I say relationship but it was just three months. Sorry this is a long post. I tried to keep it as brief as possible:

Date 2: She tells me she never experience such comfort and chemistry with anyone before. I felt the same.

Date 3: She wants me to meet her parents of Christmas. I tell her I'd like her to meet my parents.

Texting - maybe once a day and a phone call at night. In hindsight I wish I kept the contact down.

Dating - In general we're seeing each other once or twice a week because she lives 45 minutes out of town and has a different work schedule. Lots of talk about how happy we make each other. Plenty of "I miss you's". She calls me amor, baby, etc all the time and is crazy affectionate every time we're together. From my perspective she was a perfect girl.

Past relationships - she does tell me that she was in an abusive marriage (emotionally). Her sister believes she needs counseling. More on this later.

6 week mark - We decided to have some drinks at home. She is in the mood to get a bit drunk. We split a bottle of wine and then have some mixed drinks. We're both pretty drunk at this point. I'm 6'3", 200 lbs but a light weight. We talk for hours and open up about a lot of personal stuff. We have sloppy sex and pass out.

Next day - she wakes up freaking out - we had sex without a condom and she is in the middle of her cycle. I tell her not to worry I didn't cum inside her. I made a joke about how my neck her from going down on her too long because she couldn't finish. She is visibly stressed. I'm confused. She is super hungover and needs to run to work. She calls me a few hours later and asks how I can be so nonchalant. She can't believe we had sex without a condom. She said she had blacked out and didn't remember half the night and woke up with cum on her tit/face (wish I tried to clean up but she was drunk and wanted me to go down on her!). When we were drunk we talked about going without a condom and she was ok with it but she doesn't remember.

Four days later - things have been a bit different. I tell her I'm sorry the night happened. We were both drunk, etc. She says she feels weird about it and says a gentleman would not have slept with a drunk girl. I had no clue she was so drunk. We had good convo for hours and I was toast. I'm shattered because this amazing girl I can see myself with is implying I may be a predator - this is far from the type of guy I am. It's devastating to hear.

One week later - she says we're going too fast. She thinks we can have something amazing but we'll ruin it if we do too much too fast. I'm cool and tell her lets slow it down. I let her initiate texts (every two or three days). She starts telling me she misses me, calling me amor, etc.

Another few weeks pass - On Christmas she gives me a bunch of stuff. Tell me how should wants to buy me more stuff when she has more money. She says she likes our new arrangement (slightly less contact, she is sleeps over once per week). We were suppose to visit her parents but she can't get off work. (I already met her mom and dad a few weeks ago. they loved me. dad told her not to 'screw it up'... maybe referring to other past relationships). She insists I go out of town and take advantage of my vacation days. She does not want me to stay in town for her with nothing to do when she is at work. I decided to go 12 days out of the country.

When I'm gone - still she writes she misses me. Toward the end of the trip I tell her I'm back on the 8th. She says she has friends visiting the 9 to 11 implying she won't be able to see me. I'm a bit annoyed - thought she would be pumped to see me. She was very vague about the friends and said she may stay at their hotel if she is tipsy (just three miles from my place). I sense she is setting a trap / wanting to start a fight... I take the bait. I ask her about her friends. It's a guy she has been friends with for three years. They see each other once a year when he visits town for a conference. His guy friend will be joining. I ask: you're sharing a hotel room with two guys? She said of course not he is a gentleman and will pay for her own room. I'm annoyed because she is not giving much background. I politely tell her that when people date you should provide more background rather than be vague and keep a person guessing. She snaps and says we want different things and basically goes straight to break up. She says she can't have someone checking up on every move she makes. I give this girl so much space. I'm not needy, controlling, anything. This is the first time I asked about any details because usually she volunteers everything to include me in her life. She also says: you can on vacation for two weeks and expect me to work around your schedule the second I'm back? I push her a bit more and she says I'm not the guy for her. Her heart is no longer into it. I've never felt so blindsided. I feel tricked, betrayed, and devastated. I had not been this excited about a girl for 10 years.

I flew back to the US. A few days later she text me asking if she can stop by to pick up her stuff (its like $25 worth). I tell her I'm not around but I'll ship it to her. I was brief/cold with no further discussion. I just didn't want to see her or adhere to her schedule. That was today.

More background on her - She was married for three years but divorced three years ago. She has not had a meaningful relationship since but dated a lot. She told her husband did not let her leave the house by herself because he was so jealous/controlling. Her husband 'accidentally' hit her in the face once and broke her nose. And she had a miscarriage which he blamed her for. She miscarried because they fought so much. So there is clearly some baggage here.

Still I feel the drunk sex night destroyed our relationship. I feel it planted a seed of doubt in her head. After that she was looking for flaws. Do you agree? Did I fuck this all up with the drunk sex? Am I that big an ass for letting it happen? I'm beating myself up and on an emotional roller coaster. Is there anything to do to salvage this relationship? I'm not sure I even want to salvage it after someone tells me so many things, has me meet their parents, and then breaks up over nothing. I would appreciate any feedback guys. Thanks so much.

You were both drunk when you had sex right? You're not a predator or a rapist but you have to handle it sensitively, I don't think you did anything wrong but it was ok to apologise for a lapse in responsibility.

On the whole, I think you should go No Contact on this girl and forget about her, she is not good news. Sounds like she is trying to turn everything against you and cause needless drama, next her and move on.

Oh, and don't believe her BS about her guy "friends" paying for her own room. That is 100% gold plated bullshit. You can just smell it right? I am not a jealous or controlling person either and I would NOT be cool with that. You had every right to make the inquiries you did and every right to dump her ass over that. My ex wanted to stay at a guy friends house, I wasn't cool with it, she dumped me, they're now together. Go figure.

The fact she jumped straight to "OMG this is too much I am dumping you" confirms it. She was probably trying to trigger a fight to give her a reason to break up because she is going to ride this dude's dick, sorry to say that. Never think "I know she wouldn't do that, she isn't like that" because you would be amazed my friend...

She was disrespecting your relationship and blatantly lying about the hotel situation. Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

As a general rule, I think you should ALWAYS be wary of a girl who seems too into you early on. Would love to hear what other guys think about this point.

That's great, honest feedback. Thanks for taking the time to read the (long) post and respond. We were both shit-faced drunk. It just happened. I had no clue she was black-out drunk. To me she acted the same as she was last weekend when she had three glass of wine at dinner. We had sex then and no issue. I just think the fact that she blacked out planted a seed of doubt about me and it was the end. She was not as affectionate afterward. Her behavior changed. The whole friends visiting thing was just the last straw.

I'm sure there was something romantic with this guy at some point. They met at a conference three years ago and now keep in touch as 'friends'. She is a smoking hot chick (ex-Hawaiian Tropic model). Every dude who meets her is doing whatever he can to close. And I'm pretty sure she visited him in Europe once. I've met two girls at conferences who I keep in touch with. I banged both chicks at the conferences and continued to do so every year I saw them. One turned out to be married. If there was nothing to hide she would have invited me for a drink to meet this friend.

I'd also like to hear what guys think about girls falling too fast. Is it a big red flag and why? I made a big mistake here by going with the flow. I should have controlled the tempo. I also think the fact that her mom and sister have been trying to get her into counseling is an obvious red flag. There may be a lot more to this abusive relationship that she had not shared.

Sounds like you had some good time and now is the time to move on. No point of analyzing anything because you didn't do anything wrong. Fuck knows what is going on in her head, sounds like she is crazy anyway.

Even if she tries to get you back (which I am sure will happen if you played cool when she dumped you and didn't show that you care) I wouldn't take her back if I were you because seems like she is just playing some fucked up mind games (all the bullshit with the hotel friends and dumping you straight away).

Anyway best of luck for you mate!

Awesome thanks dude. If I ruined the attraction by banging her drunk; she ruined the attraction for me by being so fickle and breaking up over nothing. Tough to trust a girl like that again. I played the break up cool and have been no contact since. Thanks again.

I disagree Rough Operator...your advice is just plain terrible.

Kidding...Rough Operator basically hit the nail on the head.

Yeah, the falling too fast was a red flag. Date 2 and 3 are wayyy too fast. When you date these kinda chicks, remember that as fast as they fall for you, things can burn out and change faster.

Also, her dad telling her not to mess it up, says she has problems. Likewise the mom and sister wanting her counseling.

Don't feel bad about the drunk sex.

She probably is one of those crazy chicks, fell for you, and now falling for the other guy's dick.

Do NOT go back to her. Delete block and move on. A woman like this will just pull this shit over and over whenever some new guy comes along.

All sage advice. I knew she bounced around from guy to guy but thought this would be different (I know dumb) because I was only the second guy she ever introduced to her parents. She's 32. But yeah this girl is bad news. I'm seeing this more clearly now thanks to your feedback.

I agree with Rough Operator.. he definitely hit the nail.

and please do me a favor.. don't feel bad about drunken sex, it was just a reason to provoke a conflict. It seems that you react to that night more than the hotel thing with some guys... I would do the opposite

Yeah you're right. I've told two friends about the hotel thing and their jaws drop.

He put it perfectly. This chick was looking for a way out of this relationship so she turned nothing into something.

It's not a problem having drunken sex. However the problem is that she thinks that she made a mistake but can't accept it and she tries to blame you. You said sorry for your part which is cool, but she didn't.
She says she can't remember. You really believe this ?
Either way she sounds very immature to me. Any time I hear a girl say "Slow down do not ruin things" is completely fine, however then she shouldn't expect you to want to be exclusive.

This is why you shouldn't date damaged women. I mean, she came out of an abusive marriage and psychologically probably doesn't want to be attached to a man again so he can hurt her. Doesn't mean she's a bad person, she's just messed up and has issues.

On one note I have to tell that there is mixed evidence about the effectiveness of just not cumming inside her. A few studies suggest that precum is free of sperm, but many others reached the exact opposite conclusion. So objectively speaking it's not at all sure that she's safe from getting pregnant just because you didn't cum inside her if you didn't have a condom on. That's the understandable part, and something to keep in mind for you later on to not make a mistake like this again.

On the other hand I agree with the other posters. No way to put up with her shit. Next.

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Yeah, I could see her being freaked out that she may get pregnant but there's the morning after pill so if she was really worried she'd just take it. Yeah, this chick is just nuts.

I agree she has a lot of issues. It was a hell of a roller coaster. I'm not sure its easy to find a 32 year old bikini model who has her head on straight. Maybe they're better for fun and not love. Thanks for the advice guys.