On the 3rd date, K-close fails.

I know, I know..."MOVE ON". "You took to long"

But just curious to know what are your thoughts. I just moved to a new city and have zero friends. And it gets lonely. This girl is also new in the city. What's wrong with having female friends? I haven't been in a relationship for a decade now and not a natural at gaming at all. In fact after this 'blunder' I am convinced I just can't attract. Because.... I gave it my best on this one.

Background. Met this cute HB7 at a place I was visiting and since we are both new to the city I say, lets go grab drinks after this. We go to a bar. We talk, chat, share life stories etc, good rapport. I number close saying we wel organize something together for New Years as we are both new in town with no friends etc. 4 days later she is the one to text me first to update me on something we talked about. Anyway, since I was sick for NYE I invite her after new years to join me at a bar/club with some new friends I had recently made. I thought why not invite her in a group setting. My friends eventually leave at a certain hour, leaving me alone with her at the club. We dance (I twirled her) and she loved the place. Good times.. I didn't go for a K-close that night. Felt she was keeping distances during dancing and I just did a mistake of not doing it. Fine.

Weeks go by. She initiates text again so I set a 2nd date, just me and her this time, live music place. Low lights. We dance, drink, laugh, she has fun. Again, I didn't go for k-close. I felt I just didn't get the right IOIs or there was a distance in her.

A week goes by, she invites me to join her at an event, I decline, "too busy" doing something else. Couple of weeks go by, she texts asking how it went with that thing I told her about. So we arrange to meet Sunday afternoon to walk around the city. 3rd date. Ok, this girl kinda keeps initiating with these texts..I am going to k-close this time.

We have a good time on that day and as we say goodbye, I lean in and she avoids the kiss, surprised, saying she wants to my friend blah blah, that she has fun going out with me and dancing with me and, she is kinda "seeing someone else" (I think bullshit, she just moved to this city"). I have to mention at this point, that she told me before that she broke up from a recent long relationship.

In hindsight, I should have felt it that she wasn't perhaps attracted (yet) but I thought she might be one of those girls that was a bit more conservative in their body language and also for my sake I had to try and close because I haven't in years.

I don't know what I am asking here for but I had to write this down!

Awww, I almost cried.

Shed a tear for all mankind.

Look sitting around and being a giant, lonely, blue balled, self absorbed, pussy isn't going to fix this.

The question isn't "How bad is it to just be friends?"

It's how do I remember how to be a MAN?

You either forgot, or never learned that YOU are the leader, the protector and provider. YOU drive the relationship, or at least, should. I've said it before and I will say it again, the sole purpose of "pic-up", is not to hang out and see how much you have in common. It’s not to simply go to great restaurants and share tasty meals. Rather, it is for the man to prove to the target of his affection, that his is willing and able to provide for her, protect her, and the most desirable mating choice.

Her only job is to be a fun to be with, sexy as fuck, and to decide whether she feels she made the right choice.


You had THREE chances to be that choice, and you pussied out each time.


We have a good time on that day and as we say goodbye, I lean in and she avoids the kiss, surprised, saying she wants to my friend blah blah, that she has fun going out with me and dancing with me and, she is kinda "seeing someone else"

I'm VERY interested in how YOU responded to this?

Time to suck it up my friend, look in the mirror, and realize your goal is not to look for sex or a woman but merely to look for and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
Once we accept our limits, we must go beyond them.

Your in a new place, nobody knows your former pussy self, what more perfect time to recreate YOU.

Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.

Join a gym, start a project you've always wanted to try.

Earn your self-esteem back and, the side effects will be not giving a fuck, whether this - or any-other- little trollop want to be your friend or not!

Or sit there feeling sorry, while I take her to my place and fuck her guts flat after you paid for her dinner.

Your call!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Here, have a tissue...


How I responded? I told her I don't do the "friend" thing, and I am not interested in that. I hugged and kissed her goodbye and told her "don't be a stranger" and left with my head up high. That's it.

I am not sitting here feeling sorry (I have learned not to do that after a long onitis) but I do have really bad skills at making friends in general and it seems that no one is interested in establishing long friendship with me despite me being a decent normal guy who can have fun.

No, I never learned how to lead strongly though I know I have been leading this last time pretty well except for the failure to kclose.

Look, there are some things I agree with the above and some I don't. I feel your view is reductive on 'pick-up' and that that is all that it is about, being the "protector and provider". Sure sure, thats also true but it is MORE than that. And yes it is also, as you say, more than JUST fancy restaurants etc. I actually enjoyed being with this girl and wasn't seeing it as a "pick-up' but as something that could lead to a longer thing. WARNING EVERYONE - tap your ears before they explode: yes I am focusing on seeking a relationship instead of fclosing 7 times a week.

No tasty dinner or fancy restaurant was involved. What involved was ME having fun for myself without focusing on TRYING HARD to ensure she has fun. I didn't pay for any dinners, if anything I ordered her to move her little ass and go buy drink for me at the bar as I hanged up my coat, which she happily did.

Could it be she was just not into me at all? I mean, is it even remotely possible that no matter how a great PUA tries..the girl is just not into you (unless she is one of those HB10 who only opens her legs for cool Johnny Depp types). You all here seem that any girl is going to be interested in a guy as long as he games the right way no matter what.

This forum is great for pick-up and pua advice but maybe I am posting in the wrong place about asking if one can at least have some female friends. What are you all? Just single guys fucking hot girls and only have male friends? Please.

Blah blah, don't be a pussy. Get friendly with her and have her introduce you to her friends then work on them. Simple.

Man the fuck up and don't obsess over a chick.

Jesus. I am not obsessing. I am moving on. I was just questioning wether one can be friends with someone who gives you a LJBF. She is fun to be with but I am not that crazy about her that I am in tears so I feel I have no problem seeing her again.

Yes, you can be friends and it pays off because she most likely knows other girls you can game.

It's hard if you're AFC but once you have the mentality of abundance you won't have this problem.

Remember: Women are plentiful. For every single amazing girl you see out there and fall for there are roughly a million more exactly like her who would fuck you.

Well, she's new here so she doesn't have friends yet. If anything she wants me to let her know when I go out with friends!

Yes, there are plentiful of far more beautiful women, far more than her, everyday around me.

I am just friendship-deprived! LOL.

Chicks make the best wings. And if you just treat her like the bratty little sister tagging along, she'll likely end up on your dick anyway.

Two plausible female friend types.

1. Those you have fucked.
2. Those you want to fuck.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.