Hello - I'm relatively new to posting so if you guys think this belongs somewhere else let me know.

I lost my virginity the other night thanks to this forum to an HB9. We're both 19-20yr in college, and I was able to F close in a frat as well as go home with her for more (she lives across the hall) as well as one more time in the morning. This girl is very hot - tons of guys are on her line all the time. The sex was probably pretty typical for a first time (I would guess), but nevertheless she wanted it more than me the whole time. I am the first guy she's slept with since her last boyfriend (3+ months ago), and we've gone out to parties as friends (in a group) in the past.

The next morning I had to leave around 1pm - I didn't contact her until the evening, just to see what her plans were. She lives across the hall from me but I felt no need to specifically go out with her that night. I met her out at a frat, and there was already a guy with his hands all over her. I was letting it slide because she was giving me 'inside' or knowing looks and I mistakenly thought her I had her on a leash (I figured she had way too much fun last night to keep it moving that quickly). Every time she saw me looking over she would move away from the guy or use a friend to put some space between them. But he was good and persistent (probably knew some PUA as well). Anyways, I thought it was kind of funny so just talked to other girls and did my own thing in the same room.

Long story short he basically had her to the point of no return last night, the next night after my first lay. However, she was very drunk. She slept over, not sure how far he got. Either way, she was at that point and that's something I should be able to prevent (with other guys besides me).

How should I act? I was thinking about being FB or possibly something more with her but that kind of hurt my ego hahaha .. I need to sack up and act right but I am stumped guys. Maybe my emotions are getting in the way too much. Any help would be appreciated.

You two are not in a relationship, so there is not much you can do. You can try to make her your girlfriend. It would take time though, and you have to prevent yourself from being needy.

thanks - I guess what I'm asking now is how I should act or what I should do? A relationship might be nice later on but what I want to accomplish now is to hook up with her more and prevent her from becoming anything close to exclusive with someone else.

Since she lives across the hall from me I can sort of control how much I run into her and etc

thanks

I hung out with her just now for 1-2hrs (she lives across the hall)

Her legs were crossed at times, her hand was in that area, and she was showing what seemed to be negative body language. However, she was looking at my lips at one point, but I didn't make the move to kiss. Afterwards, she was laughing and stuff but still keeping a distance from me (we were hanging out on her bed). What should I do? A relationship in the long-term would be fine (we actually share a decent amt in common in a school where a lot of people just 'fit in', and this ISNT one-itis speaking) with me, but I would have liked to Hook up with her more and just taken things slow.

Things seemed to go well the night of, but now it seems almost like I'm a typical friendzoned kid she has to blow off - I can't get the FZ if I f-closed can I ?!? this girl is a wildcard haha

PS: she seemed to brush off any references to the fact that we had sex or to the night we got together. I'm a pretty easy going / funny guy so it was easy to work around, but it seems the dynamic of our relationship has changed. Unsure if its temporary or permanent.

Right now I'm going to start focusing on gaming other girls, but I would like to see this one progress

You're thinking too much. You've already prized her.

Alright - any suggestions what I should do now? I plan on going in her room again tonight and kino escalating and hopefully hooking up or at least seeeing what goes from there.

kinda feeling like a pussy SPAM, won't fuck up like that again.

You should have tried to escalate when you were on her bed. That was a fail. Girls will forgive trying even if they reject you, as long as you don't get weird about it in my experience.

Should I try again? I can like walk in her room and just ask to kick it. There's nowhere to sit except her bed really. I can go in with a totally different frame of mind this time that we've already done it once, another time should be no biggie.

Last time I walked in with the frame of mind as - we're going to hang out and I will try to escalate when the time is right. But I got scared once I noticed the body language, which I know know as a mistake. I think if I am forward/confident enough it could go well but im definitely not 100% sure

Its okay if she acts like nothing happened, some girls do that. I have a fwb who I see once or twice a week, and she does something similar. She is so affectionate when we are in bed and afterwards, you would think she is going to ask me to marry her(metaphorically speaking ofc), and then acting a tad distant at first when I see her the next time. You cant expect them to want to jump in you every time they see you.

I actually enjoy the situation with my fwb, because it always starts with her acting as if nothing had happened between us last time, and ends with her trying to kiss me and getting turned on, while I am acting all playful and teasing her, and doing stuff like leaning in close to kiss her than taking my head back right when she goes for the kiss... I actually enjoy the situation a lot, because its like a challenge for me to ALMOST pick her up again next time I see her . The trick is that I make plans to go to really cool places and do a lot of awesome outdoor activities and shit like that, and she loves every bit of it. I basically dont let any of her initial distance taking get under my skin, and try to lead her through awesome experiences that I myself want to see, essentially enabling her to experience my reality.

The point I am making is, dont overthink, dont let it affect you emotionally, enjoy the process of hanging out with her dont be too outcome attached, that will hinder you presence and make you a bit stuck in your head and emotionally vulnerable. And dont limit yourself to her, as long as she is not exclusive, dont limit yourself to being exclusive with her. Keep her as one of the options, the top option if you want, but still an option. Dont start treating her as a girlfriend yet. I hope this helps.

Should I try to hang out with her again? Last night I was able to just walk in her room and sit down - theres really nowhere else besides her bed to sit. Should I be escalating even though she's acting this way?

One of my friends is telling me to let her know that I don't care about the other guy - is that advisable?

One of my friends is telling me to let her know that I don't care about the other guy - is that advisable?

No its not advisable at all, thats like telling her you are butt-hurt about it!! Only mention it if you can make a really really good joke about it, and if you're sure you can be emotionally detached when yo say it.

sounds good - I will not tell her at all

OP

You said you were new to this (girls in general bc you were a virgin) so dont take this girl super seriously. I know the first girl can have a tendency to spin guys out, but honestly you have to continue to get better with WOMEN IN GENERAL and then you will be able to KEEP and be in a healthy relationship. At this time you do not have the skills with women to be in a solid relationship with a hb9.

Plz dont take this the wrong way. I was a virgin until I was 21 and it took me YEARS of personal development, study, and field experience to know how to properly get a beautiful girlfriend, which I now have (im 24). Learn about the PROCESS, and learn about yourself. Thats what you can control. Not her.

GL
Duke

At this time I want to just have more sex with her and gain that type of experience.

Honestly I think if I can bang her consistently I do have the ability to get her in a relationship, but that's a whole other thing. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. Her last boyfriend's game wasn't that much better than mine.

I understand I shouldn't be focused on getting into a relationship and am currently working to adapt that mindset