Okay - Earlier this morning i posted a topic what to do, to get my girlfriend back. We kinda broke it of yesterday, mostly her, but she said she still loved me, but broke it of because she was affraid of getting hurt or that it wouldn't last, because she felt i pushed her towards things.

I thought i could go with option one or two. 1. NC. I didn't feel it would work, since she is so good to hide her feelings away. or option 2. Be offensive and go all in. With the chance of her wanting to go back, or her taking distance.

I wrote following message:

Okay. We've had a night to sleep on it, and you had the chance to catch up on some sleep. This is really the wrong decision. We've spend a month building something this good, and we can't just tear it down in one single day. It all went so fast, it did because we are so good together. That it went fast was also the reason why we got wrong on each other sometimes, but that can't just destroy our relationship. I think we deserve our self to fight for this and make it happen. Then we take it in a slower pace. I love you, and i know that you love me. We don't need anything else, and if you doubt the slightest that you made the wrong decision, then let the doubt benefit you and let's take that chance. Fact is. There is no risk. We'll just end up finding out, that we were about to throw something really good away. We fit perfectly together and we make eachother happy, that's what counts. <3

I send the text 8.05 and she had to go to work at 9 am. She responded four hours later saying:

I'm willing to try <3

Now my questions is. What do i do from now on? - The problems in the first place was, that i pushed her to much, and tried to get her to open up to me, and that she could feel, i had a little problem with her being with the nr. of guys shes been with, without it being a lot.

So ofc. i have to improve on those points. Not just for this relationship, but just to improve my self, because i feel bad inside, when i react that way.

Most guys would probably overkill now, when they suddenly get the second chance. Buy her presents, flowers, expensive meals and such, but in my opinion that would just be wrong right? - I need to make her feel comfortable again being with me, and not being with me giving her flowers, and material stuff.

Could i use the Push - Pull technique already, or does some other rules apply, for this second chance? - She is a really stubborn girl, and she would never try to work things out, just for me, so it's clearly that her feelings are still in it.

Push - Pull or what should i go with right now? - We're probably meeting up in a couple of hours, and i thought about taking her for either a drive, make her laugh, or maybe just a walk on the beach (lives just nearby)

_________________
A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

I was supposed to pick her up at 6pm. She texted me a few minutes ago:

Don't come and pick me up. I would like to wait. I need more time to think.

I texted: Ok.

And that's where we are now. That text made me mad, so i'm going all NC right now.

_________________
A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Update:

After i got the message from her, i got angry and i've felt much better since. Whenever i feel down, i let my emotions and feelings control me, so since we kinda broke up, i couldn't eat, couldn't do anything that normally made me happy.

After she send the text, things changed. I read some fantastic quotes on this forum, and some inspirational posts. I used the anger to pick my self up! - I said to my self "Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her. I'm to good to be controlled my her, and i don't just wanna sit around here waiting like some little puppet!"

I put on my running gear, put on some running music and i felt great! I set my personal best. 4k in 15.55. Normally i'm around 4k in 19 min. Everytime i thought about her on the trip, i startede saying. "NO... Fuck her. I'm way to good to be waiting, and i need to think about myself and me only!"

It really helped. I had a good nights sleep and i woke up feeling okay. I still feel down and sometimes i catch my self thinking of her, and not really being able to lay the thoughts.

I feel that i am at a state right now, where i can turn her down. If she calls or text me and says " Okay, i thought things through, and i would like to give it a try"

I would tell her. I'm glad to hear, but i'm no longer sure that i will. - I Don't expect her to do that, and therefor i'm thinking of either (calling or texting her) when she wakes up, to tell her, that i'm going to remove us as a couple on facebook, and i just thought she should know. This way i get the upper hand. This way i show her, that i don't sit around waiting on her to take some decision. If she wants to be with me, then she better fucking say it right away.. "I'll need to think" - "Well no the fuck you don't. Let me take the decision for you. It's over"

That's the feeling i'm feeling right now. To be honest, i don't want to go back in this relationship, unless she proves to me, that SHE will work on it, and that SHE will make a lot of effort, because i'm sick and tired of her games! Therefor i think i should make the decision, to delete our relationship on facebook and see where it goes from there. If she says something like " But i want you back" I'll say " Then prove it, because i'm not waiting for you" And if she says okay, then i'll just do it, and then NC her.

I feel like i already learned a lot in just one single day. I've become better to listen to me instead of those fucking emotion/feelings, and i was so much BETA in our relationship.. I was so attracted to her in the beginning, when she pursued me, and i had the upper hand. But slightly as i got feelings for her, i became Beta and became a pussy/doormat, and she suddenly changed and became the ALPHA in the relationship. I don't want to be in this relationship or ANY where i'm feeling lower-value than her!

Did any of the above make sense?

_________________
A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

You're still a huge pussy, as your signature suggests.

Look at how emotionally invested you are in this girl. Pouring your heart out like a pathetic wet blanket. You wrote a soppy essay to her trying to convince her to stay with you using logic. And did she write you an essay back?? No, she wrote a one-line reply, purely because you made her feel guilty.

You are way more into her than she is into you. You're too easy, women don't want guys to be needy like you. You've been with this girl for a month and you're already acting like she is your soul mate. Alarm bells are ringing in her head. You're lucky she's even still replying to your texts. Most girls would've run a mile by now.

Give her space. Back off. No contact. Keep your options open with other girls. No contact means no contact. Do not make up excuses to contact her. If she doesn't contact you for a month or so, accept that it's over and move on. Her interest level in you is at an all time low.

Thanks for your reply!

I definitely see what you mean. I do feel, that i have changed slightly. Not much, but my actions are different. I sent her a text a minute ago saying, that i am going to remove our status on facebook, so it would be official, and so i did !

So i'm single, and i don't want to win her back. I feel no need to contact her, though i still have a lot of feelings towards her. If she wants anything, well then she can contact me - I don't want to wait on her any more!

_________________
A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

What happened to "no contact"? The correct thing to do would be change relationship status to Prefer Not to Say and unfriend her. No explanation needed. Why text?

Actually the correct thing to do is to stay the fuck away from Facebook. It's just pure problems.

Well. In my head it made sense. It wasn't an excuse to contact her, but a necessary thing to do in my head. I don't want to hostile her, and i do still respect her. So i thought the only fair thing to do, was to tell her before i did, so she could prepare for a lot of comments and phone calls.

From now on. It's NC. No excuse to contact her, unless she contacts me. We were supposed to go to London in a week, so i cancelled the hotel and got a refund. I owe her some money, but she'll contact me, if she wants them right?

And i don't think i could chance the status to "Prefer not to say" I changed it so Single, and i actually expected it to pop up in the news feed, but it didn't,

_________________
A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Keep the money. Let her beg for it if she wants it back.

As much as i hate the phrase, but you really need to just MAN UP and give each other some space. and when you do- stop stating it as well. When you're ending things, dont say "this is the end, no more contact now."

Fuck that, Just do it. Actions will speak louder than words- and it makes your message a resounding ECHO everytime she thinks of you. Stop reacting to what SHE does and be PROactive. Do shit on your own terms bro, like a real man.

just dont do anything related to her. you will be tempted, and you will feel bad. you will feel guilty and you will feel sad.

"But she's so good at hiding her feelings from people!"

While that may be true, the fact is- you're playing to her OWN reality. the bigger question is- you know she is, but what are you gonna do about it? Nothing. because that's what you should be doing. No contact is NO CONTACT regardless of the situation. i dont care if she has the pokerface to rival a pro- you dont do shit on her own terms, and when she gives you that poker face, you show her that you aint bluffing for shit and that you've left for good.

ALWAYS be on your own terms. ALWAYS. otherwise, you'll get played.

_________________
I'm listening.



Formerly Sinful of the Paragon Project. Come and say hello!

Thank you both for the responses. I love the "quote". I'm actually feeling pretty good. Well ofc. i feel weird, when i'm used to be with her, but somehow i'm way better to tell myself, that i'm to good. I still need to show that, but i think i'm on the right track.

Yesterday i felt so bad, and let my feelings control me. I was ready to get back together with her on any cost! If she told me, that i should change that about my self, i would probably try to do it, even though it is so far away from my morale code. I just easily get distracted and controlled by my feelings. Today i don't have the same feeling at all. I actually fell good, but weird. If she by any change told me, that she is sorry and that she wants to come back to me, then i would tell her, that i'm no longer sure, that i will. I realized some things, and she better prove herself worthy, to be with me.

I'm going NC. I haven't had the slightest urge to text her today, and i really don't know what or why i should? - It feels completely ridiculous, to text her something random, or send a text like i did yesterday morning, where i said we should give it a chance. Her telling me yes, and later changing her mind, was the turning point for me. I haven't felt sad since. I've felt weird and ofc. lonely, but not sad.

This forum really does do wonderful things! - Some of the posts from you guys in this topic, and some in the others, really makes you open your eyes and tell yourself, that you are way better and way more worth, than that little pussy you feel like!

I'm in good shape, i have a great confidence, but i have a lack in self-respect, self-esteem and being an Alpha. I need to work hard on improving those things, but i already feel way better about my self.

Friday and saturday before she said she was willing to try, i didn't eat, i didn't run, i didn't feel doing anything, i didn't have any energy to play with my nephew and niece, i really just felt like doing nothing at all and just be sad. - After she send the text saying she needed more time, i suddenly pulled my self up, and i've done things. I ran, ran like hell! - I went bowling with friends, i and felt good! - I went to a tan salon, and i didn't feel the need to change the radiostation, when a love song was playing

Any advice what to do from now on? - In my head i need to " Focus on improving my self. Spend time with friends/girls, and last but not least, go NC with her

_________________
A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Okay.

Another day has gone. I've felt a bit more weird, and even though i still feel good or atleast way better than after the break-up, i still think about her a lot. When i wake up, i have an urge to check my phone, to see if she send me a text or called me during the night. I don't have an urge to text or call her though, because i know it won't have any affect at all.

Is it completely normalt the feelings i'm feeling? - I remember from a former relationship with a girl for five years, that i felt kinda the same way, but i had to text her and call her all the time. I thought that was the right way. Now i think a lot about my ex, but i don't want to contact her. Normal? And should i just keep going on like this, and wait for it to pass?

Open for any advice

_________________
A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Nothing has changed. There was no need for you to update the topic.

There is no need to post again until the situation has changed:

For example:
1) She contacts you without you contacting her first OR
2) You get dates with other girls

Until then, the advice is the same. No contact.

Things have changed now.

Her best friend (girl) told me, the same day she said she needed time to think, she kissed a guy when she was out. So i deleted her on facebook, and any other place where i could see her.

Im furious right now! I feel so much hate towards her, but i still have feelings for her, and miss her (or miss the fact of being with someone)

It hurt, when i realised, that we could never go back together. I don't want to be with someone, who can treat me so poorly and make out with some other guy, when she was supposed to "think".

So the NC will ofc. keep going on. I don't feel like telling her how big of a slut i think she is, because i don't want to sink to her level. A tip a lot of people say is : To get over a girl, you have to get under 10 others. I just don't really feel like that. I can't really see me fucking someone else right now, i haven't even yanked it like a monkey in a mangoo tree yet,

I do need some advice on how to handle her afterwards. We attend the same school (very small) and we see eachother every single day. Not before next week because of holidays. How should i react? Should i ignore her totally, or should i pretend like i've never met her in my life before? Is some of it more effectfull than other, when i try to get completely over this girl?

_________________
A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

How old are you?

I am 23 years old And to add. I am so easily affected by my feelings and emotions. Before we became a couple and we just flirted, i felt more confident and my plans were to go to Malta this summer and stay there for at least a year. I told her that and we agreed to take it step by step.

But slowly as i fell for her, i felt no need to go to Malta, i just wanted to be with her. I get so emotional and let my feelings run of with me. I really need to change that, because it's killing me. Not just now, but it has in the last too relationships that i didn't end.

"The best way to get the person you want is to not be afraid to lose them" THIS seems to be my problem. Not really the thing about getting the person, but i am to afraid of losing them / her.

_________________
A huge pussy, but that's about to change!