My girlfriend of over two years says she needs time to figure out if she still wants to be in a relationship with me. The past two weeks have been rocky and I've suggested that a lot of the negative energy is the reason for her feeling this way, Since she says that I haven't been doing anything wrong, I have been a little AFC(clingy,needy,etc). She claims she doesn't know why she feels this way. She said to me she wants things to be like how they used to be, exciting, genuinely happy. She said she doesn't really feel excited anymore and she is unsure of what she wants. I suggested I take time away and give her space but she was very sure she didn't want space but to be with me and spend time with me. She said she just needed time to figure it out.

I don't understand what to do? She doesn't want space but needs time. How do I approach this? She said she really loves me and I'm her best friend. She said she doesn't care about anyone like she does the way she cares for me. She says this is something but I could be right about the negative energy going on causing this. The two weeks have been rough and I think it's causing this. She said it could maybe be that, but she wants to be sure. I have no clue on what to do. Can anyone help please?

This the chick who cheated on you?

Yes, I later found out she was drugged that night and it was actually rape.

My question is how did she get herself in such a situation?

I'm not quite sure, all I remember is she left her drink on the table, came back and after that she remembered nothing after she drank it. But she'll be over in the morning.. I have no idea what to do.

She is telling me she loves me, wants me in her life. But she doesn't know what she wants and doesn't know of it'll be better. She said she'd have to figure it out on her own and I simply replied " yes you do".

What do I do from here? Ignore her? We are still dating and she is refusing to take space away from me. She says she just needs time but not space. What am I supposed to do with that?

For your sake I'd impose space. Be honest about it that you need to take care of your needs and since she's not sure about the rel it's not fair for either one of you to keep hanging out with that uncertainty looming overhead. Your attachment will just run deeper the more the two of you hangout, and eventually you'll find it an untenable situation.

Make the request for space, but be very clear about the WHY and do so in a respectful manner, she'll only think better of you for doing it. Maybe take a week or two and then re assess things at that point.

Thanks man I'll try to do it when she's over in person in a respectful way so she understands and doesn't take it the wrong way, I don't want her to think I don't care and don't want to be here. But, at the same time I don't want to make a bigger mess for myself

Take care of yourself, learn to listen to your body it never lies. If it's sending off unsettling feelings to you, it's doing so for a reason. Always speak from the heart and you'll never go wrong.

So you're saying I need to tell her I don't want a bigger mess, I'm either going to back away for a while or call it quits?

I'm not telling you anything. If that's how you feel there's your answer.

If she says she "needs time to figure out if she wants to be in a relationship with [you]" then tbh I think you should next her, as hard as that may be. It isn't fair on you, it's like saying "Could you hang around for a little and put your life on hold whilst I decide whether I want to leave you or not." Usually in my experience, if it gets to this stage, then it is already over. If she stays with you, she may well jump ship at the next opportunity that gets her attention.

You are the prize, you should be deciding whether or not she is good enough for you! There are girls out there who might be certain that they want to be with you, so go and find them.

She has put you in an awful limbo of waiting and hoping, which will further exacerbate the negativity and stop you from being a fun, attractive and unpredictable guy as it is always on your mind. This same thing happened to my best friend with his gf of seven years, turns out she was choosing between him and someone new.

Trust your gut here, why is she being like this? When she says "she doesn't know" it's bullshit. She does know. It's a smoke screen to mask what is really happening. But don't immediately assume the worst case scenario of her meeting somebody else and thinking of leaving you.

Start thinking about gaming other women and opening up your options.

What's with this go find other women mentality? That just wreaks of insecurity. To the guys offering this such as the poster above is your attachment fear that great that you need to jump into another relationship (short or long term) immediately after?

What ever happened to healing yourself, being on your own, learning to love yourself before getting involved with someone again.

No wonder some of you guys chronically have rel problems.

It's about having options to pick and choose who you date, so you don't end up getting stuck on someone that's bad for you. I have many options right up to the point where I decide who I want to be in a relationship with, I've made the wrong choice plenty of times, but it is still my choice.

In the above situation, refusing to sit in limbo and actually going out and meeting new people will give him his balls back and perhaps give her a kick up the arse when she realises that he isn't going to be her fall back guy, and that he is a desirable, attractive man.

This is a pick up forum, not a girl's tumblr page reblogging images of the ocean with the words "learn to love yourself before you can love someone else" suspended above it.

Well we ended up talking about it when she came over. She made it very clear she didn't want space. It turns out she's really afraid of relationships when things go wrong because of her parents divorce. I wouldn't know anything about what it's like to have my parents not together so I guess how she's feeling could be serious?

She claims when she's with me and we don't argue things are great and she's so happy. She knows we are past the honeymoon stage and just wanted to share her feelings with me as to what she was feeling. She apologized for her poor wording but she said in reality she's just afraid it'll always be bad and misses the way it used to be.

So basically that narrowed it down so much more than what I thought it was. I still think I need to do something about increasing the attraction she has for me but how do I go about doing this in a LTR? Wouldn't she think something was up? I'm not sure how to even text her because I find texting a girl you're gaming is different from one you've been with for a long time.. Any tips on that guys?

I also tried telling her I was busy and wouldn't be able to see her this week but she started crying and said she didn't want to not be around me because she's scared of losing what we have? So I told her it was nothing to do with that, I was just generally busy.. But she persisted on making plans which is nice cause it shows she wants to be around me but at the same time could this get in the way of me increasing my attractiveness/value in her eyes?

See how things can be resolved quickly through direct communication rather than hiding your needs from each other? Can use this as a great opportunity to reinforce authentic communication.

If you'd followed Rough Operator's advice you'd already be cheating on her by now only to realize later the real reason behind her behavior.

Good work dude:)