We've been almost for 4yrs together. In the beggining it was LDR (almost 2 years) i was playing things cool, she was the one who was chasing me, texting etc. When she finally came to city i study it was great, we had great sex, she had multiple orgasms, we were making a lot of kinky stuff, i always were trying to satisfy her first.

Then things started to melt down (i guess last 6 months). We didn't have so much sex, we both get too comfortable. Probly i also lost game somehow. She started telling me that her stomach hurs (she had health issues with it but i don't beleive it was it everytime) or that she's not in the mood. I was upset everytime because of it like a fucking kid not getting a candy.

Another thing she doesnt came with me on summer holidays were we had great opportunity to stay quite cheap in my sisters boyfried flat. I have visited beautiful places but without her.. again upset about it.

My parents bought a new flat in the city and i wanted her to move in, but she denied. I was trying to convice her to live with me but nothing convinced her.

This year she started to study like crazy (she wants to make PHD deegre) and she was telling me she don't have time etc. We barely have seen each other once a week. She didnt want to come to my place or meet in the city. I think i got a bit needy and started chasing her.

We had serious conversation and decided that we should take a break, she told me she probly wont manage to meet my expectations and that she feels bad about it and don't want to hurt me.

We still have feelings for each other, she was like my soulmate, similiar sense of humor, we liked the same music, films etc.

Next day she wrote on facebook that shes not sure about what she said, that she have doubts about it and that she probly made a wrong decision. She said also she's not motivated enought to give me what i want, trying less to satisfy me. So i lost value in her eyes?

I stopped contacting her and freeze out. Should i have hope that she will come back? If yes then what to do? Or should it just move on?

I feel devastated after those 4 years now.

Of course you fell devastated. The truth is that a breakup is often a painful and dreadful experience. There is no easy solution because the only remedy is time. You feel that the rug has been pulled out from under you.

You almost feel like your losing your mind because you feel you don't have control over your life anymore.

You feel this way because it was her that made that decision. She took your control. It sucks ass. Your ego took a major ass-kicking.

No matter what the fuck she says or how shitty and depressed you are, don't forget to take time for yourself to focus. This is a crucial moment where emotions may replace reason and may tempt you to act irrationally. Do not follow your instincts; thinking that you may be able to do or say something to win her back.

Just don't do it, it won't fucking work anyway!

Let her think your un-faulted, that SHE fucked up.

If you're trying to get a girl back, that automatically tells HER you dropped the ball in a big way!

Take this freedom to contemplate, meditate, do the shit you always wanted to, bang some hot bitches!

Use your Hall Pass.

Whatever you decide, don't do anything you'll regret later. If you truly loved her, then set her free. If it's meant to be, she will come back to you someday.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

If i can give to you some advice.

->Don't try to understand what she is feeling now with what she was feeling in the past. It will only make you more confuse.

->It will be a little vague, but use the fact that your ego is hurting to deal with repress feeling or desire. Because of the hurt, there is an opening and you can access them.
Also because of the hurt, the ego is in some "i want the control back mode". Try to act on it to kill the need to control. I'm not sure if i'm clear. But i'm thinking of some kind of taoism philosophy (it could be of great help btw, you should look at some of there book) which state that in order to have an action that is really effective, you have to kill the control/ego, you have to learn to act without a goal.
I'm not sure that value is a good way of seeing it. What i mean is, if you are beginning to thinks in term of "value" it mean (for me) that you got a quantitive way of seeing your relationship. Which mean you are already outside of it and no more in it (which should be a qualitativ way of seeing the relationship).
You shouldn't dig much about what she says. Well let's be clear. She thinks what she is writing but she is confuse and for now here way of interpretative every event since the break up will be with "i have to find reason to leave the relationship". So everything you can do or said will always be destroy, reformulate to justify her decision.
So you just have to let her by herself. For now you can do anything. Heywood is right, it's only if she wants to come back.
And yeah it sucks.

-> The only way for you to feel a little better and lessen the pain is by "emptying the ego" but not weakening it. By weakening it your pain will increase. By "emptying it" your pain will disapear.
I can't really tell you the différence it's just something i feel.
For example with gym is emptying my ego, because of the effort etc etc.
But booze is weakening my ego, and the effect or not the same.

Good luck :/