VV Cephei's Journal - University Day Game



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 10:41 am 
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I don't have much of an update as far as progress goes, but there are a few things that I'd like to mention anyways. I touched on this before, but I said that I wanted to see progress in this journal and that I didn't want to keep writing these long frustrated emotional posts that all basically say the same thing. I believe it was Artful Roger's journal that I read a few days ago and he said something similar on how he felt his journal had recently become an 'emotional dumping ground' or something like that. On the one hand it does feel good to express myself and 'get it all out', but if I seem to be repeating myself and saying the same thing, then it's not really helping anyone else who reads this, or not really helping myself either. I guess there comes a time where you have to stop writing, and start doing.

I've come to realize a few things about myself and my progress, or lack thereof. I can make a good initial impression it seems, but my problems always seem to come in the follow up, whether it's by text or a second or third conversation.

It seems that I've forgotten how to flirt, and neglected to really show any intent and the result of that is that I treat the girls I'm interested in just like buddies or just like a girl I'd be a friend with. In general I play it too safe and it seems that I 'friendzone' the chicks that I'm interested in. I don't know this for 100% sure, but thinking back and going over my interactions in detail, I'm pretty sure that this must be a very large part of why I've found that I've had so many possibilities that seem to just fade away, or go nowhere.

Sometimes part of my problem is that I can't tell whether a chick is actually into me or just enjoys talking to me because I'm a friendly guy and we have nice conversations. And I guess the answer to that is that I have to just find out. But how should I do that? Or what is the best way to move things forward and find that out?

And being honest, another part of why I'm hesitant sometimes to show that desire or intent comes from some 'guilt' for lack of a better way to put it because I'm often quite a lot older than the chicks I'm talking to. So in order for me to feel ok about showing intent, I wait and I wait for the girl to give me really strong signs, and I guess I wait too long or just don't take the hint well. In my past I've often joked about that I need a chick to wear a hat with a flashing red light and a siren for me to get the hint that she's interested. And again, this is why most of my success in the past came from being out at the bar where things would progress so much quicker and the environment was completely different than it is during the day in a setting like a school.

I suppose that it comes down to flirting and just being a bit bolder. I remember reading Daniel Balboa's journal awhile ago and he stated that 'game is escalation', and I understood it at the time, but for whatever reason I failed to incorporate that mindset into my own game and my own interactions that I've had with girls.

I think that part of my current problem is that while I'm understanding what that means, I'm finding it hard to think of specific things I can do or say to actually apply that mindset to my conversations that I have.

I guess a very basic question that I'm struggling with at the moment is what should I do or say to show my intent?

In the Steve Jabba videos I mentioned in my last post, he basically just comes right out and says it. He'll say something like, 'I think you're really attractive, why don't you give me your number and we'll go out.' Perhaps that's what I need to do, or something similar. If I did that it would cut through a lot of the bullshit and it would force her to 'show her hand' and then there would be no more guessing. I guess after you say something like that you'll find out for sure one way or the other if she's into you.

And again, for me, it comes back to protecting my ego and the fact that I'm often too 'afraid' to say something like that in case she's not into me and I have to feel that embarrassment or whatever of being rejected. But at school I find it hard sometimes, especially when it's with a girl in my class. Perhaps it's an excuse that I use to make myself feel better, but I find it hard to push things or escalate because I always think about what an awkward situation it will be if I fuck up or if I read the signals wrong and she's not into me, but yet I have to see her for the rest of the semester.

At the same time I understand that if I want things to go anywhere I'll have to find out sometime, but I think my problem is that I wait too long or that I wait for the girl to 'give me one more sign' that she's into me, then I'll say something. And usually by that time too much time has passed, and she doesn't seem to give me those signs like she did when I first met her, and I then think that she's probably just not into me, and I end up just being her friend and lose touch when the semester is over. I've had more situations like that than I care to remember.

So basically, in a nutshell, I have to work on these few things:

- flirt more with chicks that I like
- show/tell her that I'm interested and show more intent

But other than being super direct about it, I'm still struggling with how I should go about that.

Anyways, enough 'emotional dumping' and mental masturbation, it's time to stop writing and start doing. I hope to update this journal soon with some progress.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 2:54 pm 
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My eyes are finally open

I won't be back at the school until next week, and I'll be quite busy so I doubt I'll be going out or have much of a chance to meet any girls until then. But I wanted to briefly mention a few realizations that I've come to.

It's hard to explain or put into words, but I feel almost stupid for not realizing this earlier. It's like being presented with a riddle that's got you stumped for awhile, then after you find out the answer you can't believe that you didn't figure it out before, and now that you know the answer, the whole thing just seemed so easy and obvious.

Nevertheless, the answer to the riddle that has had me stumped is simple. Escalation.

I know I've said it before, but it wasn't until I recently refreshed my memory by watching a bunch of videos and reading some articles that things finally clicked. And like I said, it now seems so obvious to me that I can't believe that I've been so blind. But, better late than never is an expression that I have often used and believe in.

So yeah, I've forgotten how to flirt and escalate and show my intent, and it wasn't until I broke down and did a few searches on 'how to escalate' etc did I finally give my brain that refresher that I needed. And it all came back to me and started to make sense. It's my lack of escalation and my 'fear' of showing intent is the reason why I've had so little success in daytime pickup. And it's always been that way for me.

Ninety percent or more of my past lays have always come from being at a bar, online dating, or what most people call 'social circle' game. I've more or less failed hard at any sort of daytime pickup at school my whole life, and it's because I can usually get the initial attraction, but I have never really understood and applied flirting and escalation. And the ugly result of that failure has been that I've had a pretty dismal track record of being able to pick up a girl at school where the whole process relies on me and my ability to move things forward. What it has come down to is that most girls never really know that I'm into them because I basically do fuck all except just talk to them normally in class like I would any other person. I can't believe I've been so blind to that fact.

After reading about it, I found there is so much more that I can do in terms of:

- intent (be honest, don't hide or ever be ashamed of what you want or your intentions)
- eye contact (more seductive)
- voice (slow it down)
- touch (kino escalation)
- proximity (being close)
- humour
- flirting
- have fun (don't take yourself so seriously)
etc.

I could expand on each of those points, but it wasn't until I read about them more to refresh my memory or watched a few videos that I had so many 'aha' moments where I realized just how much more I could and should be doing in each of those areas. I also read up on a lot of things to do with better text game that will help me as well.

So all of those things put together answered my basic question of "how do I show more intent?", and now it's like a light finally switched on in my thick fucking skull! lol

But anyways, I'll spare anyone who reads this the agonizing details of me going through each point, but there were some of the above points that I do pretty well already, and some points that I've nearly neglected or could use a major overhaul on. But I do feel a lot better overall now, because it seems that all of the confusion has been lifted, because I finally now have the tools to fix what my problems have been, it's now just a question of getting back out there and using them.

I always harp on myself saying 'I need to approach more', and I guess I should, but the real improvement will come when I handle the interactions that I already have differently. Just in the last couple of months alone I've had 2 or 3 girls slip through my fingers that I'm sure were interested in me, and they faded away because of my lack of escalation and being clear about my intentions. I need to remind myself of the saying 'if you do as you've always done, then you'll get what you've always got'. So more approaches isn't necessarily my answer, it's changing how I interact that will yield the greatest results. Game is escalation.

Anyways, I'm sure there will be an update sometime next week after I've been back at the school.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 9:37 am 
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Seems to me like you are going in the right direction.

Particularly in daygame, you'll find that your "subcomms" or pretty much everything other than what you are talking about are super important as far as showing intent goes. This is how some people give off very sensual, seductive vibes, even if they aren't saying anything. I've had girls I wasn't trying to get with, or touch, or anything like that, tell me I'm so sexual. It's because I talk in a relaxed manner, I move in a relaxed manner, and I look people deep in the eyes when I speak to them.

Eye contact is at the top of that list, in my opinion, and is probably more important than all the rest combined.

I also noticed that I subconsciously lick my lips when I'm flirting with girls, and tend to stare at theirs too. I don't know but I'm pretty sure they pick up on things like that, almost like they can read my mind.

A bit of light touch is good, but you need to reach a certain point with that, which is why all those subcomm things are more important, at least in daygame.

Same applies to direct statements. In daygame, I use those only as last resort approaches (i.e. I have to stop her cold and that's the only excuse) or after I have gotten some signs of interest out of her. Going for the number is a good place to explicitly say you like her.

But that doesn't mean you can't be flirty or "jokey" in displaying your interest either. I used to tell girls things like "Who would have thought true love could happen in the frozen pizza section?" or similarly playful stuff. Again though, there needs to be a certain amount of mutual interest present for that.

All that said, I'd try to dig a bit more into the "inner game" piece you mentioned. What is holding you back? There should be no reason for timidness.

On the one hand, I actually think it's OK to tread lightly with girls you see repeatedly in a "closed environment." It's OK to be a bit more cautious but you still need to be honest with them at some point and ask if they have a boyfriend or tell them you're wondering if they'd like to go out. On a more general level, beyond girls you see repeatedly, there shouldn't be much of a reason for anxiety towards showing intent.

The way I've always looked at it was that showing intent is simply allowing me to find the girls that are into me, and the rest of them are gone in an instant. I think you might be caught up in the mentality of "trying to get the girl to like me." In that mindset, you can screw things up. But if the mindset is "Let's see if this girl is into me" you can't screw up. If she likes you, you get to bang her. If not, you've simply screened her out and Jay-Z would say, it's onto the next one.

This plays into much deeper things. When you approach it that way, you are telling yourself that you are worthy and that girls who don't think so aren't worth your time.

Stop worrying about the consequences of what will happen with the girls that aren't into you, and begin focusing on the possibilities of what could happen with the ones that are. They are the only ones that matter.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 9:09 pm 
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Hey man, thanks for chiming in.

As far as what's holding me back, well, it's the same thing that always has, and I haven't got over it yet. It's that fear of rejection, the fear of being shut down and worrying about what other people think about me and what I do or say. It's a really hard thing for me to shake, but I have gotten better but there is still a long way to go. It's easy for me to say 'I know I shouldn't give a fuck', but it's entirely different to genuinely feel that way when I'm about to approach.

And with me I'm usually more or less fine once I've started to talk, it's just actually getting myself to do it that seems to be the huge sticking point. It's like I almost need someone to physically shove me to get me moving to go speak to a chick. I often psyche myself out and make up all kinds of excuses or reasons why it's not a good time to approach.

I guess there is no other way around it other than to just do it, and do it more often. Confidence comes from doing, and lately I haven't done much to push myself out of my comfort zone, so I still find it really hard to push myself to approach the chicks that I'd like to talk to.

I'm thinking of trying to approach in a different way, and it's something that will push me out of my comfort zone because it's doing something I've never really done. Every half an hour the main hallways get pretty busy as there are lots of classes getting out and the hallways fill with people. At these times I see all kinds of girls that I've never really seen before and ones I'd like to approach. I'm thinking of just chilling on one of the benches in the area, and when I spot a chick coming that I'd like to approach, I'll just get up and start walking along side of her and open her that way.

I read a post of yours in someone else's journal awhile ago, and it said something like just walk up along side of her and say 'hey, how's your day going' or 'we're walking in the same direction so I figured I'd introduce myself', or some variation of that. I always say that it's rare that I see the type of girls I want to approach sitting alone in situations where I'm normally comfortable approaching, but this way if I can just get the balls to do it, I'll have a nearly endless pick of nice looking girls to approach if I just walk up alongside of them and say hi. Sounds easy, but I know my heart will be in my throat as I'm sitting on the bench and all of a sudden I see a chick I want to approach. But I guess you just have to man the fuck up and do it, or else I can sit there with fuck all and go home disappointed, just like most days.

And I don't really think that I have to get the girl to like me, I generally believe that she's going to like me or she isn't, I just have to present myself in the best way that I can. What I meant by 'screw things up' is that I just 'fear' that I'll misread the signs and end up embarrassing myself with a chick in my class and have to see her for the rest of the semester.

But my main problem with chicks in my class is that I do fuck all about it. I need to find out if they're single early, and just cut to the chase and move on if nothing is going on. It only gets awkward for me when I've known her for 6 or 8 weeks and have never given her any signs that I'm interested, then if I have to do something after that, it just makes it feel awkward and often by that time I've left things too long, and she's stopped giving me signs like she did when I first met her.

I think the major flaw in my thinking with girls in my class (and girls in general to an extent) is that I think that if they show me a sign that they're interested, I can just sit on it and wait forever and when I'm ready to make a move, I take for granted that she'll still be interested because I know she was before. But I know I can't look at things that way. If a girl is giving me a sign she likes me, I need to act on it right away, or else she'll just figure I'm not interested and she'll move on herself. I've fallen into that trap a lot in my past, and recently too.

Anyways, my goal for next week will be to do one of those busy hallway approaches where I'll just walk up alongside a girl and say hi. Sounds easy for most, but for whatever reason I'm scared shitless about doing it. lol fuck.

I'm fucked up that way. I have the confidence and balls to train in an MMA/muay thai gym and fight with 'scary' looking dudes covered in tattoos, but I'm scared shitless of a 105 pound girl. It's like I've said before, I have confidence for certain things, but I've always been more introverted and it's the social confidence where I've always been lacking.

Any advice other than just man the fuck up and go do it?


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 3:53 pm 
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I'm going to list a few things for me to keep in mind and that will help me in doing one of the busy hallway approaches that I mentioned in my last post. I've realized the importance of starting off strong and making a good initial impression. Most of my 'fear' in doing this new type of approach comes from appearing nervous and not confident, and then getting blown out because the girl may sense weakness.

In all my other approaches that I've done, I always try to start off well to set the pace for the rest of the interaction. I feel that if you begin by appearing nervous, unsure of yourself or just not coming across confidently, then the girl can sense that and may be much more likely to blow you off or give you a less than positive reaction.

probably 95% of my approaches to date are when the chick is sitting alone and pretty much nobody else is around or can directly hear what I say, and I'll open with something situational or some sort of directions-type of opener. I have found it so easy to open this way because there is much less risk of a harsh reaction or getting rudely blown off. So this will be something new for me to try.

My plan is to walk up alongside of a girl that I see and casually open her by just saying hi, how's it going, how's your day going, or something simple like that. Alternatively, I may just say hi, then immediately say something like 'looks like we're heading in the same direction so I thought I'd say hi. I'm VVC, what's your name?', or something similar.

So here are a few things that I should keep in mind as I approach a moving target in the hallway:

- have an idea of what I'll say beforehand so I can make the delivery as smooth as possible
- speak loud enough so that there is no chance that she won't hear me
- speak clearly, and slow it down and be relaxed
- look her in the eye, have a slight smirk/smile on my face and be as confident as I can
- be relaxed, casual, and don't be outcome dependent, just be happy with making the effort
- I need to keep in mind that with this style of approach, I have to be prepared for rejection or to be blown off
- don't get discouraged, keep trying

As long as I get a fairly positive reaction from the outset, then I'll likely ask her something basic like where she's headed now, if she's just finishing class/going to class, and something basic about school or what she's taking. If things go well, then it's not hard for me to keep a regular conversation going from there.

And if I do start to have a conversation, then I'll need to keep in mind all of the things I mentioned about flirting and showing intent that I spoke about in one of my recent posts.

Things to keep in mind once she 'hooks':

- eye contact (seductive - don't look at her or treat her like a buddy. Look at her lips)
- kino (shake her hand when you introduce yourself. An easy way to first break that touch barrier)
- intent (be honest, don't be afraid to tell her you stopped her because you think she's cute)
- voice (remember not to speak too quickly, slow it down a bit)
- set up the 'day 2', and get her number and plan when you'll next see her
- flirt a bit (have fun, don't be so serious or take yourself so seriously)

Like I said, I'll be quite nervous doing this, as this will take me out of my comfort zone. But I think that overall, it'll be a good thing, because this will open up a lot more opportunity for me as I won't have to always wait for situations where I see a girl alone. Doing it this way, the hallways will be busy and loud enough that nobody would even look twice at me or even notice that I walked alongside someone and said hi, I just have to bite the bullet and do it.

Well, win or lose, hopefully I'll be updating this journal sometime this week and have a report on the first few of my 'busy hallway approaches'.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:11 am 
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Good luck... and perhaps this is a bit of "tough love" but you are WAY over-thinking this.

You are going up to another human being and saying hello and then holding a conversation with them, nothing more, nothing less. I think you need to only focus on that and clear away everything else about eye contact and your relaxed attitude and what to do after she hooks.

Take it one step at a time. Walk and talk. That's it. Like you said, just bite the bullet and do it. That is the only barometer for success. If you can hang on and get into a good conversation or tell her she's cute or whatever, that's all just bonus.

Here's another thing you could do, and that I think really helped me contextualize a lot of "daygame" approaches. Just start talking to anyone in these situations, guys, old women, ugly girls, anyone. You will quickly realize that the "rejections" have nothing to do with you hitting on a girl - not interacting with strangers as we go about our daily lives is a sad, yet true, fact about how a large percentage of people live in the modern world, particularly in urban areas in the Western world.

I'm a fairly outgoing person and usually talk to people that are in my vicinity throughout the day. But today, I was stressed out about some stuff and pretty much ignored everyone around me, even a nice older man that tried to strike up a conversation. That's just the way it is.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 6:05 am 
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DB - yea man, sometimes I need a bit of a reality check. If left to my own devices, it wouldn't surprise me if I drafted up a two page strategy document on how to bend over and tie my fucking shoes. I do over-analyze things and tend to over-complicate things when it isn't necessary.

But just getting back in the habit of making an effort to talk to more people in general is definitely something that I'm going to try to focus on. Good points.




Update:

Today's update is being brought to you by the letter "C" and the number 0.

C is for choke, and perhaps also fittingly for chode. And zero is the number of approaches that I managed to do today.

I'm only on campus a couple of days a week this semester, I need to make them count. On the bright side, I met this 24yr old dude from this site, and he came to the school on Tuesday. He seems pretty cool, and we've made plans to meet up again so hopefully I'll have a few good stories to tell later.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:55 pm 
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Thursday

Just a quick update for Thursday. I made two approaches, and made a half-assed attempt at a moving target approach in the hallway.

I was sitting at these long tables and opened a girl commenting on her handwriting. We had a good conversation that lasted about 20 minutes or so off and on. She wasn't my preferred type, as I normally like petite slim girls but she was ok. She was young (18) but I initially thought she was probably in her early 20s. As the pua's would say, she 'qualified' herself to me by talking about how she's mature for her age and has friends in their 20s etc. I decided not to go for the number, so she ended up leaving and that was that.

A little while later I was sitting on these benches and opened another girl by asking about her tablet. It wasn't a long conversation, and she was just ok looking.

At the very end of the day, I made a comment to a moving target in the hallway, but I kind of bailed on continuing the conversation, as the hallway was really busy and we sort of got separated so I just left it and kept on walking.

Even though I didn't bother with any numbers today, I was just happy to exercise my 'social muscle' just to get back in the habit of talking to people and being a bit more outgoing. I've been in a bit of a rut for the last month or so and it felt good to do a few approaches again.

I wasn't at the campus today, but I'll be back at the school on Monday. I might end up going out over the weekend with that guy I met last week. We'll see.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 12:11 am 
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Well it's been awhile, time for an update.

The only real PUA thing to mention that's happened since my last entry is that I went away for a night at this resort with this Asian chick I met from online. This was awhile ago, in late November.

Other than that, I really haven't done much at the school to mention. I barely even count POF lays or even care much to document them, because my primary focus and intent for this journal was to practice day game and pick up a chick from the school.

I'm going to get back into it, so hopefully I'll have a few things to talk about shortly. I made a goal for myself that I want to meet and bang a chick from the school before this year is over (early April). I'm going to do my best to make it happen.

Tomorrow I have that 24yr old dude coming to the school and we're going to hang for a bit and see what happens.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:49 am 
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Wednesday January 15th

So the guy I mentioned yesterday came to the school for a couple of hours. He did a couple of approaches and came away with 2 numbers, so he did very well. One of them was when we were walking in a hallway, and he turned around and told a chick that she looked like a waitress at a restaurant he was at recently or something.

The next one was a girl selling something that approached both of us. She was pretty cute and he ended up asking for her number. Since I mostly do solo bench approaches up until now, I didn't do any approaches while he was there, but I found the day motivational and it pumped me up to get back into it.

Thursday January 16th

I made a couple of approaches today, and it felt good to be back into it and I noticed that it lifted my mood as well.

The first one was a 'warm up' approach, and it was just a directions opener to this chick that wasn't that great looking. I've never really believed in the warmup thing before, but I realized, at least for me, how important momentum is to get me moving.

If I've been there all day and haven't done an approach, then it's highly unlikely that I'll end up doing one at the end of the day. With me, and I'm sure for many people too, I need to do some form of an approach soon after I get there to get me 'in state', as the pua's sometimes say.

Anyways, my next directions approach was to this skinny, petite Indian chick that was on one of the benches. It was supposed to be a warmup, and I should have kept going, but I didn't continue past a sentence or two. I kicked myself as I walked away, because she was pretty hot.

I also briefly spoke to two guys in the library and one of the cashiers in the cafeteria. So I was really trying to make an effort to talk to more people in general and get some momentum going behind me.

My last approach of the day was the best one. There was a display of posters etc set up in this large open area and there's lots of people browsing up and down the aisles looking at them. I saw this cute chick that was by herself. I walked up casually beside her as I was making my way down the aisle and I said something like "so which one are you gonna buy?". She was nice and friendly and we talked for about 15-20 minutes. She was a petite, slim Slovackian chick, but unfortunately I found out she had a boyfriend. But we had a good conversation and after that it was time for me to leave and catch my bus outta there and head to the gym.

Like I've said before, if I could have a day like today everyday, then I'd be doing well. My problem is that I have to 'force' myself to be more social like I was today, it's definitely not something that I do naturally. I just need to be consistent, and that's always been the thing that's been a challenge. But, the important thing is that I know what to do, more or less, it's just motivating myself to keep at it.

Friday's are usually pretty slow at the school, but we'll see what happens tomorrow!


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 4:45 am 
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Monday

I did a few approaches today and had one really good conversation.

My first approach was just a 'warmup'. I noticed this fairly cute chick that was kind of tall, slim, with wavy long blonde hair sitting on a bench. I sat on the one beside her, and I just asked her if she knew where one of the admin buildings was. I started to talk to her a little bit, and she seemed quite friendly, but she ended up getting a call and I had to go to class, so that was about it with that one.

A little later, I was sitting on a bench and this guy I hadn't seen in awhile came up to me and started talking. I noticed that the chick beside me was in one of my classes, and it just so happened the guy was asking me about my prof, so I turned to her and asked something about him. This chick was just ok looking, but didn't really seem all that friendly. I didn't even try to continue talking, I just asked her something, made a comment or two, then turned and continued my conversation.

Like the other day, my last approach was the best one. I was walking in another section of campus and came upon this little lounge type of area. Near one of the corners sitting on a couch/chair thing was this tall, slim, cute Indian girl. I sat down on the chair beside her. After a minute or so I also asked her about the admin building. She was quite friendly and we talked for about 15 minutes. She had to go to class, so I left at the same time and told her I'd walk with her. I found out she had a boyfriend, and she actually seemed disappointed in the fact too and she said it's too bad because I seem really interesting etc. But, she also said that she's not 'that type', and again said it's too bad. I'm sure if I had asked I could have got her number, but that's probably something I shouldn't bother with. It's a big place, I should be able to find a single and available girl without a lot of extra drama. So anyways, a moment after that we came up to her door, so we just said nice meeting each other and said bye, that was about it.

I walked away feeling really good about the day, because I know that if I make the same sort of effort every day as I did today, then I can't help but get something going. I need to be consistent, and not just go in 'bursts' that last a week or two before something throws me off track.

But I do feel like I have some momentum behind me now, and I really like the idea of these warmup approaches very soon after I get there. Like I've said before, I'm starting to realize the benefit of doing warmups and having that overall momentum going behind me.

One other thing that I'll mention and it seemed to help me a lot. This might be something specific to me, but it had to do with the way I viewed 'pickup' or what I'm trying to do at the school. If I frame it to be just going to school and trying to be more social in general and talk to more people in general, then that seems to take a lot of the pressure off of me. If I wake up in the morning and go to school with the mindset "I must approach", then it seems to put more pressure on me rather than just going into the school with the mindset of being more social in general. I tend to over-analyze and over-think things if I go in with some big strategy, instead of just going in and be normal, but just a bit more social than I usually am. If I go in thinking just be social, then the approaches will just happen when the opportunities arise, instead of trying to 'force' it by walking around thinking "I have to approach". Anyways, for what it's worth, that seemed to put things into perspective a little for me when I looked at it that way.

General Thoughts

So in a nutshell, that's what I'm trying to do. I'm going to simply talk to more people in general and make an effort to be more social. After all, that's what I really want. That's my end goal. I want to be a dude that can and will talk to any chick, at any time in normal situations. I don't necessarily want to be a 'pick up artist' and set aside time to go out on 'sarges'. My personal goal, like I said, is to be just a more social, more confident, more balanced, and better version of me. And that's the version of me that I want to take to school everyday. And if that guy is walking around the school, then the rest just falls into place naturally.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:13 am 
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Tuesday & Wednesday

No phone numbers yet this week, but I did talk to a few people and made a couple of approaches but they didn't turn into anything.

I sat at these long tables yesterday across from this blonde chick that was eating. I hadn't seen what she was eating before, so I asked her where she got it from. We went back and forth for a few sentences, but I didn't try to continue and just let her eat. She finished a few minutes later and left. That one was really just a warmup. I'm trying to think if there was another one that went similarly, but I'm not sure.

I spent most of my free time at the school yesterday in this one area reading/studying, so I wasn't walking around quite as much as I normally am.

Today not long after I got there I was getting a tea in the cafeteria and I saw this really slim girl with long wavy brown hair and tight jeans getting in line with a coffee and muffin. I lined up behind her and spoke to her right away asking her if the muffins there are good compared to the other place that's nearby. She was mildly friendly and I said a few things to her and then she was next in line, so she paid for her stuff and was gone.

The only significance of that is that I talked to her in a situation where I normally wouldn't have previously. Like I've said a few times in this journal, most of my approaches are done on benches where it's fairly quiet and the girl is by herself. So doing what I did brought me slightly out of my comfort zone, which was good.

At the end of the day I was at the same long tables and asked this chick sitting in front of me if she was in a certain class. She had her headphones in and seemed a little startled and shy when she answered, so I didn't say too much to her and just left it alone. It was time for me to catch the bus a few minutes later, so that was it for the day.

General thoughts

Going in with the mindset to just be more social really seems to help me. I definitely do have some momentum going behind me, and opening the chicks that I've talked to so far has been easy. I really haven't hesitated or thought about it nearly as much as I normally would have.

Even that really hot one this morning was no big deal for me to talk to, so I really do feel like I'm on the verge of making some progress. I've been more social with a lot of people the last few days, but I've only mentioned the hotter chicks I've tried to talk to here in the journal. I've also been more social with a few chicks that work in the cafeteria and other places I go to around campus.

So I'm pretty happy with how things have gone this week, but I haven't got any good numbers or prospects on the go yet. We'll see what happens tomorrow and Friday.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:15 am 
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Monday

Nothing really significant happened last week on Thursday or Friday. I did talk to a few people and continued to make an effort to be more social. I didn't try for any numbers.

Today was a pretty good day. I made 2 approaches and got one number from this really cute, petite dark haired chick.

First approach:

Earlier in the day I saw this girl sitting alone at a 4 person area so I sat on one of the seats across from her. She had long wavy brown hair, glasses, and a nose ring. She was pretty cute, but she was a little big for my personal liking, but I was just being friendly with this one anyways. We talked for a minute or two, then I let things die out, and talked to her a bit again as I packed up and left. She was nice and friendly, and I'm sure if I had asked her I could have got her number, but unless I'm going to pursue it, I could care less about collecting numbers just for the sake of it.

The second approach was near the end of the day as I was waiting around for the express bus. I saw this really cute, thin, petite dark brown haired chick sitting by herself on these long circular benches, and there was a spot beside her so I went and sat down. I sat there long enough to put my bag down, get out a book and I opened her asking something about where an admin building was. If I can think of one, I'll use some sort of situational opener any day before I resort to directions, but as I've said before, I'd rather open by asking for directions, than not open at all.

Nevertheless, for me it's so easy to do it that way and it's also very easy for me to transition away from that very quickly as long as the girl seems receptive and friendly. So we talked for about 15 minutes, and I found out she's single and got out of a 3 year relationship a little while ago. She also asked me if I was single, and as we were talking about that, she was saying how it's nice to have somebody. So we talked a bit more, and I found out she's leaving for a 1 week vacation tomorrow, so I suggested we get together when she gets back. I gave her my phone to put her number in, and I sent her a text a bit later so she has mine. We talked for maybe 5 minutes more then I told her I had to go, then took off and went to the gym.

Good day overall, so I'm happy with the effort I made. Now I just have to keep going, as sometimes in the past as soon as I get one number or something that looks like it could be promising, I'll ease back and not bother approaching or trying as much. So I need to keep up the effort of being more social and hopefully if I keep doing it long enough, new habits will form.

I may never be a really extroverted person, but just being a little more social will be a huge help when it comes to getting to where I want to be.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 11:42 pm 
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Thursday

Not much happened Tuesday, but I did talk to one chick briefly, but it was more a 'warmup' and nothing much came out of it. I don't even remember if there was another one, but there was nothing significant that happened anyways.

Wednesday we had a snow storm, so I didn't go anywhere.

And today I met a chick on the bus. I see this girl sometimes on the bus in the morning, and we've smiled at each other before, but that's about it. She sat near me, and we made eye contact and I smiled and said hi.

We were on a double decker bus at the front, and I made some joke about how I hadn't sat up there before on these and hope this thing doesn't tip over, or something like that. She laughed and we talked for a minute or two, but we weren't sitting together, so I just let it die out once we got moving.

After we got to the school and got off the bus, I saw that she was behind me, so I waited for a second and held the door for her as she hurried up to the door to thank me. I walked with her from there to the main building and we just talked about basic school stuff. I got her name but didn't bother with the number as it seemed a bit rushed as we left. I see her fairly often on the bus, so it's no big deal, as I'll be seeing her again soon enogh.

I passed up an opportunity to open this really hot, slim petite brunette chick. I was walking in one of the hallways, and as soon as i turned a corner there she was. She had a kind of tight white top on, and tight blue jeans. She looked really nice. But it was one of those split second decisions that I had to make on the spot. So yeah, I hesitated, and in an instant I already walked by her, so I continued on my way. Like I've said before, those are the types of situations where I need to act. I can't let those ones pass me by. And that's especially true considering how I mostly look for opportunities like that, as opposed to stopping moving targets.

Anyways, it's been a good week so far overall, and even though Friday's are pretty slow, I'll see what happens tomorrow.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 6:01 pm 
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Friday

I should give a quick update for Friday. I did two approaches but didn't bother going for the number.

I sat down on a bench beside this chick and asked something about a course. She was really outgoing and friendly, and I talked to her for a couple of minutes. She was nice looking, but she was the type that wore a lot of makeup, and if it wasn't for that and her shirt that showed a lot of cleavage, she wouldn't stand out half as much as she did. Nevertheless, even though she was quite bubbly and friendly, I didn't get much of a vibe from her, and she seemed ready to put her earbuds back in at the first break of the conversation, so I told her I was going to go and that was about it.

The next one was right at the end of the day. This one was another chick that I've seen taking my bus before. I walked up near to where she was waiting, and when she slightly turned in my general direction, I said something like thank god it's Friday or something. It was all I could think of at the moment! Anyways, I talked to her for about 10 minutes until the bus came. She didn't look quite as good close up as I remembered, and with her boots with heels on she was probably an inch taller than I was. So the bus came, and we sat in different spots, and that was about it.


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