| For awhile, I was frustrated with online dating apps like OKCupid and the newer, more ephemeral Tinder. Why wasn't I getting matches? Why weren't women messaging me back?
I've been researching and experimenting with "online game" since I discovered the pickup community several months ago, and I've come to a few conclusions:
1) Success with online dating is largely based on your physical appearance as presented in your photographs. By this I mean to say that it is not only a matter of how good-looking you are, but also the quality of the pictures you are using. It's not about 'being hot,' but more about looking hot. (Women have obviously figured this out too, so be careful out there guys -- it's easy to wind up getting 'catfished.' If she's got the angles, if it's hard to find a clear shot of her face and/or full body, she's probably hiding something.)
2) It's incredibly difficult to present yourself as genuinely alpha in an online dating app. This is because, first off, the odds are already stacked against you; if you're legitimately alpha, why are you online trying to get laid in the first place? I think a lot of guys are overlooking this, and inadvertently demonstrating incongruence as a result.
3) Online dating destroys the very essence of the game, because (a) there is no opportunity to use non-verbal communications to establish value, (b) there is no sense of serendipity (a key component of seduction) felt by the woman, and (c) there is little/no potential for generating chemistry. (I'm sure there are a bunch of other aspects of a successful pickup that are also absent from the digital interface, but I'm not going to sit here and think of every single one -- you get the point.)
Most of what we do as seducers has to be done face to face. Online dating is not seductive -- it's practical, efficient, and utilitarian by its very nature.
When you strip away all aspects of nonverbal communication, there isn't much left to bait an attractive woman. When she's swiping through pictures on Tinder, she isn't going to choose you unless she thinks you look cute.
Most of the tactics I have tried to use to generate interest haven't worked, and my best theory is that they generally come off as manipulative and disingenuous due to the perceived incongruence that more or less comes with the territory of online dating.
I'm interested to hear some of your thoughts on this, and any tips, tactics, or strategies you guys have found for apps like Tinder that have actually worked. I know some of you are having success with this stuff, but keep in mind that you might just be better looking than most of us. Please comment if you have anything to add to, or dispute about, my analysis here.
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"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? ... I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it."
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