So here's the situation.

I've been having a fling with this girl for the past month and a half. We started off talking on facebook and texting. At first she was saying she only wanted to have me in her bed and wasn't looking for anything serious. But as time went on she was all-in and wanted to invest herself in a commited relationship with me.

Being really insecure and anxious as I am, I've always been distant with girls that I like, and when things start to get too serious I start panicking and most of the time feel like ending it. I got really insecure and jealous with this girl for the smallest things. So much that it made me physically ill. She was still digging me and still wanted to commit to me. Even after a few times that I suggested that things might not work between us. One time I ended it but texted her a few days later telling her it was stupid and I couldn't imagine myself without her like that. Talk about a roller coaster.

Last week was the time she decided she had enough, and I can understand why. I got mad at her for a stupid reason and the next morning I told her I thought things wouldn't work between us. She got mad and told me it was over. For the next day and a half she wouldn't answer my texts or calls, and boy did I call and text.

Basically I did everything wrong, she was clearly showing interest in me and I was being distant and non-chalant, while being extremely jealous.


After a day or two of no contact I got drunk and went to her place at 1 am. Rang her bell and she came to the door. Wouldn't let me in, I got mad and told her I had feelings for her, that I wasn't going to leave that I loved her. I eventually got in and we started making out, she was on her period so nothing happened but I slept with her and she was all over me. It's been two days and usually she would text alot, yesterday I think I was being way too clingy, telling her I was thinking about her and missed her and blabla. She told me she was liking the fact that I was opening up but I'm sure that deep down inside it's turning her off, she hasn't really expressed the same kind of feelings for me the last few days. Today I haven't received a single text from her, wich is a bit odd. I'm thinking all of this made me lose alot of attraction in her eyes.


She's leaving in two days for a week long vacation, I'm a bit worried if I don't see her before she leaves the last bits of attraction she has will just vanish.. Can I recover from this? Should I go back to being an heartless asshole? I'm a bit confused. Same scenario happened with my ex-gf and I was heartbroken for days even when I was the one that wanted to end it. I just get overwhelmed and want to escape but when I'm alone I realise I loved the girl and try to get her back everytime.


I know I have huge issues that I have to fix and work on myself, But I'd like to get this girl back to the stage where she was all over me.

Update :

Friday-Saturday night I went to her place drunk, at first she didn't want to let me in and eventually we made out passionately in her doorway and I slept with her, she was all over me and I left in the morning.

Saturday we texted alot like we would usually, she was playful and told me that her feelings had not changed, that she just needed the time to set her mind straight.

Sunday same thing, we texted back and forth like usual.

Both Saturday and Sunday I was my usual self, but couldn't hold myself back from saying romantic stuff to her that might have turned her off. I thought I had successfully won her back and wanted to show her that I cared.

Monday was the last day she was in town, as she was leaving in the night for her flight. I did not receive a single text from her. I was pissed because it was the last day/night we could spend a little time together and I didn't get any attention. At the end of the day I couldn't hold it any longer and texted her, she felt my disapointment. I went beta again and told her it was my fault anyway, that I screwed things over. And then she told me she thought she didn't feel the same way that she used to.

Eventually I convinced her to let me come to her place and kiss her goodbye before she left. Again we made out a bunch. She had hands in my tshirt and was kissing me. She told me 1 week was very short and that she would send me pictures. I tried keeping my cool and succeeded in not showing sadness and being cocky/funny but she still felt my nervousness.

I even extended my hand for an handshake before I left, in a very cocky way with a little smirk. She said ''no never, I'll never shake your hand in that fashion'' like she would never consider me in a ''friendly'' way.


So here I am, confused as fark as to how I should proceed. This girl was CRAZY ALL OVER ME a week or so ago, and now it's all crap. I'm not exactly sure if she needs proof that I really like her or if she just needs space.

She told me multiple times that it did not make sense for me to tell her I have strong feelings after acting cold and distant since the beginning. Basically I had her chasing me and instead of closing the deal at some point and making her my girlfriend I pussied out and she got tired of my sh*t.

Should I just go no contact when she comes back? I'm definately not bothering her this week. Thing is, she's a very busy girl and if I go no contact I will probably not see her again for a long long time. She has a lot of guys hitting on her and I might just lose her in the process.

it would be weird if you didn't talk to her when she got back, see how it goes, then decide later if you want no contact

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I'm an Ultra-Dork Neurotic Creeper who vlogs about approaching hot girls in da club.

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I am over 31 or so and had a bunch of relationships. One way to see it that if feelings are involved, like it seems you have feelings for her, it is time to stop play games. THIS IS NOT PUA ANYMORE! If you had sex and are clearly interested in her it is time to stop PUA stuff and act more like an AFC again. If you want sex without feelings at all, continue with PUA stuff.

The natural thing to do after sex, if feelings are involved, is to express the feelings and talk romantic sutff (like what you did). The problem with that is that one can get hurt, and also you are more vulurnable as you open up, but it is worth it.

Now she said: "she would send me pictures". Do you get that? So I remember like 3 girls that said that to me, when they went away. All three times the girls had feelings for me. This is a good sign, especially if it is a hot picture or like in bikini, or so.

Definitely call her when she is back.

I see it this way: in this situation, where it makes the impression that feelings are involved, act natural. Express what you feel is in many situations a lot better than playing games. You are congruent. If she doesn't like you you find out early. Playing games might slightly improve your odds, but also greatly increase the odds that you fuck up.

In Germany we say good luck

She actually texted me on wednesday.


It' surfer's paradise here!

*Picture of landscape*

Sleep Well xxx




And I replied : Looks amazing, enjoy xx



Didn't hear anything back from her since then. I'm thinking I shouldn't make too much of that text but at least she thought of me a little. She uploaded pictures on her facebook with a bunch of friends and she was pretty close to a dude she met there. Actually tagged in him the pictures and whatnot.. so meh.


I'm actually wondering what the best course of action would be when she comes back. I'm thinking I should definately let her come to me. But I'm also wondering what to do if she texts back, ask me if I missed her or whatever.

I had to add oil to the fire of course.

After she texted me last wednesday I decided I would wait for her to contact me again.

I got drunk on friday and texted her needy afc beta crap again.


''I shouldn't be telling you this but I miss you a lot''
''I think about you all the time''
''How can you not see that I'm in love with you''
''Sorry, I'm drunk, I love you xxx''


To wich she replied in the morning :

It's hard to realise someone is in love with you when he's pushing you away for a month and then says he loves you out of nowhere. And my vacation just made me realise I don't want to stay in *our hometown* for long. Forget about me, I'm serious.