Basically split up with my gf of 2 1/2 years. She said she loves me but isn't in love anymore. A couple hours later at night she told me she was sorry and was hoping I was okay. I said I'm okay and asked if she was okay. She said no and called me crying.

She said she is afraid of losing me and wants to be sure she wants to be with me if we decide to make it work. She said she thought of me with someone else, no being with me and no holding me and seeing me. She said she was afraid of losing me. She told me that she was feeling like she made a mistake and I said maybe we should take some space. And she agreed space would be perfect for her to clear her head. We are going to a close friends bday on Friday so I can't avoid that. But I said after that we will go back to taking space and she agreed.

Am I playing this no contact thing right? The fact that she is already questioning her decision seems good to me. Also, what do I do when she messages me?

She's posting a bunch of stuff of depressing love songs every where like on twitter, her blog, etc. She won't delete the pictures of us off everything but it's not her current display picture. I've been trying to be as non reactive as possible. I hope I'm doing okay because I love her and would love to get back together. Right now I'm gonna focus on my self but I'm just wondering if my approach is correct.

What I also realized is she lost attraction and interest. I wasn't who I used to be and I need to work on that aspect of myself again so that's what I'll continue to do as long as I need too.

I'm just not sure how to act when she breaks NC, when she goes to that party on Friday with me, or what to do when she posts those depressing/I miss you song lyrics Etc, or how to even play this out? I feel like it's starting off decent but who knows. I just hope that she finds she made a mistake for sure and she realizes she wants to be with me. For now I'm just assuming being nonreactive and working on myself is best. But what happens when she reinitiates?

Thanks in advance guys

When I've had previous girlfriends say "I love you but I'm not in love with you," it definitely has been a result of me losing her attraction... but I'd also add that it could be a little bit of being young/inexperienced/not interested in sticking out the more boring parts of the relationship in favor of stability (vs. trying something new). I.E., a 40 year old saying this to me is completely different from a 20 year old saying this. I've let go of several relationships that I thought were just in the natural down swing of the ebb and flow, just because I didn't want to deal with that "I love you but I'm not in love with you" crap every 4 months.

Anyway, I think you're on the right track. Go no contact but don't be completely aloof. You can respond to her texts or calls. Just keep it short, and always let her initiate. You don't want her to feel like you're completely uninterested, because then she might get embarrassed that she is trying too hard and that you're not reciprocating. I've been in that shoe, too, and it's no fun.

Good luck.

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- Lux et Veritas -

Thanks man as of right now we are broken up but she's pondering the idea of whether or not to get back together

I'm really tempted in texting her but I know I shouldn't.

What do you think of her posts everywhere and the way she seems like she's trying to get my attention? Is that a test or do you think she wants me to reach out to her or something?

Going no contact also includes ignoring the social networking sites. Whatever you have to do to not see that, do it. Think of it as the most passive-aggressive way possible to get your attention. Don't respect that, don't look at it, don't think about it - it is intended as an emotional trap.

Are you guys going to the party "together" or are you arriving separately and just happen to both be invited? Either way, that's going to be tough to navigate.

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- Lux et Veritas -

I thought it was some kind of an attention attempt I'm glad I didn't react to it. Though I am dying to text her right now. I know I shouldn't.

We are supposed to be going together but with others with us.

Last night just seemed like she was full of doubt of the mistake she just made and I kind of want her to realize that. My guess is that giving her more attention right now would ruin it unless she reaches out to me?

I'm going through something similar right now, and i can only say what others have told me. NC means NC. It has to outcomes. 1. Either she contacts you and wants to make things right or 2. You will eventually get over her.

So keep going no contact, even though it is killing you, and your head keeps thinking of stuff you could write to her.

Imagine if you texted her, and she agrees to try the relationship again. You would constantly be nervous about how she feels, and if she thinks of leaving you again. You'd probably do anything to make her feel better, and in the end you tried to hard and it would fail.. I texted my ex and said we owed ourself to give it a chance. She said yes, and at first i was so happy, but shortly after i felt nervous and felt like i had to prove my self to her. I DON'T! I am the prize and she has to prove her self worthy for me, and it's exactly the same thing in your situation

Hope it makes sense

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

Dude how old are you?

If you're a teen or in your 20's, please do all of us a favor, including yourself, and quit pondering whether to get back with this girl.

relationships don't last in your teens and 20's (unless late 20's).

Read this article of mines. It will really open your eyes on this matter: http://kennyspuathoughts.com/2013/10/29 ... ng-dumped/

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