My ex used to tell me she loved me all the time. Everyday really multiples times. I would say it back maybe 50% of the time out of courtesy(Or I was feelin it) and the other half I would just deflect or act like I didnt hear it.

in that 2 year relationship, I said it first MAYBE 10 times tops. When I said it first I was really feeling love vibrations and thought she should know in those moments.

Heres the issue, she was constantly asking me if I "still love her" and asking why I never say it first. In hindsight I probably shouldve been playful with it but my usual answer was something dancing around actions being more powerful than words. Regardless, if im pressured into saying ILY back I dont do it or say it very nonchalantly with obvious lack of sincerity.

Should I just never say it til ive tied the knot? GEnuinely lie? My ex doesnt understand that I can not love her yet still like her as my girlfriend. Fucks sake I take care of her like shes my wife. I just dont like that word being thrown around.

thoughts?

Try something more unique like "I adore you", "You're my number 1" or even "You're my queen".

If she starts asking these words or the reason you're saying them, tell her that you don't want the word "I love you" to lose it's meaning. I personally did this to one girl and the only reason that made me say "I love you" was the fact that it was an important event (valentine's, her birthday, on a special event, or when I REALLY felt a strong vibe or she did something that really amazed me).

If you don't love her after 2 years let her find someone who does. You have integrity, great, but most girls will be bothered if you can't naturally say it after 2 years.

dealing a girl depends on how you react to her and keep saying "i trust you" and "i adore you"
this will make her feel as if you were bought to her.
which will change her mind set and make to move towards you and she will desperately trust you.