Buddy of mine and I were out last night and one thing he mentioned to be was that I send off a signal (look, attitude, aura) of being relationship material; one who would make a better husband than hookup/PU.

I can even think of how to search for this here so pardon me if this question has been asked.

Was married, I guess still look 'married' I dunno. Question (are):

1) What are some of the signals anyone would put out that would say "relationship material"?
* Dress?
* Physical look?
* Tone of voice/Conversation
* Presence?
2) What can one do to counter that aura?

Keep it in mind, I've learned a LOT about approaching, talking to, tone of voice, attitude, presence and thought I'm def no pro, I'm working it.

To make clear, when I meet a woman, I DO NOT talk about my past or my past marital status (I am separated, file for divorce, soon to be a done deal). Shit, I don't really talk about myself much and if so, definitely NOT in a negative way. I look nice, but I don't think I wear anything that screams "the ex bought this for me". In fact, I'm trying to look a lot less domesticated, yet sharp. When I approach women, I usually flirt with _them_ and don't really hold back as if I were scared (hesitant as if I were guilty of cheating). I'm over that thought. I'm kind of a gentle smart-ass; sorta sarcastic but def not abusive or offensive. OF course this is how _I_ see myself and not the [woman]. And keep it in mind that I'm not asking how to deceive a woman.

Any thoughts?

_________________
Thanks,

WGY

"Do you have some good openers for Chinese girls?"
"They usually don't need an opener. Most of them are the pull-tab kind."

Don't GAF, just DGAF (think about it)

Fear is the mind killer. Anger is the mood killer.

Hey man, here's my two cents on the matter...
Players dress ten times more attractive than married/in a relationship people. That's a fact. When you're out looking to get laid on a daily basis you develop a sense of style that most married guys lack. Think business attire where player types wear fitted suits and married guys wear $100 ready to wear suits. Think smart casual wear and the difference between the fitting clothes in bold colours with interesting accessories a player would wear versus dad jeans and sneakers worn with a t-shirt two sizes larger than you are. A player's clothes make his body look good and draw attention to it. A married guy's clothes cover his body, period. Read some magazines like GQ and look around for what successful men wear. Copy their style until you develop your own. Invest in clothes and accessories.
Same thoughts go to physical look: players invest in their look while married guys let themselves go. Join a gym, lose weight and put on some muscle. Get a tan. Get a $100 haircut. Get a manicure and tweeze your eyebrows. Do all those things a married guy doesn't have the time and/or money to do. Lose any friends that criticise you for doing it, they are just being jealous. If they say you look gay, you hit the jackpot. Women like men that take good care of their bodies.
Players are confident as they have spent an inordinate amount of time among women they didn't know. Being married you lose touch with the act of approaching women and maintaining a conversation. Spending too much time with the same woman makes your mind slow. Get back on the horse and practice. Talk to every woman you meet. Be flirty and fun. No heavy topics, just casual conversation and smiles. Get ready for some serious shit tests. Player types are not in the habit of pleasing women. I was listening in on two ladies from my office discuss guys from the same office, one of them commented "That guy... the only thing I can imagine him doing well is carrying grocery bags". Don't be the grocery bag guy. Be the guy they want to have the hot ONS with...
Players feel at home in "target rich environments". Married guys don't. Get a good body language book, read it and apply what you learned. Be sociable and move around. Behave like you own the place and everybody present is your guest.
Make a realistic assessment of where you stand on the player/AFC scale and come up with an improvement plan. Join the gym, groom yourself and go on a (few) shopping spree(s). Trade in the station wagon for a convertible two seater. Don't be a lone wolf, hang out with single guys, you can both learn from them and have somebody to go out with. Change your lifestyle to reflect the player image.
The best example of the player/married dichotomy I can think of is the TV series Nip/Tuck. Be more of a Christian Troy and less of a Sean McNamara. Enjoy watching (if you haven't done that already) and good luck with your transformation.

One more thing about how to dress... Grab a copy of Brad P's Fashion Bible, has some interesting tips and tricks about styling up...

When I was married, my ex-wife's girlie friends from college said that I looked like a player. When I asked my ex-wife why does her female college friends think so, she said her friends told her it's the way I walked.

When I chanced into a female high school classmate a couple of weeks back, she said the same thing. Honestly, I don't know how a player "walks."

I guess you'll have to observe some ladies' men in your place and figure out how they walk and then adapt.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

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