What's the most alpha way of going about breaking no contact after 30 days expire? By being the initiator, you're essentially coming to them under their terms because they hold all of the power. The adage, "He who cares least controls the relationship" applies fully.

What's the most alpha—or at least, the least wussy way to reconcile with an ex when the break was due to logistical conflicts of interest rather than a traditional fight, loss of affection, or infidelity? If you have to surrender getting "your way" to reconcile, what's the least emasculating way to do it?

Like an alpha you say? Well, then, don't break contact IS the alpha way to go. If she comes back she comes back in your terms, if not, you shouldn't care too much because you're too busy living your life.

I'm with fugs.

Don't contact her. You'll end up getting oneitise, probably already do if you're still thinking of talking to her after a month.

If you're insistent on contacting her just drop a casual line as if it's an afterthought. "Hey, not talked to you in a while. Sup?"

I appreciate both of your responses. I agree in principle. Breaking contact period is a detriment to alpha status.
And no, I would never call her up and hide from the elephant. I was thinking of something like this delivered in a slow, composed, non-needy tone while acting like it's no big deal:

"Hey. ...It'd be ashamed to throw away such a great relationship over something so stupid, so let's work this thing out...Ya know, like normal people do when they love each other. You game?"

Just. don't. do. it. The way you phrased the above message shows she has more power over you than you have over her. Any attempt to contact her will be perceived as weakness on your part. This will drive attraction (if there's any left) into the ground.

If she wants to contact you, she will. If not, you have your answer. It's a win - win situation.
Now move along and game other girls.

There isnt a way.

You ever babysat before? When you tell them they cant have something and they storm off? and you just sit there and laugh, watch tv or whatever.

Then they come back to you, mouth pouted, arms crossed? How does that make you feel?


You're the kid in this analogy. dont do it.

_________________
I'm listening.



Formerly Sinful of the Paragon Project. Come and say hello!

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

Today I received a text from her exactly 4 weeks to the day... But there's something of a twist.

Well the texts say that she plans to call me TOMORROW and ask for a good time.

Wtf? What's her angle? Why the hell tomorrow when we're both perfectly available to talk right now???? I didn't take the bait though. I didn't want to look needy so I just went with it without asking why.

This is everything in its entirety:
I can interpret this in one of three ways.

1. She wants to work it out.

Either she recognized my inner-strength as a man and is willing to compromise according to what is right and the prior offer I made her, that if she would return for 1-2 months we could get back together OR she is going to try to negotiate with me somehow but on different terms.

2. She wants to formally end it.

In this case, she seeks finality and closure. She'll probably want to see if I'll "be okay" if she takes down the engagement status on fb, then probably attempt to repair some sort of friendship/contact with me. (I refuse to ever be her stand-alone friend again so that ain't gonna happen. I warned her when she insisted on being with me originally that we should just stay friends, but she wouldnt listen.) Perhaps she's seeing someone else or simply the "just not knowing" is killing her. Who knows.

3. She wants to "feel" me out.
Perhaps she needs to hear my voice, talk to me to make a final judgment. Her fb wall posted this a couple weeks ago:

"The key to making the best choice will be to envision that choice several years into the future. What does it look like then? Does it make your future self happy?"

I did tell her to tell me how she was doing in 3 or 4 weeks the last day I saw her as we were saying good bye. I suppose it could also be a strict adherence to that.

Either way, I won this war of attrition. Her coming to me gives me a ton of leverage/power going forward...

But why wait an entire day to call? I'm uneasy about this.

How do you guys interpret this?

#2 Chicks want CLOSURE

If she wanted to get together with you she would have thrown in an I miss you or something very personal.

Every female friend I have drones on and on about closure and how it kills them when they don't get it. As men we're all whatever but it just consumes women.

Good luck Phil

Nope. She used the "give me a call in a few weeks to see how you're doing" excuse for calling.

She was obviously interested in being with me though. She brought it up and said "I want you to move up here with me." In other words, she's trying to act all compliant and all walk-on-egg shells and shit except in the case of her coming back to me. Gotta stand my ground still.

I told her she damaged the relationship badly, but it could be repaired over time if we both work on it. Still got to figure out a way to get her to yield when it comes to returning to me before I go to her. Not interested in rewarding her bad behavior.

Is this an ex girlfriend or something?

Technically not ex. We're estranged because she's a flake. In the process of repairing the emotional distance before tackling the geographical.

Hold on... she's a flake... as in you've not had anything physical with her or you've fucked her and then she was flaky?

She's a flake as in she says one thing or commits to one thing or promises one thing and then totally abandons it. This is a serious, long term thing that developed a geological hardship somewhere along the way. She's a self-declared flip-flopper.

So, you've not had sex with this girl?

Stop talking to her altogether or give her one word answers. Treat her as if she's the least thing on your mind. Make her work for your attention and commit to actually seeing you and having something happen, otherwise express that you're not interested. She's just fucking you around and you're falling for it every time.

The only thing you should be concerned about is meeting up with her and having something happen. After this "Geological" crap(wtf does that even mean?!) you shouldn't give a toss about anything else. If she's expressed a desire to have something with you then don't be a pussy -- because you are a pussy from what you're saying -- just tell her flat out she either meets up or she can GTFO.

Dude, honestly, I would just move on because this chick has fucked with your head already.

Dude, wtf are you even talking about? The details are in my other thread. Never had sex with her??? I was engaged to this girl. Her ate up family moved her a thousand miles away and we had a pact about how this would be handled. Not driving 1,080+ miles to talk it over. I said geological cuz I was tired. I meant geographical.

Edit: Wait. lol. Did the term "no contact" get taken literally to mean I've never had contact?