Hello everyone. this is gonna be quite an interesting story and would require a real expert to crack. I dont even know if I am already in a relationship i mean we're fighting like couples and everything but not admitting it...

First let me tell you something about myself, i'm a natural with women and always had success and plenty of girls in my life up to the point where some of my male friends got really insecure when i'm there and their GFs are there.

I am posting here asking for an advice because for the first time since years back i actually find myself in a pinch with this girl.

We met in the uni, i'm doing my masters and so does she, we are part of the same group of friends. at first she was kinda distant but in contact with every other guy in the group except me... yet whenever I was there her feet and body language were always toward me so I thought I should just investigate.

after carefully gathering info it turns out she was really "scared" of me. I come off as a "tough guy" but not an ass, pretty likeable and funny but not to **** with, a leader sort of a guy. so she didn't know how to handle me, and she is a "christian girl" in a sense.

anyways, i got infected by the flu once and had a rough few days so i took it as a chance and told her "heeey you infected me! not cool!" aaaand we hit it off... all the signs were there... flirting was on, like in one conversation over SPAM for an example :

her: I believe i'll be like my mum, over protective and worrying too much.

me: lol you, me we would never workout you're too serious as a german and i like to enjoy my life and be relaxed.

her: you're alot like my dad! he is the same as you, likes to just chill and enjoy life. while mum is more serious and they balance each other quite well.

this is just one example of many. even when we go clubbing as a huge group, no one can dance with her like I do, she lets no one in except me, and we even kiss alot during dancing but only cheeks nothing more, still that is good as no one could even try to kiss her.

and its kinda romantic since we always rest our heads on each other and just hug each other through most of the dances. it was obvious that we like each other even the whole group is gossiping about it that we are together. even people who are not usually with us used to think that we are together or that there is something going on.

another example would be that there is this other girl (lets call her girlB) whom they hate each other that talks to me, so i went to my girl and told her "i think girlB is talking to me trying to get to you!" she said "yeah she did it before"

after a few days i get a message from my girl that says "may i ask you something? since you know girlB is talking to you to get to me... why do you go along with it? i realise you do not owe me anything but thats not something a friend does" so when next we met at the class i told her "lets talk" we went and talked and she kept going in circles... i even confronted her about this guy thomas whom she is close friends with that why dont she say anything when girlB comes up to him whenever he is dancing with my girl and throws herself all over him and he dances along with her... why not tell him to stop like me???? i'm just texting nothing more. she said "he is a friend and i trust him" and she cried alot during this conversation saying stuff like " i dont need this shit from her bla bla bla..."


anyways once, we were talking about how boys fell for her most of the time so I told her "you know why even i sometimes hate talking to girls? its just that most of them start falling for me just because i flirt with them and they take it the wrong way... i flirt with every girl i meet, its just my nature, innocent fun no more. I dont need shit in my life SPAM" I used this line alot with success before, it makes me able to flirt with them without sounding clingy or needy and they become attracted really hard when they dont understand if i'm serious or not with my flirting... since even in joking or role-playing emotions are still the same.

so the game was going on for more than 2 months so i though the flame is dying, i'll be LJBFed and i dont want that, came valentine's day but didnt ask her directly, i just said " this is gonna be my first single valentine in a long time and i like to keep my tradition, what you got on valentines? lets do something" i felt it was too much interest to be honest, she agreed to go out but then as valentine is getting closer i sensed she will flake, since she already said some "friends" are coming to stay till the evening, which i think was complete bullshit but just a safety net to flake.

and then suddenly, 2 days to valentine's, she sent me "counter proposal: why dont you come to my place, we will be cooking, that way even if my friends stay longer we can still have a nice dinner" i replied "well i got good news! i got asked out for valentine so i wont be free. " she said" who?" i replied "a friend of ****, we met talked and just hit it off. i'll see if i like her enough although i hate surprises. i like it when I choose a woman to go out with" she said "well if you dont like her after dinner just ditch her and come to my flat" i replied "hell no i won't ditch her, i'm not like the others"

the day before valentine we had an amazing chat, felt real connections, i'm sure she did too, we got really personal about our dreams and i told her how we are alot like each other but just different on the outside... so next day morning, valentine's, she sends me "happy valentine" and a picture that says "i like you well enough" so i reply back with a funny pic that says kinda the same, she sends another pic with a bee in it that says "Bee my valentine, enjoy a picture of a bee " she tries to hide it as friendly messages.

anyways i was fed up with all the mixed shit going on and her playing too many games so i texted her after a night of clubbing, which was valentine's day btw, "lets keep our interactions to a minimum... i would really appreciate that! i'm done"

and BOOM! next morning someone is ringing my flat doorbell like a crazy person just ringing and ringing non stop... i opened up, it was her! going insane, very angry, calling me an idiot, asking me to explain myself, and just making a huge fuzz, then she started crying when one of my flat mates came and saw us... she hugged her and calmed her down, i told her "if you wanna talk lets head outside not here" she went with me to the bus stop, still talking shit to me so i told her "hun if you dont wanna come then just go back, for me i'm going to sit at some nice place and enjoy the rest of the day with or without you." i tried to reassure her by touching her shoulder and she said "DONT TOUCH ME". so we talked more and i repeated what i said a second time and she went back home.

i felt like a real asshole so at night i went to her flat to apologize, and got her a white flower as a symbol of "no ill intentions" we talked... this is how it went:

me: what are we exactly?
her:"friends!" with her eyes looking down left...
me: are you sure?
her : "yes!" same eye movement.

.... too much talk and she said "i understand you need some space" i replied" what space???? we are not in a relationship... what space?" and i gave her the flower and she says "what is this psycho shit?" i got really pissed but didnt show it, i asked her "do you even know what it means?" she says " i dunno... wedding?" i said "what? no no it means no ill intentions... i meant no harm." she says "good cuz you'll get a big no" so i said "hun i wont even ask!". anyways at the end i said:

me: seems like it was a mistake coming here and apologizing... my decision stands, i'm cutting you off.

and this is it... we are in the same uni and the same circle of friends so i will see her alot but trying to not even show myself so that later on i could re-engage and build attraction from zero after a month or 2 have passed... and btw my birthday is on the 14th of march so i dunno if i should invite her or not.

what do you guys think?

i realize this was a long post but i am really confused and cant think clearly... i helped alot of people... now i need one.

I read your long post 3 times and then I am entering my reply.

First, let me tell you that this girl is very tough and some girls are of this nature. They don't come easily to the expectations. You did lot of good to her but she has not expected as you did because she is different.

But, if you want to go any further in relationship with her then invite her. She would give you for long lasting relation that may make you happier in real sense. Good Luck !!

She is guarded about who she falls for. She fell some for you. You rejected her. Girls like this tend to move on and not look back, because they have high self esteem and don't need you as a bf to be happy.

You should have just gone direct when she pushed the valentine's thing. Flirting garners interest. If you're after a relationship, at some point you have to show her you are interested and hold her in high regard. You don't have to put her on a pedestal, but you do have to show them that you consider them a cut above.

When you said keep your actions to a minimum, you basically dumped her. Her reaction indicates you hurt her, which means had you gone direct and said I like you, the more I know you, the more I like you and I would like to know you better than anyone else knows you, she would likely have followed.

As it is, I don't know that you can recover from this one. Best bet would be talking direct. Flirting and games are over. If you don't want a relationship with her, then forget it. But you should prepare yourself for the reality that you made a mistake this time and add it to your experience column for future reference.

I'm speaking out of experience here, the same exact situation, so listen carefully.

You made a huge mistake of rejecting her when she needed you the most. You were of high value to her, and you reached a point where your value skyrocketed above the sky, you could've gotten her at this point. Instead, you decided that you would revenge against her by going above her, so you gave her the chance to walk away when you were near the bus-stop (the day she knocked on your door). That was your window of opportunity to apologize, take her inside and then do your thing (By this, I do not mean sex, but take her out or just make her tea/coffee, anything to keep the conversation going). Sex is not to be implemented on such types of girls from the beginning.

As we all know, the law of gravity states that when an object is thrown in the air, it will reach a point at which it's velocity will reach zero and it will end up falling. That's exactly what happened to your value.

If you want to date her and are aiming for a relationship, your first chance is to invite her to your birthday. DO NOT under any circumstance make it look like a date. Just go up to her and say that your birthday is on March 14 and that you'd like her to be there because you felt that it's sad how things ended and you want to make it up to her. If she rejects, you will have to freeze her off until things get better. If she accepts, seize the opportunity.

No need for anymore games and pickup routines or whatever you call them, man up and go all in as honest.

You way over complicated this and played too many head games. It's simple: "Let's go out sometime"--->date--->sex

Not 2 months of playing around. You tried to be too cool.

Huge mistake mate,really huge...

Reverse your roles,how would you act if someone sent you a message that she is going on valentine's out with someone else and 'ditching' your plans...You flaked while you were worried she would.Then you send her a message saying let's not talk anymore,at the same night you flaked.Then when she comes crying to you,you act like a non caring jerk,yet you post this in a relationship's forum which means you really want to get the girl.Now,if you really want the girl,stop acting and thinking like a PUA,and go confront her before everything she feels vanishes...Eye movements mean she was lieing,but I feel you just put up in there cause you already knew it and you just wanted to hear from us that she thinks you are not friends.You may be a natural,but the text you send to her is something I have done to girls too,and I did that back when I was a self validation craving guy who considered himself a loser if I didnt do something with a certain girl in 2 weeks of talking to her in any way...So just either move on,or confront her and be the guy she wants you to be and you can be for once,despite all of the 'I m playing cool' shit.

Rant over.