My girlfriend just recently asked me if I am happy...to which I said yeah, things are going well.

I am not really sure how that question came about, I personally thought things were going okay. I'm not sure if it's because of the stress recently that she started having doubts or if I should be worried at all.

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One idea of being in a relation ship is to help each other grow.
- The girl will help you grow by challenging you.
- You help her grow by praising her.

Praise always magnifies the quality of your woman that you praise. "You're so beautiful when you smile," is much more effective than "You are ugly as fuck when you frown."

If you want your woman to grow in her radiance, health, happiness, love, beauty, power, and depth, praise these qualities. Praise them daily, a number of times.

It's hard to do ... but you must learn to even praise qualities that is not praise worthy yet. If you want see a quality of your girl that you want to grow praise it. For example, if you know she would be healthier if she exercise more ... don't tell her that exactly, it will come out as a insult ... But, instead praise her by saying "I love it when you sweat in your gym clothes" ... or "I love it when you move your body" ...

So by praising her that you love when she exercise will make her exercise more. But, by telling her the reasons why she should exercise, you are telling her that she is not acceptable to you the way se is now. Praise works. Information doesn't. Praise motivates .... challenging doesn't.

Try it ... praise certain qualities that you love about your girl 5 to 100 times a day ... watch her change and grow ^_^!

Sincerely,

Donston

Praise should be used sparingly.

You may think you are doing the person a service by praising them, but in reality you may be doing a great harm unto them. Praise, especially a lot of it, can come off as phoney but even more so when its used as a tactic people catch onto it pretty quickly. Also, using praise as a tactic can actually do harm to a person's self-esteem, reinforcing to them that their self-esteem is based on extrinsic (external) approval/validation.

Using praise to build someone's confidence is an illusion. The reality is confidence comes from within this means self-acceptance, learning what it means to love one's self unconditionally, and being in touch with one's needs and learning how to ask for needs to be met by others (including yourself).

Confidence also comes from not always trying to fix what's wrong in a relationship, but letting the person be vulnerable and take responsibility for their own feelings and needs. Sometimes its good to take comfort in someone's pain - by this I mean allowing your partner to experience pain without you taking ownership of it; in this respect it is a beautiful thing, something you're allowing them to take ownership over.

I could be mis interpreting your response ... but ... are you saying that you shouldn't do anything? To leave her with her pain and let her deal with it her self? To hope that she will deal with it her self? Is this what you mean?

If so ... I disagree ... if not ... can you clarify with an example or something?

It's up to the man to guide a woman out of their chaotic emotions ... I'm not telling him to go analyze what her problem is and try to fix it logically ... I'm tell him to show appreciation for her to show that he still fond of her. That's what love is ... showing the appreciation for your partner. Simply by saying "I love when you cook for me" ... "I love how you are so caring ..." ... what's wrong with that?

Leaving someone in their negative emotions can lead to destructive things. It is up to the man to change those negative emotions to positive. Not logically but with love! The way you relate to your woman's chaos reflects the way you react to the chaos of the world.

"No matter what your woman says or does, give her love. Press your belly into her. Smile. Scream and then lick her face. Do whatever it takes to crack the shell of her closure, get your love inside that crack, and touch her heart. Learn to enjoy her anger, her tears, her silent hardness. The world will give you the same at times." - david deida

Hahaha ... but that is my opinion and what I do by qualifying and expressing my appreciation for qualities of a my girl.