delete it (A lot of girls delete their accounts within a day or two of making them).

I know this is very devious but to test this out I have a fake Okcupid account with pictures of an extremely attractive, tall/tan/ripped guy I went to college with that I use to talk to the girls who turn my real account down. It's amazing to see the different way they talk to me, and how easily they're willing to give out their numbers and send naked pics if I try hard enough.

I find this fake account thing sort of interesting when it comes to what you're talking about right now. I'm want to pick your brain on this since you've done some "research" (lmao...it's pretty creepy, but I'm down for learning something). When you talk to the women that reject you on your real account, do you speak to them the exact same way or do you get braver and/or bolder with your statements on your fake account?

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I know it's creepy as heck but it is a fascinating social experiment. One thing I love using the fake for is to get feedback after I have a date with a girl. After my date I will log into the fake account and message a girl and after a few messages I'll ask "so have you met any guys from this site." Sometimes they say no, or lie and say they did a long time ago. Other times I'll get negative feedback about myself which can be helpful. Not gonna lie though, it kinda hurts sometimes too.

I try not to speak in the -exact- same way on my fake account because I don't want women to draw a connection to my real one, but it's more or less the same. Just generic stuff, none of the PUA silly stories and gimmicks. Sometimes I do get really aggressive right away just to see how the girls respond. Many of them get offended, but a surprising amount are completely down to text and get sexual immediately.

I get a lot of profile views and women sending me the first message on my fake account too. a really cute thin girl with huge tits messaged me a few weeks ago and said, "if you really look like that, you should come over and cuddle with me" I got her to give me her address and everything. (No... I didn't go over there. I'm not that creepy XD).

As if it wasn't obvious, the moral of this story is that profile pictures are 99% of the battle in online dating. It's similar to the job interview phenomenon where an attractive candidate is perceived to be more successful and confident than an ugly overweight person who is extremely qualified and articulate. All the time people spend stressing over how to properly construct a message or how to respond to a certain statement or anything like that would be better spent taking better pictures.

That was going to be my next statement. Have you thought about emulating your friends poses and body language into your profile? Of course you should look as attractive as possible.

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I have some serious inner demons about my appearance. I'm 5 foot 9 and 140 pounds. So kind of short and quite thin. I have a nice face and dress all right so it's been able to get me lots of lays, but EVERY time a girl turns me down I subconsciously assume it's because I wasn't muscular enough. If I was 160 pounds, she would have banged me. If I was 180 pounds of muscle, I would enter a whole new tier of women and probably wouldn't even waste time with the slugs I'm stressing over now.

I'm in the process of getting serious about adding size and hoping it helps out my overall confidence not just with women but with my own career and happiness.

Aw man...hope you get over that. When I was 18, I was 6' 155lbs, so I know how you feel. I changed my diet and started lifting heavy weights. Within a few years I was 225lbs and I found other things to down myself about. I can seriously say that getting comfortable in your own skin should be your primary goal...no matter how you look physically.

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"Well, you're not my type then".

Next....

I have had this a few times now and I am by no means an expert but I have been able to Number close with this response.

If the HB says 'I don't feel comfortable yet' or 'I'm not sure' or something along those lines I usually reply with "Why not?.."
Its short and abrupt and they usually feel like they need to defend their decision.
80% of the time they will come back with 'I don't know you well enough' or some other BS.
I bounce right back with this;

"Ok. Well ask me any 3 questions, anything at all and I promise to answer 100% truthly."

This is a good point to gauge their interest and see what questions they ask.
If she asks engaging and thoughtful questions then she is interested, if she comes up with some generic crap then bin her then and there.

Once you have answered her questions, ask 3 of your own (Be creative, don't ask intimate questions).
if you manage all of that and get to this stage then ask for her number again and say something like "Now that we are like best friends... How about those digits? "


Has worked for me multiple times.