23 is rather old to still be at school, no??

You have no right to be angry. She broke up with you. She is single. You don't own her. She is not your property.

When a girl says "We need a break", "I need space" or "I need time away from you to think", she means it's over, you are history. Women are not logical like men. There are 2x main reasons why they break up in this way:

1) They want to find a new guy but like to keep you around as Plan B in case it doesn't work out with the new guy.

2) They are scared of your reaction. Women are passive and non-confrontational. Most men are physically stronger than women, so if a girl breaks up with her boyfriend, she subconsciously feels vulnerable and worries he may take it badly and harm her physically.

She just texted me:

Why did you decide to change your facebook status?

My first reaction is to keep NC. Or should i say something?

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

That makes a hell lot of sense, and i think it's mostly about option A.

I've always been sweet in the relationship, she trust me and i would never harm her. But she seems like a person, that needs comfort and confirmation from guys. I gave her that, but slightly as her "confirmation" was filled, she needed to get it from other guys.

Her best friend also told me, that she was in a relationship with a guy. About three months and then she started flirting with a co-worker, and a bartender. She ended the relationship so she could be schrew the bartender a couple of times. Suddenly the bartender wasn't interested in her anymore and she had no one to get comfort from. Then she met me and yeah, you know the story.

I did not know anything about her before, but i never saw her as that type. She was so comitted in the beginning, and when i told about Malta, she instant looked at plane-tickets to come visit me. That behaviour almost scared me, but also gave me an indication, that she really wanted to be with me, no matter what! - So i never saw her as some "maneater"

That's why it schocked me, when i heard she made out with another guy, the same day she told me, that she needed more time. I rather wanted her to tell me, that it was completely over instead of leaving me with hope. Well FUCK HER!


And to the question about 23 and school. No, it's not late - It's not school/school but my journalist-education

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Always beware of women who come on strongly very early on in the relationship. "I love you" should NEVER be said by you OR her in the first month of sleeping with each other. Classic sign of an attention whore psycho.

Is your self-esteem / self-respect really so low that you are happy to be her Plan B?

Move on dude.

I guess you are right. I haven't experienced relationships that much.

I've been in three, lasting 5 years, 8 months and this 1 month. And the 5 year thing was a girl, that came really strong on to me, and she was a "sure thing" 5 years is a long relationship and since i saw some of the same signs here, i related to my previous relationship.

I surely don't want to be her plan b. Ofc. my feelings are still there, they don't just disappear, but i tell my self everytime i think of her, that i'm so much better and that i don't deserve to be with someone like her. But as i also explained, i'm terrible with my feelings, i so easily let them control me, and i need to change that.

I started a topic under Miscellaneous, where i asked on techniques or anything else to practice controlling my feelings and improve my Self-esteem!

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Rationalizations vs. attachment fears

Can you elaborate?

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Just as an exercise, you should date as many women as possible for the next 2 years and make sure that none of them become your girlfriend. You will learn a lot about yourself. Take the power back!

When you say date, what do you exactly mean?

Just meet girls, then fuck em' and dump em'? - Or date them to the stage where you're almost in a relationship?

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Date them, fuck them, but only dump them when you start getting feelings of love or one-itis. It's not a permanent solution for life but it's something I forced myself to do for a few years to cure my neediness. It's a way of un-learning unhealthy attachment to women. Once you are secure in yourself and once you don't rely on women for your own sense of self-worth and happiness, then you can start settling into relationships.

I recommend the books "Radical Honesty" by Brad Blanton and "Musashi - Five Rings". Neither of these books are about pickup, but they were both game-changers for me in terms of curing my neediness, I strongly recommend them.

This is solid.

I didn't do it for two years, but I did it for a while, though not long enough. I have a ways to go with the neediness and insecurity, but it has given me more perspective on relationships and a clearer lense.

A couple of months ago I was sleeping with multiple women, but there was one I just wanted to be with all the time and I am in a messed up oneitis situation. Well, I am sleeping with her, and we both have strong feelings for each other, but she is going traveling for four months, she wants to see me at the end of it and so do I, but it gives me more chance to become a better man whilst she is gone.

I'm a romantic guy, I keep getting sucked back into monogamy and find myself wanting to believe in what I have with this girl

@Hunter_foxe. Solid advice! I'll have a look at the books.

To update my recent situation.

She texted me:

X: How come you suddenly deleted our status on facebook?

Me: "I waited four hours and texted her back: Because you are not worth my time, and the fact that you really need to ask the question just tells me, that i made the right decision"

X: Thanks. That was kind of you.

I didn't reply and 20 min later.

X: I just don't understand how you can care so little.

I haven't replied her, and i don't think i would. She didn't really ask me a question, and it must annoy the shit out of her, that suddenly there is this man, who doesn't do anything for her, like she has been used to.

She is a part of a friendgroup (they are four girls) which i'm very close to aswell. That's where i met her. All her friends are on my site, they really talk bad about all the things she has done to me, and they were the one to tell me, that she made out with this boy, when she was supposed to "think".

She told her friend the next day, that she found it really weird, that i just deleted the status, because in her words "We are not totally over yet" - Well funny you kiss another dude then.. She's pure trouble and i'm so happy to be out os this now. But is it wrong of me enjoying her being miserable? I know it sounds so wrong, but after she texted me twice yesterday and i didn't reply, i felt so good!

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Good job. It's human that you enjoy her being bothered. Not saying it's healthy but it's normal. As for her responses typical woman "I wanted to keep this guy as a second option, but now he won't put up with my shit, and now I lost my pussy power, who the fuck he think he is...".

In short. You can do better than this

Thanks!

I see exactly what you mean! She is a really pretty girl, but also uncertain about herself. And i think that's the reason why she constantly needs to be confirmed. She is also very confrontational. Everytime we had a discussion, she tried to escape.

I have somehow an urge to tell her, where and how bad she messed up. Should i tell her in a "nice" way how fucked up i actually think she is, so she has a single change to realise it and change her way of being? - Not so i go back together with her, but more like " Pull your act together, or you will never being taken seriously".

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

So another day has gone. And my mood keeps going up and down. I don't feel really down like the first day after the break up, but it quite annoys me, that she keeps bothering my head.

I'm not in contact with her, and two days ago i felt amazing. I felt amazing after i texted her that message, and i didn't reply her, and she texted me rapidly two messages. I could feel how frustrated she was, and that made me happy. She hasn't texted me since, and it's nagging me, that i still care.

Obvious i still have feelings for her, because hate is a feeling. I want to go to the stage, where i just don't care anymore. Her bestfriend told med, that she talked a lot about another guy yesterday at a party. I felt bad. I just wanted to fell like i don't care at all, and she can do exactly what she wants to do.

I try to think and focuse on my self, and I only. But it seems like everything i do, in the end wants me to prove my self to her. When i go to the gym, i do it because of me. But when i work out, i think of the improvements and just can't wait to see her next time, so she can see what she's going to miss.

I'm also getting a tattoo on sunday (been planned for a while), and i'm looking forward to it like shit! - But one of my first thoughts is, how is she going to react to it?.

I told my self several times, that i don't want to be with her ever again. I'm talking to other girls, but i don't feel like pulling them, i don't feel any attraction, and i just can't get my ex out of my head, even though i have no interest in going out with her again..

Is those feelings and frustrations really normal? I keep telling my self " You don't want her back! " But every morning i wake up, i still look at my phone and somehow hope she texted me...

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!