I recently read the levels of disrespect from a chick. I don't know if I agree with such a strict system but:

1.Combativeness (chick argues just to argue..."We are getting chinese tonight"..."I don't want chinese I want tacos!)
2. Slick comments ("I want to write a book!"...."yeah right")
3. Insults
4. Insults/making drama in public
5. Insults when you aren't there
6. Infidelity


I just want to know how to handle each level...

1. I've always just said "No, I want chinese, we are getting it" but let her have input sometimes. Just make your opinion valid by doing what you want.
2. Slick comments, just let them slide and be unaffected? I've always ignored these
3. Insults. Now this one I have the hardest time with. If a girl says things like "you are a pig", I've said "Oink Oink." If a girl says "you are so dumb" I'll say "durrr durr I can't even speak." If a girl says "that is stupid", just ignore it. But recently I've found with my newest chick, she pushes boundaries quite a bit. Rolls her eyes ect. Keep in mind I've either always agreed and amplified or ignored. For a long time been doing this with the same chick. And she rolls her eyes when I do this! So I've talked to her recently and said that name calling is disrespectful (as with eye rolling) and saying things like "you are so dumb" to each other (ive been guilty too) is unacceptable to me and won't be tolerated in a firm, but not angry tone. She has agreed with this and asked if I feel better that we have talked about said issue. I say if you keep in line with a shit eating grin on my face.
4. I've had a chick say "good for nuthin" as a comment in front of a store clerk before. I've always ignored it and been unphased.
5. INsults when not there? Can't say I've encountered this one beyond chicks telling their friends I am an asshole sometimes which I take as a compliment.
6. We all know infidelity is an automatic next.




Are these all essentially shit tests or do some cases of disrespect have to be treated differently?

Also, somewhat unrelated question: If a woman has no respect for a man in a relationship such as a marriage, can there be attraction on her end? Will we get laid consistently by a woman who doesn't respect us? In my opinion, hell no. As guys we might still want our wives nightly if we don't respect them, but we'll get some on the side. But I feel as though women will cut off sex in a relationship more times than not with their husband/boyfriend if she no longer respects him. She'll find sex from someone she is attracted to. Hence the modern day broken marriage where the wife denies sex constantly and is confrontational at all times

Something else weird has happened to me...a chick makes me sandwiches, will even tie my shoes when I ask her (LOL), initiates sex all the time and praises me in every way possible, will make sure I have food for work by giving me snacks, gets me small gifts here and there, futures me.....

but on the other end of the spectrum she is combative quite a bit with the dinner plans (she is a vegitarian tho), makes insults quite a bit with nasty words (for instance I bought an expensive shirt, then never wore it so gave it to a friend and she said "well that was stupid", so I said excuse me? and she said "poor choice of words sorry" after we had the respect talk (she is a ball buster but still) ect.


Those two descriptions totally contradict!

So dumb.

by agreeing and amplifying you are sarcastic and saying that what she said is ridiculous and it doesn't phase you that she thinks that

OR

do you call her out in a calm way but show that it bothers you every time


Hakuna's old posts say that when a girlfriend insults you, you should "think it's cute" and come from a state of amused mastery....

however if it becomes a problem then tell her you expect a girl you are in a relationship with to not call names ect and show you do not tolerate it

No, I was referring to the question the poster asked, not providing a strategy.

What is disrespect really? It's an evaluation on what another person is doing to us.

Now that said, if someone spits in your face, the vast majority of people will take that as offensive. How you frame the person's behavior, however, will determine whether you become reactive or responsive. Naturally this will vary on the relationship and the context of the situation itself. If, for example, somebody hurls a perceived insult your way you will respond very differently if you see them as a hurt person acting-out versus somebody you globalized as an A-hole to which you'd become purely reactive (emotional) and punitive.

If you're perceiving someone's being disrespectful why not come to them with an attitude of curiosity at first. Maybe she was just being jocular (perhaps she grew up with brothers who she rough housed with) and to her its a sign of endearment. Or, maybe she is just trying to tear you down. Either way if it bothers you simply tell them that "when I hear you call me that name, I feel frustrated and a hurt because I have a need for respect" for example. So you're doing this out of compassion, not out of retribution.

Now the other thing is if they don't respond in kind, they may very well be upset about something they'd perceived you as doing, in which case just empathize with them unit their need is met, and then you can deal with addressing your needs.

wow man that is an excellent response! thank you great advice and will follow

Who the hell are you guys dating? I swear sometimes I read this stuff and I think guys are meeting women at mental institutions or holding on to a certain woman for a green card.

Screw levels. Now it's a strategy of how to deal with shit from women?! This is why I dislike the term shit test because it excuses women from being disrespectful and there is the myth that ALL women do it.

The jist of it is if a chick does all this to you I doubt you're happy being with her. In that case...DONT BE WITH HER.

Newsflash, a lot of women have fucking issues. Many are near psycho and just negative people. Sometimes you meet and date them. Run. When you date these chicks it only messes you up, because you're not happy and you get a bad view of what a good relationship should be. There are soooo many women out there, why are guys wasting their time on women who insult them?

I agree neo but what has always confused me is, what if you say "oink oink where is the farm" when your girl says you are such a pig in a disrespectful way or even with a smile. Or you are so dumb after you make a comment to her and you go dur hur!

Did i shoot myself in the foot doing that? I pretty much try to stay unaffected

If a girl is bitchy and says " oh yes because everyone wants you lionheart" after you say how a girl hit on u, and you say yup damn straight pimp and agree with her bitchy comment unaffected, does she see comfotable guy or doormat who doesnt care if she says crap to him?

Why are you telling her a girl hit on you?

Ok that one was my fault but say for instance a chick says You are so dumb! With a scowl on her face. If i say dur hur or something outlandish without giving it weight is it weak to let her say that and be unaffected because i kniw it isnt true? I think my girlfriend thinks i was a doormat by not telling her to stfu all these times! I saw it as unaffected state

Neo is right.

If you're not happy with a girl for one reason or another, just leave and find a replacement.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

I want to know if i caused said behavior in her. Aka by agreeing and amplifying to not give her comment weight versus saying it is not acceptable and being affected or controlling

When a girl knows that you can walk away from her and easily find a replacement, she is more likely to modify any bad behavior that you don't like. The takeaway is one of the most effective seduction and compliance tool around.

Girls are emotional creatures. Talking to them about things that you don't like will not get you anywhere. Show them what you don't like and demonstrate that you're going to leave her cold and dry if she doesn't shape up, then you'll trigger very intense emotions that lead to better behavior.

Of course, when a girl lets you walk away and doesn't chase, take that as feedback that you need to improve yourself in one weak area or another.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Haha after i had those talks with her i offered plans and she didnt take em right away so i made plans elsewhere. She then offered the same plans to me which i held strong to my new plans. She has called me 7 times since then. And texted 5. I will say maybe later in the week to her. This is against my normal behavior even tho we talked and resolved my issues with her. She will now sense my lessened affection and want to change. Is this how it works