First of all I wish to make clear that this is not a personal attack on any of the people who happen to post on here, nor do I want to put down people wishing to make a positive improvement on their personal lives, which of course is what 'PUA' is all about. And I am thankful that PUA has led me to the overall setting of goals and encouraging myself to improve. It is telling that I have never been a dedicated poster to this forum as I think the last time I posted was probably two years ago.

However in truth I have found far more success in the old adage of 'just be yourself'. In truth I never liked stupid abbreviations such as 'AMOG', 'PUA', 'kino' and other such stupid weird shit. I am not and have never been part of a PUA community and furthermore would discourage anyone from participating in one either. The idea of creating groups of people based around picking up women, with little more in the way of personal interest to unite them seems sleazy and weird to me. Leave 'scenes' for 'real' artists, musicians, writers and the like, not for just picking up women. In my experience I have found many people who get into this too fervently and have this as their lives compromise everything that likely naturally made them attractive to the opposite sex in the first place - I know my painting and drawing suffered due to overt obsession with the subject, as did my university work. Inside the stuff made me feel empty, and made me geeky and over analytic about every interaction when I should have been there just enjoying the moment.

Here's my opinion -if you just tease a girl a little in a way that doesn't put her down or make her feel small ('negging' often comes across as closer to bullying than teasing going by some of the stuff I remember people posting), being able to relate to her and take an interest in her passion, look into her eyes when she talks to you and make a real connection, you'll get the girls that you want. And rather than using techniques, what has worked for me is this 'line': "Are you single? I like you and want to take you out sometime"

I'd suggest to you all that you read Alan Roger Currie's 'Mode One' and watch a movie called 'Vicky Christina Barcelona' - the reason why the artist in that movie got women in a flutter in the wider world was not just his direct approach, but also the fact that his very life was centered around the expression of passion and that his life's meaning is driven by it. Rediscover what you're passionate about and indulge yourself in that, and be curious about the girls you like and let them discuss their passions without belittling for it with your pathetic 'negs'. See women as your equal and not something you have to put down in order to appear 'alpha'.

Lately one of my friends has been the victim of a so called 'pick up artist' - it seems that it can be a way of performing as a person who isn't you, rather than embracing who YOU are, and being who you are. Don't put on a front in a club or while daygaming (I don't go to clubs myself) - show a girl who you are and accept that if she likes you she will say "Yes" to your proposal of a date (or will make out with you) and if she doesn't, she will say "No". Don't bullshit women, and don't be something you're not - its not fair on you, nor is it fair on her.

You're condoning the use of natural game and direct game, which are still part of the pickup artist literature.

Mode One is a well-known part of the PUA literature.

You're putting down indirect game and mainstream Mystery Method stuff and calling that pickup. You're just getting your terms confused.

Sorry, you're still a PUA.

lol

It seems like youre saying we force these ideas onto people, teach them not to be themselves. This is not the case.

all these routines and canned material if just meant to be there to help people get on the road to becoming themselves. ill use myself as an example:

i used canned material, routines, time constraints whatever. I realised that the girls are responding not to me, but whatever PUA i took the material from which made me uncomfortable. So i started creating my own routines because by now i knew what girls would respond to. then i started making routines on the spot eventually and before you know it i was just saying whatever i wanted, just being myself and being attractive.

Humans are smart, every single one of us. We cant be brainwashed into doing something that just isnt ourselves forever. Everyone finds out their own way eventually.

So i believe all these canned stuff is just there to help understand the female mind, what makes them laugh, love, cry. Because we dont want to be alone. Then after we know that, we can change ourselves and become the source of laughter, love, and tears.

i use all f the PUA lingo, because i respect the people on here. All the times ive been rejected on my journey, these people have been there to keep me going. Using the PUA terms is just another way to bond with the new family ive created online and in my city.

True there is plenty of stuff that has helped, and I have the utmost respect for the staff as daygame.com and the likes of Sasha and David Wygant, simply because what they promote is something more natural.

'Mode One' as PUA literature? Hmm, I'd say the case is that the writings of Alan Roger Currie have been adopted by people who involve themselves within PUA rather than it being intentional on the authors part (being that he wasn't even aware of the 'scene' until he was contacted by it). I agree with his criticisms too that PUA is based more on manipulating a woman into bed in many cases rather than being a genuine and honest human being. I am not going to put down being direct, and I am not certain that at any point I have. However I will absolutely put down Mystery Method.

And now I am not a PUA - I choose who I am, not you nor anyone else on this forum or in the world. Like any other human I am not someone who can be categorised in the simple way that 'PUA's' like to with people. However, yes I have got some good advice from some of the literature but I think there is also a lot of very bad advice out there too.

I respect what you said 'Feather, but at the end of the day you still are part of some scene based around picking up women - I'd sooner be in a group of people whose only purpose is to be better people in general. I found the likes of Rom Wills and Alan Roger Currie who speak more about just projecting confidence and having internal integrity to have been of far more use to me lately. PUA seems to be centered around making sure you don't get rejected, rather than accepting that rejection is natural and you cannot have any woman, which from what I've seen is part of the PUA propaganda.

The meaning of PUA-ism is a matter of perspective. Doesn't matter how you do it but if you can then it is an 'art' in its own right, we see it happening every Sat night and there is nothing 'special' about these guys who can pull it off as nothing ever happens by chance... As for being yourself that doesn't get the girl you want, only the girl that chooses you. A true PUA (or 'player' to use a more appropriate old skool term) on the other hand doesn't need approval or validation from women; he (like many women do very well) just does whatever it takes to get the girls he wants or doesn't really want for various reasons (sex, love, fun or company etc.). By the end of the day, a dedicated PUA does in fact do better whether he is a natural or not than the 'nice guy' being himself and who thinks is 'special'. That is why I love learning from hot women... In this day and age, PUA culture helps make determined men sexually 'equal' with these kind of 7-8 plus women. Unfortunately, there is no room for nice guys (which there are far more than in the past) or room for 7-8 plus nice girls (which there are far less than in the past) if you wanna get laid plain and simple. The advantage of a PUA as an artist and social scientist is that it allows him (or her) to cheat their way to social success and if it helps them to get that girl/guy I see nothing 'wrong' with that. The reason I think why PUA is gaining popularity among many men is because 7-8 plus women don't need it, men do. Despite still being a man's world (as feminists would explain clearly) modern society has given women that sexual power of choice, whereas all men not just AFC's need to 'play' harder to win (compare gender relations with say the 1900s). In a way then PUAs are merely reclaiming their sexual power; whether it is used for good or 'bad' ends that is another matter.

If you are happy 'quitting' being a PUA then that is great. But remember this, the 'game' of relationships is for life.. it is only a matter of perspective what kind of chemistry you wish to manage successfully. And only a matter of perspective how you see yourself and your next 'target.'

Cheers,

Rico.

In general: don`t be a hater.

A community is something bigger than acronysms, methods and tricks. You might have reached a point were you feel secure with your method of going around things, but you are leaving so much behind.

Pick up methods have improved over time, what we call negs are not that important anymore. And that`s progress, that`s a natural way of evolving in these arts.

There are plenty pua`s out there who claim tons of ridiculous stuff, still I respect em for trying it out and helping the community evolve.

Hey honestly this is really just your opinion at the end of the day as well. PUA in my mind isn't even about picking up women honestly from what has happened to me. PUA is really just self improvement to make your self better such as confident, organized, and priotize your life in a correctly matter. The women is kinda like what you get out of it when you gain these attributes cause they respond very positively toward it. For the most part i've changed drastically i'm much more confident and a little more serous than i was before. I lost a little of my inner child but gained my much greater character. I wouldn't change this at all honeslty and i'm happy with my change. And i agree with Feather on this one. I don't read mystery at all really to much lines and crap that isn't how am like pick up lines never used one. I just listen to RSD and Kezia Noble they tell what you can do improve yourself and find what women are attracted too. It's all natural for me atleast

If that is what you feel PUA is, then don't call it PUA - why ascribe a name to it? Why not just say you are taking the path to all round self improvement.

That performance 'Neil Strauss' style pickup is a thing of the past and has been for awhile. He even stated towards the end of his book that they all became 'social robots' lol

You can play the game, be natural and be yourself without having to perform like the monkey but you still have to put in some work i.e. techniques and some humour by enjoying the interaction and her company imo

You dont get very far if you take the lazy approach, ive learnt this like every other guy the hard way. You give up, pretend that you are not interested to try and play hard to get. You avoid any opportunity to approach just to keep yourself safe from rejection. Withdrawal symptoms and recovery working its magic.

Inner game techniques such as grounding yourself and not becoming reactive to her presence also some physical contact and being assertive are key and you dont get very far by not communicating sexually and acting like they are the most innocent things on the planet. Because thats the type of mindset you dip in and out of after regularly getting kicked in the bollocks by rejection over and over again which makes you, yet again, wake up and decide to take some control lol

Quiting is the defeatists mindset. Pickup is one of the hardest things to learn but what else are you going do if you dont do it? sit on your ass and wait for it to happen because the spiritualists tell you there is someone out there for everybody? paha

Id rather keep plugging away and trying new and interesting ways into moulding myself into a fully open, masculine guy.

All techniques and theories in the PUA community are isolated successful behaviors of naturals. As long as one only sees them as such (as techniques) they will never be really successful. You need to see the whole picture, the context in which the behavior is successful, internalize it and make it a part of you personality. You will then become a natural and can be, as you say, yourself.

I think most people can agree that calling yourself a PUA, at least in front of a girl, is a DLV. The term as I see it has two interpretations, and people will automatically think of the negative one. It can either be someone trying to improve and become a better person, or someone who is insecure and just trying to manipulate his way to sex (as if manipulation cannot be a positive thing, which it indeed can as long as everyone is happy).

The fact of the matter is this - if you can attract friends you can probably attract girls. If people want to be your friend then there are girls out there who will probably want to be your girlfriend.

The other problem I have is this - it always perpetuates there is something wrong - new technique after new technique - it can swallow you up. It has reached that point where I no longer want it in my life. I applaud what it has done for me, but have decided to unsubscribe to blogs, facebook and YouTube pages as well as not reading articles.

As of this post, I will cease to pay attention to this forum too.

Thank you for listening.

Good Bye.

But doesn't this push you into the friendzone? Sure if you can attract friends you are a sociable guy but that doesn't make you a masculine, sexually attractive guy. There's a huge opposite difference between being a nice guy and a genuine guy.

Don't give up man your only kidding yourself to thinking it will just happen and fall onto your lap but it doesn't, I came to this conclusion at the beginning of my second year at uni. I am coming upto 30 years of age this year and have gone through that pattern of thinking since I was 25 years old when I realised I wasn't getting what I was getting during my late teens/early 20s

It simply doesn't just happen, and learning to be a man doesn't just happen, you have to regularly condition yourself whilst still retaining positive core values which are buried beneath the dust somewhere.

You'd imagine the dude will do alright because he has a strong frame, and anyone who has that probably doesn't need this community. But did he have that before he discovered it?

Almost everyone will reach this point where they have this "epiphany" that they don't need this stuff, and perhaps realise that it was wrong all along. But it will always be at the point where they have already digested the important lessons and are experiencing success without having to think about it consciously.

Noone comes to the community unhappy, frustrated and not getting laid and then leaves part way through the process for reasons of taste or morality. People suddenly discover these things once they have learnt the lessons, have reformed their characters and are now socially and sexually successful. A very convenient time to realise that this PUA stuff is all nonsense.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Is "Mode One" that pathetic system that suggests doing things like going up to a random girl and saying you think she is hot and want to have sex with her? Direct game is one thing, but mode one is fucking retarded, not to mention, borderline illegal in some contexts. And, to trying to learn from hollywood? LOL.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Mode one is part of the community, and imo very ineffective method... try 60yoc or Mark Manson models better, if you want more effective direct methods. Community there is tons of good and tons of crap, best thing to do is to field test, see what works and what is congruent with you and your personality.

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