By pure chance I'm in the same city as my ex.

It's a very tough period for me.
I don't know many people here, I don't go out much if at all (I feel bad spending money when I don't have an income), I haven't managed to find a good job so far despite my best attempts and all my family and closest friends are far away.

She's outgoing and goes out often, knows many people, so I see her as a possible new friend and a great contact that could bring me back at least to social life.
But at the same time I think it would be a bad idea.

Everytime we met without being in a relationship it's gotten sexual and some feelings resurfaced, we haven't been in touch since almost 2 years after I cut off contact, and her last mail said she felt bad as she thought I was her best option for a relationship.


What do you think?

I feel for you brother. She's your ex for a reason, and it is best keeping that way. However, I'd be lying to you if I took that advice myself.
If you need to "get it in," there's no shame in using the ex. As soon as you do, you're going to regret it, but at least it will give you a confidence boost to find a new chick.

While on the topic, try to be upfront about what you want. This way will prevent (at least minimize) the resurfacing of emotions that is bound to happen.

Best,
Samex

Thanks man!
I liked the part "as soon as you do, you're going to regret it"

Hm it seems that you still have a lot of value to her. Just out of curioisty: Is she not recognizing your lack of social connections SPAM? I think its very interesting that you have a lot of high value to her even without a job and friends. How are you going to do it?

Good luck man

Cheers

Nono, I have no idea of the my "perceived value" SPAM, we haven't been in contact since more than a year, so I don't think she has any idea on what's going on with me.

Puh tough spot... Are you interested in getting your ex back? If yes this might be a bad idea, because you will convey much low value when you want to use her to get social again....But if not, i guess it could be a good idea.

Honestly for myself i would try to get some friends without her. Get some buddys at the gym or whatever.

Cheers

I think if it won't emotionally bother you (or bother her for moral reasons) , it can't hurt to hit your ex up.

Otherwise I wouldn't do it, it could bring your state down. You may feel depressed which is bad for game. I've seen this happen to some of my wings a few times.

Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head.

I sneaked a peek at her profile pic on Facebook and I was afraid she was living an amazing life and had nothing left for me or that she wouldn't want to meet me in a million years or that she'd happily meet me with a BF.

I don't think these are good signs that would bode well for a meet up.

Many more ways it can go wrong that it can go well, with the only good way being she's single, still likes me, we have a great time with her group and we manage to restart a good and mutually satisfying friendship.

I suspect that what I'm looking for during a bad period is a glimpse of the past when I was happy and carefree, hoping of basking a bit in that good spirit again.

Drop her man. Life goes on, it always does...

GL

By the sounds of things it seems to me like you have too much emotional attachment to her. Sso I would advise against contacting her unless you are absolutely sure you can emotionally detach yourself from the outcome which to me it doesn't sound like you can so I'm gonna say drop it and move on. I was in your shoes before moved to a new city had no friends, but its surprising how easily you can make friends once you start going out. I've had some of my best nights and met the coolest ppl when I went out solo..

As far as contacting your ex I was in that exact same boat here's how it went.
This girl was hands down the worst oneitis I've ever had I was literally sick to my stomach over it, but I also had a lot of other shit on my mind too. Anyway I finally said fuck it its time to move on. I did and everything was better. Then one day about a year and a half later I saw her on fb chat I thought wtf I'll try and reopen her had no expectations nothing she saw it didn't respond I said fuck it texted another girl and went out with her that night. Even though she didn't respond I actually felt really good about the whole thing I don't really know why closure I guess, but unless you can react like that I'm gonna strongly advise against contacting her.

Hope that helps good luck!!

Yes it does, and what you say makes sense.

Thanks for sharing and thank you all guys for the support!