| Hey guys,
For the longest time, I didn't even know much about the term "hard case" or what it really meant, but lately I've been seeing some videos and reading some pieces on hard cases. For the longest time, I've actually thought this is what I was.
I started hearing some examples of what makes a hard case, and some things occurred to me.
"Wait a minute! I was never *that* bad!"
For a big chunk of my first years going out, I was hanging out with this big popular crew of people just back from college, living in their home town where they went to high school, with their loaded families and shit load of friends they grew up with. They'd walk into any bar or club any night in our city and they could point out 25 people they knew. We never once hung out with a single person who was new to the group, who they all just met. Every single time we ever hung out, it was with people they went to high school with, or who lived in the area too and they just knew very closely from college. I was the only new guy to the group really, but they were cool with me, so I was lucky (if you want to call it that.)
Some had major game and were clearly naturals. More often than not, it was simply situational value and situational confidence.
There were a lot of colleges in this part of the state too, where like 90% of people went to high school right around the area, and simply commute, then run to their cars right after class. I went to one of those, then this is what I saw my first 4-5 years straight out of school. Do you see where this is going?
Some towns and areas are like that; you might know of a few.
Anyway, sure, I met girls from the group and through the group, but was striking out every time I stepped up; girls seemed to want nothing to do with me other than just a passing acquantance; I couldn't figure out what it was I was doing wrong!
Example: There were these two blonde 10's who came together to this club one night. Some of us were around them; we chatted but they were total bitches, scoffed at me and turned their heads. Really sour, bitter faces. We ended up moving on after a while, and the 2 girls stayed at the bar. I talked to a guy from the group about them, I said, "What's up with those two girls? Do you see how they're even sitting?" I looked back and saw that they were both sitting next to each other at the bar and staring forward, with scrunched, sour faces, and not even talking to each other.
"Why are they acting like that?" The guy said, "Those girls only like middle eastern guys they went to high school with, and they'll sit like that all night until they get here."
It was shit like that through college and through my 20's.
I was beating my head against the wall trying to figure out why I wasn't making any traction with girls at all.
I realized after too long, that these girls could see how I was being responded to by the group. The other dudes just had the social proof and they always got the benefit of a doubt, so they got the female attention. It was game over before it even started.
It wasn't until I really got moved into a bigger city with a shit load of new faces every day, and fresh crowds in the clubs and bars every night, that stuff started really taking off with me. "Holy shit!" I thought. "I wish I'd known to do this sooner!"
I think too many people are writing themselves off as being a hard case because getting started in pick-up or even talking to girls is so insurmountably hard, and they don't have the whole story.
If you think you might be a hard case, maybe you should take a look at the type of environment you've been in. That might have something to do it; I've heard more guys these days say they're not good with approaching girls, and they're also in really cliquey places, small towns, and always seem to be on the outside, simply because they weren't born in this area, or didn't grow up with those people.
For best results, you really need to be in a place where a fresh crop of people rotates through constantly. Not that social circle game doesn't have its place, but some people go overboard.
I've actually had some people say that changing your environment is a pussy thing to do because you're not "manning up" and making things work where they are. Yeah, bullshit. They say "geographical cures" don't work...bullshit.
I'm writing this to hopefully help some people not have some of their better years wasted because they're just in the wrong area.
Just some thoughts....
Last edited by poodogr on Thu Dec 19, 2013 8:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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