Hey guys

I posted a few weeks ago concerning my girlfriend...but they were just minor issues. But now, I cant stand it anymore. She is destroying me.

Doing some investigating on the forum, reading up some relationship material, and using some logic, Ive discovered my girl is an emotionally manipulative woman. Straight up no denial or sugar coating, she is what she is. Now I figured before, 'maybe I can get her to change, NLPing her to forget all these bad habits...' but Ive had only mild success so far.

Last night I couldnt answer my phone due to a low battery and other crap, and she went ballistic on me. She told me I should have known it was important and that she really needed to talk to me (the big deal turns out that she got a low grade on an assignment she thought she did good in...big fuckin deal)

She kept launching into a tirade, how Im never there for her (not true), how I dont appreciate how much she loves me (not true), and how shes always afraid Ill leave her at any moment (very true lol)

I got a bit emotional on the phone with her tbh (was having a shit day and havent slept in 72 hours...fml) and she started apologizing like crazy, promising me shes never gonna leave me no matter what and that we'll get married some day (we have talked alot about the matter...but after these past few events, Im having doubts). Now this morning, even after apologizing last night, she once again blamed me for not loving her and being there for her all the time.

When this happened...I had a snap. Told her "do what your heart tells you" At this point she got all scared and crawled back to me. Told her I need some time to think about stuff and turned off my phone. Now Im sitting here typing all this to you guys.

Now...I dont want any "just dump her" messages please. I dont wanna dump her...not yet at least. What Im asking you guys (begging actually) is to tell me what to do with this emotionally manipulative woman. We love each other so much, but her constant breakdowns are making me dislike her alot these days. Shes always blaming me for crap that isnt my fault, but because shes a scarred girl that never had anybody care for her, she just craves my attention every fucking second of the day. This is the problem right here.

So, what should I do given the circumstances? Should I instill dread by turning off my phone while Im "giving it time to think" or is that not wise with a girl like this? Oh, shes a Cinderella in the Pandoras Box system. Shes been in one relationship before me (3 years) and she loves me to death (even told me she can never leave me no matter what I did to her...I dont believe her though lol)

Sorry for the rant...had to get that off my chest. Your help is always appreciated brothers

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Sounds like you're dating my ex ,hahah.



How old is she ? and how long have you been together ? More importantly , how long has she been acting like this ?


Those are important details if you want a good answer .

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Appreciate the fast reply R.C

She's 20 like me. We've been together for almost 3 months. Now I know you might be thinking "that's way to early to get serious about someone," but I have a gut feeling she's the one for me. I've been with so many girls from so many places...and none of them are half the person she is.

She's a virgin too (but is considering losing it to me) but we fool around heaps. I'm the first guy she's ever done all this with (I have proof she isn't just saying that) and swore she would only do it with the right person. She may be young...but she definitely isn't stupid :p

Now...she's been acting this way basically the whole duration of our relationship (but a bit more these past couple of weeks). So I dunno why but she always blames me for it...and it's always the same reason. I don't talk to her enough (that's fuckin bullshit imho)

She just has these moments where she's all lovey dovey one second...and the next she's depressed about something stupid ("you deserve better than me bla bla bla" I dont buy it anymore)

So should I keep soft nexting her? Or is there another course of action that would be better suited for this situation?

Thank you so much

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

How the hell is she a virgin if she had a 3 year relationship ? What proof can you possibly have ? .

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

We live in a conservative society. Its a big stigma here considering virginity...and I have solid evidence she has never done anything with anybody except me. She fuckin cried when I kissed her (her first kiss too) hahahaha

She was 14 when she started dating the bloke and broke it off when she was 17. She had one short one month relationship with some other guy but he was a stoner or some shit so she ran away from him

Shes a good Christian girl, her family have brought her up well, so shes definitely not a slut (just trust me on this bro ) For her to fool around with me...it took alot of coaxing and my set of PUA routines and patterns to do it. And shes deep head over heels Bambi eyes dead set in love with me. She NEEDS me to father her children. For us to even fool around...its a massive indicator shes 100% certain about me being the one for her.

So considering the fact shes an attention whore (for me only...she doesnt care about anybody else) should I give her the attention she wants after the shit shes put me through? OR should I keep going with my soft next and instill some fear into her? Be certain though...shes gonna give me Armageddon for ignoring her (since she always fights me for this exact same reason), so I just dunno what the best course of action is now...

(She says "Ill only ever leave you if I feel youre going to leave first"...so if I soft next her..shes gonna think I left or something...)

Thoughts?

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Considering your last post R.C..I will give her an ultimatum:

"Get your shit together or GTFO"

So it will be on her head...let her be responsible for losing me. She claims shes trying so hard to fix her mood swings but tbh Im not seeing any progress

She knows I have other options...she knows I have 100 girls after me (no bullshit there...) Shes so afraid of losing me, so Ill make her work supernaturally hard to get her to change using this ultimatum. If I dont see the results, then its adios.

Sounds reasonable?

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Look , you won't change her. Trust me on that , you can't. People don't change for other people , people only change for themselves.
I know she'll say that she'll move the sun for you. Trust me , won't happen.


Those types of women are leeches. They will suck all your lifeforce out of you and the longer you stay around them , the harder it will be for you to recover.

I understand where you come from , but trust me she is not by a long shot "the one" for you. EMW's require ridiculous amounts of attention and the more you give , the more they'll feel entitled to / want.

She's not emotionally mature enough for a relationship and that's hardwired into her core. I guarantee that soft-nexting her will result into 100 texts of apology and rivers of tears on her side right until you say "OK ,I forgive you". 2 hours later she'll be all up in your grill again with some retarded argument lined up and ready to go.



You're breaking down after just 3 months. Even if you fully commit to giving her all the attention she wants , how long do you think you'll last ?


I'm not even addressing the 1000 obvious reasons for which you should immediately move on , I'm just trying to point out the futility in any other possible course of action.




Also ultimatums are never a good idea. Erase that word from your vocabulary.

Here's my challenge for you. You give me any , and I mean any idea you can think of making this work , and I'll give you exactly how and why that won't work.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Quick back story

My dad was quite the Casanova back in the day. The guy should open up his own PUA business hahaha. So anyways, I always go to him for advice regarding these matters (he told me to dump her ages ago). But when I told him about some of these issues, he suggested an idea.

Im leaving my country to study abroad for a few years. MY girl knows this, and is fully committed to an LDR and is fully prepared. I would come back every year though, and we have SPAM and shit I guess. She cant wait till I finish so that "we can get married" (her cheating is not an issue at all)

Now, dad suggested when I go, I should date alot of women over there (and plenty of SNLs) and at the same time keep my relationship with my girl. He said if I feel like I still have feelings for her at the end of my 'adventures', then shes the one for me.

You reckon I should do that? Does that sound good? Ill keep up with this bullshit for now, as much as it hurts me, but when I leave soon Ill just go apeshit and become a player again. And if I still love her, its all good. If I discover she isnt worth the effort, then who gives a fuck...Im screwing sluts

Good plan?

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

I'll tell you what I told my best friend when he attempted something similar.

Sure , it's a great plan. But I got a better one.


Dump her first , then go abroad.


This girl hasn't the bare concept of what LDR is. She will hold you back. She will want to SPAM every single damn night and you will miss out on stuff at least a few times because of her.She'll be a nightmare to deal with. Her presence in your life will occasionally fuck your mood up for the day , and that's a loss in itself.

Your dad has the right idea , it "seems" like a win-win , but it's just unnecessary bagagge.


Also I sent you a PM. Check it out .

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

RC is right here. This girl will make a LDR unbearable.

So, she is young, has had one kid relationship, one fling and now you for 3 month where she is manipulative. What makes you think she even knows how to handle a relationship? Obviously she doesn't. Talking about marriage 3 months in? Not to downplay your emotions, but if you 2 are talking about this so soon, it's not a sign of how great you are together; it's a sign that u 2 don't know what marriage means or how people work. Being head over heels for someone and wanting to marry someone is not an indicator that a rs will last. And no disrespect to your dad, but if he's older and is telling you to stay with this girl and he's been with many women so has seen alot, he's a bad player. If he has experience with women, he knows that this type of woman it's best to run quickly.

You have a rare girl. Virgin, and in love with you talking about marriage. You assume that since she must be faithful to you and she's already that much in love that's what a rs can be based on. But it's not. You don't have to worry about her sleeping with other guys or losing attraction for her, and that's a great feeling, but that doesn't mean that she is the one. No one at 20, especially women, can tell you that they know anything about who they will become, how their mindset would change in a few years. Being a virgin and conservative at 20 doesn't mean she will be the same at 23. Wanting marriage now does not mean she will want it at 25. Enjoy it but don't take it seriously. Especially with her being emotionally manipulative that's a red flag.

A LDR brings out the problems of a regular rs. If you're insecure, you will become more insecure. If you're needy you will become needier. If you argue, you will argue more. Things get worse. Since she is like this, she will get worse.

Oh dear god where to begin.

I'm not going to sugar coat this...you need to dump her and learn some game, otherwise you are in for a lifetime of hurt in your dealings with women.

You are not in a relationship with his girl..you are not having sex with her....instead you are being abused by her...so a girl who screams at you and abuses you and doesn't fuck you who you've barely known for three months...is the girl you want to marry???? Are you f-zing insane??? You might as well commit suicide.

You need to learn how to get quality girls unless you want your future life to be a living hell.

neo87: I've been around, I know how the dynamics work. Having slept with over 20 women at the age of 20, Ive become a bit disillusioned about the concept of women. They're all sluts. Period. Finding a genuine good girl has been my main task since I devoted myself to PU (contrary to the fun I've had of course...a bit is always allowed )

So, concerning the marriage issue, you could say I've found a woman who I've classified fit to be a potential mother of my future children. I love her passion, her personality, almost her everything. So I figured "I've found this woman that I'll never find again (abundance theory be damned....there's plenty of sluts out there but barely any virgins/good girls), I may as well 'train' her out of some niggling habits she has to make her the ultimate woman for me" So I'm doing my best...I need some patience and persistence though. (Only if I see results)

I adjusted my game yesterday to revolve more around a push/pull concept for rewarding/punishing her behavior (as advised by another PUA friend). Success so far, but won't get my hope up too much. It's only been a day

Oh yea, dad told me to dump her ass ages ago (I mentioned it before), but I persisted like a little bitch I could change her moodiness. So that's when he told me to date other women overseas but keep her...



Sa1980: mate, I never said she abused me (lolwut). If she did I would have decked her in the fuckin face long time ago

We've talked about sex and she agreed to lose her virginity to me (where I'm from...kinda means 'seal the deal'...for life) but I'm not so sure about it. Need to give it some more thought.

I'm basically putting her on a trial with my new push/pull dynamic. If I see improvement in her behavior, she gets to stay. If not, she needs to go.

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Dude come on you don't sound happy to me. Wheres your self worth? Where's your reality and her being the guest? Would you let a stranger ring your door bell, push you out the way as you open the door and defecate on your carpet? Hell no you wouldn't be pleased, so why are you putting up with this "guest"??

I am not going to give you what you want I will tell you straight up let her go.

You can't change a person the oldest adage in the book. You should listen to your old man they normally tell you whats right first then if you whine like a puppy to not hurt you he gave you the second option in his head thinking you'll forget about her anyway. Trust me fathers have sleepless nights when it comes to giving their boys relationship advice.

Imagine after the honeymoon she becomes a nag all she does is complain. You're off to work she complains you're back at 18:05 when you're usually back at 18:00. A little over-exaggerated.

I WILL BEG YOU to open your eyes and see this RED FLAG!

I think subconsciously you're afraid of losing this perfect ''CINDERELLA" screw that man I'm sure you can find a ''used" vehicle that will make you happy in the long run (sorry for the connotation but I had to) yes good women who've been around do exist be patient and have more fun they will come around. I agree our values may differ but you are still young you'll know when you're ready for marriage but its not now because if it were you wouldn't be asking for advice over this specific woman and the issue at hand.

ALL THE BEST.

Dragon-itis

Thank you so so so much. Reading your post made me smile and mull things over in my head.

You're right. You're so fucking right it isn't even funny.

I value myself too much. Fuck it, she's giving me this constant drama almost every bloody day, and it's killing me inside. I don't know how much more I can take of this nonsense.

Such a damn shame though...she was perfect. All these characteristics I ever wanted in one girl, all rolled up into the beautiful yet destructive mess that she is now.

She told me now "I feel like there's something broken between us" (red flag) even though nothing really happened, was push pulling her fantastically. So then after we end the call she sends me a message of some lame joke then straight away a minute later she sends me 3 dots ... (means she's upset) and then another message telling me "Oh something is definitely broken..turning off my phone. Bye dear"

All this happening just moments before reading your reply. Fuck it mate, just gonna cut my losses and move on. I don't need this shit in my life. This is probably my anger typing all this, but I can't take it anymore.

"Honey, we need to talk..."

Will report back with how it went hehehehe

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Lol I love how guys will act like they see the light..... only once the girls starts pulling away.

Another point, rethinking some aspects of this, I could see her as being emotionally manipulative but you have some blame here. You can't go talking to a woman about marriage 3 months in, and not expect her to go crazy when you're missing. As you said, you found a non slut and wanted to hold her down quickly. Now's she's crazy for you, but that means she is CRAZY for you too. You've gotten her attached so she's attached.