| You remember her don’t you? You know, THAT girl, “The One” that made your sun rise. The girl that made every moment of everyday that you thought of her feel like pure magic. Do you recall how you pined for her and felt all twisted up inside? Did you feel like you couldn’t live without her? Did you feel like she was so special that she was irreplaceable? Do you recall the pain convincing you that might actually die if you didn’t have her?
Did you feel that she was so rare, unique and special that she was impossible to replace, that you had to suffer whatever abuse she heaped upon you? I’m not implying that she was malicious, maybe she just thought of you as a friend. Maybe you watched her date and screw loser after loser that never treated her with half of the care that you would have. Perhaps she gave you hints of affection, held hands, kissed you, and pulled away every time you tried to you tried to develop something more intimate. Maybe she laughed in your face and caused you to suffer socially crippling embarrassment. Possibly, you dated and you tried everything you could to rescue her from her self-destructive tendencies and finally had to give up. Did she crush you out of the blue by cheating on you? Was she bi-poplar? I don’t mean regular chick hormonal bi-polar, I mean actually bi-polar.
Based on nothing other than you reading this article, I’m going to make the assumption that you survived. If you are still in the midst of this heartache, unless you decide to take the chicken shit way out (remember it’s down the road, not across the tracks) then you will survive. All the heartache, tears and anguish this woman has caused you is only temporary. Your days will go on, the sun will still rise, and despite all the pain you won’t actually die.
If you think about it, the worst thing that actually happened during all of that suffering, well was that you suffered. Ask yourself what was the real cause of your suffering. All the angst, pain, worry, highs and lows, how did that happen? Admit it, it happened internally. You developed an attachment that you weren’t willing to walk away from when it became painful. What did you call that attachment? Was it a crush, attraction, dedication, desire, feelings, lust, passion, romance, l-o-v-e? Whatever the label the cause was probably the same, it was you.
That’s right, don’t blame her because more than likely it was your own fault. You formed the attachment that opened you up to get hurt. While that truck was driving down the road, you were holding on to the bumper for dear life. A wiser you, a smarter you, would have let go for dear life.
Am I saying that we as men are supposed to be robots? Are we supposed to be bastards with hearts of granite, of course not. We just have to be measured in the amount of investment that we commit to a woman before she earns it. The less you commit yourself the better. It is an unfortunate truth that in relationships that the one that cares the least, has the upper hand.
How does a better informed man stay on top of his game? A better informed man doesn’t invest anything more than he’s getting from a woman. He’s not afraid to hold his ground because he understands one very important thing.
There are about 3.5 BILLION women on this planet. There will ALWAYS be another woman. The girl that you thought was “The One”, she’s just ONE of billions. If you look carefully and judiciously you will find another. You will probably find one without the baggage that she had. You’ll find one that thinks that you are amazing and she’ll treat you like you’re amazing. For every ounce of energy you spent trying to manufacture something with “The One”, you could have been sowing the seeds of a healthy mutually beneficial relationship.
You are the man that is confident enough to protect yourself from the whimsy of womankind. You are a man that is confident to stand his ground. You are a man with extreme confidence because you know if one opportunity doesn’t work out, there are roughly another 3.5 billion chances to go.
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CHAT