Ive read a book called how to be the alpha male and i often feel self conscious about myself when i try to act it out. How do you guys manage it?

Acting out is the worst thing you can do. It's like a drug you get addicted to. Just to help you understand here is the process that happens when you try to act out like an alpha, you act out>receive attention>feel good>get addicted to this attention. But what happens when you don't get attention here is what happens, you act out>don't receive attention>feel bad(become self conscious) because your addicted to attention and not receiving it. The reason this happens is because your looking for validation from external sources. However when you stop seeking validation from external sources but rather from inner sources (yourself) you will slowly start to feel less self conscious and will be a real alpha male.

_________________
"Experience is the teacher of all things"

I agree with what you say. Here is what happens with me, I often try to act out the part, but in the end I feel as though I have nothing going for me, so I feel like I dont deserve or to better put it im not worthy of being an alpha male. I end up being a follower which i hate. I feel I need to qualify myself to give it this assurance that I am indeed an alpha male. Such as be a pickup artist, be very popular, know alot of people, have influence over people. None of which I actually have you see. And for one thing I fear rejection like I fear a stray bullet, I know I have to get over it but im really suffering because i need motivation, a good wingman for instance or a mentor to help me through. So how do you think I can get over this need to prove myself to myself?

Thanks for ur previous answer helped alot

if you can get the body language and voice tonality perfect. then people will not even know that your self concious and you wont have to worry about that. but if u want to be an alpha male. you have to gain social value and stop caring about what people think. if your self concious that means that others have the power to put you down. the only person who can put you down should be you. others are below you and cannot harm you or put you down. you get into state from within. and when i say that the others are below you, dont take that the wrong way. you still need to be kind to your friends and take care of them.

How do you recommend I gain social value?
Context: I just moved to Montreal a month ago, my university is pretty big, people are in their own groups, many beautiful women. People are friendly overall.

You just gain friends one by one, and hangout with them and get to know their friends. There's a book by sale Carnegie called how to win friends and influence people that helped me a lot. U should check it out.

You can't act like the alpha male. There is only one alpha male and in your subconsciousness you know that you aren't that guy. There is a lot, a LOT of bullshit regardin what a human alpha male is. But that status is relative in human society. The alpha male is the one who eats first. He chooses what he wants and the others are forced to choose from the leftovers.

The alpha male is a high status man he is attractive by nature, he probably doesn't even know how to seduce a woman because all the traits he posses do that for him. If an alfa male loose his status he probably won't be capable of getting women again (since he was dependent of his high status to do this)

I listen to an audio tape (which I won't mention in order to not deviate the topic) wich stated a method to seduce women by a high status male rockstar, "the mick jagger method":

If you ask mick jagger how to get a girl, he would probably answer:
1- Walk into a room full of people
2- Talk with the guys a little
3- Some beautiful girl will come to talk
4- Get the girl

He probably does that and it probably works, for him. Let me ask you something, would you want to learn from a guy like him? you probably end up learning nothing. If you want to go that path I would recommend one and only one master of direct game, David X. All the rest, "stealth smoke social jujitsu bombs of seduction", "become a natural alpha male and steal girls from george clooney and brad pitt in seven days" are marketed products that, in my humble opinion, are stealing money from a lot of desperate men.

The seducer, on the other hand, is a man who knows what triggers to push in order to get a woman. He can have a high status or not. But he knows what women want. He knows how to speak to them. The seducer it's not the alpha male (sometimes he is), but it's generally choosed by a lot of women (even over the alpha male) because he deeply understand them and he knows how to give pleasure in the way they wanted to feel it. Lots of scammers selling natural game or alpha male products (wich in your case you are safe, if you are reading how to become an alpha male by john alexander is a good book. And it helped me in some apects) are really nor seducers neither naturals.

Conclusion,
Learn to seduce first (I'm not talking about mystery method or canned material. As other user stated, voice tonality and body language are very good places to start), and to understand women. With time you will be building alpha traits that will come with the preselection and the social proof you will be gaining. If you start by trying to be the alpha you can not be congruent and that will be noticed.
That was my experience, and that's how I failed. Why ? because the kind of confidence an alpha male has won't be within you magically just because you say you are confident. Listen to women, understanding them, deeply comprehend what they want and desire will get you further in becoming an alpha male than reading how to become alpha books. Naturals and alphas don't know this stuff because they are naturals and alphas. They don't need to. But you do because you are not a natural neither an alpha.

I hope I made sense. I spent a lot of time trying to develop alpha traits and forget to learn about women. 99% of alpha traits you will read in posts or books are bullshit. I've read post in wich you don't know if they are describing an alpha male or a Templar Knight.

I,m glad my post helped. so you asked "So how do you think I can get over this need to prove myself to myself?". There are few things you should do.
1) Get a wingman. I know many people here will say that's so newbie or stuff or that's not alpha, don't listen. Get a wingman for the begging someone who is on your level and will push you and you will push him to the limit. When you're with wingman that motivates you and pushes you you will not think of how to prove yourself to yourself.
2) Accept the idea that even if you fail in everything you possibly can you will still be happy. It seems deep but heed carefully. Imagine the doctor comes to you and tells you something along these lines "we have found some disease in you and you have a month to live and we are 100% sure". How would you feel after? If you ask people in who are in this position they'll tell you that they obviously feel terrible but also feel free from outcome. For the next month they will not think ever if they're god enough, they will not think of what other people think of them, and they will not try to prove themselves to themselves. Basically, live life like it's your last day.

_________________
"Experience is the teacher of all things"

In response to Schemer:
I agree with your initial idea that some people are born to lead with a variety of personality traits that covey them as the alpha males. however going back to the mcJagger example I have to disagree. Mcjagger only has this ironclad confidence due to his status as a rockstar, if Mcjagger was something less exciting like an accountant or a teacher or whatever, i doubt he would have even a quarter of the confidence he possesses as a rockstar. I mean when youre a rockstar you can pick out girls to lay just like that. so when it comes to approaching and picking up, im sure mcjagger couldnt giv less of a shit if it works out or not because he already has so much confidence that he can get any other girl and this in turn makes him actually appear super confident and succeed with any girl, see what i mean? Some of us arent that lucky to be rockstars or celebrities and so we have to manually inject the concept of alphamales into ourselves.
In response to AmazingArt:
I totally agree with you, but it takes alot to actually act out living as if its your last day, need alot of brain power for that lol. I believe though having a good social life and good friends will keep you confident throughout your day and will definitely come in handy when trying to approach women. to put it in perspective a nerd who stays home would not be nearly as confident as a guy who has alot of friends. It starts way before the pickup, you should get your life in check, make friends and have somthing going for yourself. but the questions is how lol

If what I said with different words. A man like this acquired tons of confidence because he already fucked 10000 women. That's why I complain against about some natural game promoters/writers. Most of them aren't even good with women and they pick up with the status they gaining with the money we are paying. That's why I recommended to learn how to seduce and understand women even more. Alpha traits will develop naturally with time and with backed with good results. It's naive to inject the idea that you are the alpha when the world and your context are telling you the opposite. The alpha is a powerful concept. I tried to do what you are doing know and I failed. I don't want to dissapoint you but you don't gain alpha status while thinking and believing you are an alpha. The idea of a "mick jagger method" it's a joke, he can't teach you nothing. A high status man doesnt need to be good with women in order to fuck them. I will repeat,

"""A high status man doesn't need to be good with women in order to fuck them"""

I know, I know. You are thinking, a high status man has confidence and that confidence makes him good with women. Bullshit, one of my best friends has a social shyness to the point he can't ask for a coffee to a waitress. He has high status due to sports achievements and family business. Everybody knows who he is and women approach him! Is he with lots of women because he is confident ? no he fucks lots of women because he is high status. If you or me would try to emulate him we will fail miserably.

So, inject to yourself all the alpha traits you want. Just let me give you my advice, it won't help much.

This is so true! I been studying a product put together by Jason Capital that says lot what you are saying. If I may I would like to share my experience with pre-selection at work.

I am a programmer at work, but my fellow teammate programmers are located elsewhere in the United States than I. I am remotely managed. So I sit among a group queue workers of few male AFC's, housewives who contribute to the their household but really don't want to be there, and another handful of motivated women who there to build professional skills, in a call center environment. I am misplaced of sorts among lower value status individuals. I sit in a cube designated for upper-management and basically earned it by tenor. It makes midlevel managers jealous.... . This in itself gives me higher status among everyone there. However the key to it all is your frame, your body language and how you communicate.

I dominate my workspace. When the group first arrived I my area, I was already there bunkered in. The big question on everyone's who is this guy that sits there and what does he do. At first the women were stand offish. You pass by them, smile and you get cold response or that glare stare and they walk on by you as if you did not exist. However I slowly but surely started one woman at time and built of up rapport. When I did that preselection automatically followed. The next day I would continue again with same woman good rapport, laugh, flirt and make it look she is having a great time... preselection again... Boom! Two weeks of this I had about 60% of the women goo-goo-gaa-gaa over me. Another 2 weeks the defenses of some of the hardliners come down and I had 80% of the women goo-goo-gaa-gaa. So every time I would go up to these women and flirt I am dropping preselection grenades setting off blast radiuses and nuking the whole work area.

What's going on is that when women see you successfully interacting with other women and it appears you are not the AFC they thought you were then they start wanting want the other women are getting from you. Its contagious and it really fascinating to watch it happen in real time.

So today a new woman is being seated in the area. I have my frame on. I get up to leave the area because I need to take a piss and I see her for the first time and she will be sitting next to my cube so she has to pass me. When she does I make it to where she has comply to my personal space to pass me. As we encountered each other face to face I gave strong eye contact with a smirk forced her to move around me, which rsulted in a negative impression on her face, but so what. I don't need her, I am amusing myself and that's my frame. So she passes me and I head off to take a leak. When I come back I start dropping preselection grenades all over place talking the ladies who already knew me. She cant avoid the blast radius and she is getting caught in. I notice that she continues to watch me. I walk toward group's manager, to say hi to him and dominate him by posturing myself over him because he is sitting down like a good AFC. By the time I work my back to her I just introduce me myself. Hi I am <my name>. I am shy. What's your name? From that point forward she was putty. I took her hand with both of my hands establishing good kino with eye contact as I introduced myself. She's hooked.

I have to totally with what is being said. Become a seducer first and give women what they want and alpha comes out naturally.

Nice story VMan5000!

I think that even if you leave the results for what they are, to have a big bunch of knowledge about how to seduce women gives a big boost to your confidence and therefore it will automatically boost your alpha-style behavior without you even consciously knowing or putting effort in it!

So the best way to start building your game is reading stuff about body language, voice tonality and the basic principles of seduction and attraction. Then you can start building a big mental library of knowledge upon this strong foundation and put all of this into practice!

Op asking about how to be an alpha male sucks

You are already alpha believe me

You have characteristics of an alpha it in embedded in your blood

Ok now I won't tell you what to do I will just remind you of what you are as a man and how any man will see you especially when you challenge them in any way .they will see you as an equal that is why you might get the beating of your life or you get to beat the suit out of them ..Be it sports ,sarging,music ,what ever

No one person is better than the other ok?

There is probably a time in your life when you told somebody to fuck off(that was alpha)
There was a time when you shouted he'll no(that was alpha)
There was a time when you said he'll yeah(that was alpha )

Buddy you are too alpha to want to be more alpha

What you were asking was how you can be conscious of your alpha traits.

Knowing who you are is enough .

Look in your bathroom mirror and ask your self who the fuck you are

Now let the positive thoughts reign in your mind your winning mind and feel that energy!
Yes that energy that tells you ,how smart you actually are that energy that makes or made you Lough inside your brain about that douchbag who thought he was cool at school but is now broke and unemployed,yes that energy that makes you feel successful and keep that shit in your brain .you are alpha

Being alpha is a state of the mind .
And never ask this silly stuff again .now go out there and get your dick wet but before you do that go to the football field where the guys are playing and play with them best them ,if it's basket ball play with them if you get into a fight use your brain don't back down or get too emotional just make the right decision

Me I am big I am very strong but I hardly ever fight or get into fights lol
I always get out of silly stuffs and I think that is alpha I remember once I made a very lill guy actually feel like he could beat me up in front of very guy and we'll the guys thought it was cool that I was so humble and nice ,this lill guy is now a good friend and has respect for me bc is he gets to see me mess up 3 guys my size lol

We are all equal you are too cool to learn how to be cool just keep a calm friendly posture all the time .if you look deep down you know it, we are our only friends in the end so be friendly but be nobody's friend ,trust no one but keep erthing in ya head.and if it comes to babes do exactly the bad ass you you actually are

You know am telling you the truth

Op asking about how to be an alpha male sucks

You are already alpha believe me

You have characteristics of an alpha it in embedded in your blood

Ok now I won't tell you what to do I will just remind you of what you are as a man and how any man will see you especially when you challenge them in any way .they will see you as an equal that is why you might get the beating of your life or you get to beat the suit out of them ..Be it sports ,sarging,music ,what ever

No one person is better than the other ok?

There is probably a time in your life when you told somebody to fuck off(that was alpha)
There was a time when you shouted he'll no(that was alpha)
There was a time when you said he'll yeah(that was alpha )

Buddy you are too alpha to want to be more alpha

What you were asking was how you can be conscious of your alpha traits.

Knowing who you are is enough .

Look in your bathroom mirror and ask your self who the fuck you are

Now let the positive thoughts reign in your mind your winning mind and feel that energy!
Yes that energy that tells you ,how smart you actually are that energy that makes or made you Lough inside your brain about that douchbag who thought he was cool at school but is now broke and unemployed,yes that energy that makes you feel successful and keep that shit in your brain .you are alpha

Being alpha is a state of the mind .
And never ask this silly stuff again .now go out there and get your dick wet but before you do that go to the football field where the guys are playing and play with them best them ,if it's basket ball play with them if you get into a fight use your brain don't back down or get too emotional just make the right decision

Me I am big I am very strong but I hardly ever fight or get into fights lol
I always get out of silly stuffs and I think that is alpha I remember once I made a very lill guy actually feel like he could beat me up in front of very guy and we'll the guys thought it was cool that I was so humble and nice ,this lill guy is now a good friend and has respect for me bc is he gets to see me mess up 3 guys my size lol

We are all equal you are too cool to learn how to be cool just keep a calm friendly posture all the time .if you look deep down you know it, we are our only friends in the end so be friendly but be nobody's friend ,trust no one but keep erthing in ya head.and if it comes to babes do exactly the bad ass you you actually are

You know am telling you the truth