So I've been with an Asian girl for 3 years.

The big problem is her parents and siblings went ballistic about 6 months into our relationship when they found out she was dating a white dude. In other words, I've never met her fam or been over to her house. The day her family found out about me she immediately told them she's single to get them off her case. Therein, my girl always comes to my place or we'll meet in public. Pretty much all the time her parents are trying to set her up with asian guys and telling her how bad white guys are. They always ask her why she doesn't have a boyfriend. And her sis is in an abusive marriage with a white guy, which doesn't help my cause and further fuels the fire. She's in her mid/late 20s, lives with her entire family, and works with them.

We've had several breaks during the relationship, which usually lasted no more than a week. The last month, though, has been pretty tough. We went almost 3 weeks without talking and then have met in public a couple times since briefly, but no k or f closes in about 6 weeks. However, a few nights ago we did have phone sex, then a couple days later she went back to building distance and setting up a wall.

I think deep down inside she does want me. But, the pressure of her family is screwing with her. Essentially, she doesn't think we have any future together since she believes her family would never accept me and I can't speak her parents' native language (she is the only person in her whole family who is fluent in English).

It's really frustrating and I love this girl. But, she's putting up all kinds of walls and is afraid to keep pursuing me in order to please her family. If I can't find a way to remedy this, chances are she will be rebound with a guy of her race and settle to please her family and avoid confrontation.

Any good tips on how to keep her without coming across as needy? I guess you could say we're borderline still together, but as mentioned before, she's being very distant because she's afraid that her family will disown her like her sis is experiencing with an abusive white husband.

cliff's:

- dating asian girl for 3 yrs
- her family hates white guys and doesn't think we've been seeing each other for the last 2.5 years
- she's really confused right now and has thus been acting distant/resistant for the last month to month and a half
- only seen her twice, briefly, for the last 6 weeks with no k or f closes during that time

If she's worth it to you , get your ass to her house and talk with her dad. Man to man.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I'm with R.C...have you met the family?

Edit: just read that you didn't. You should have met them. Stop the hiding and go meet them instead of having her tell them. What were the fights about btw?

Sorry to play devil's advocate, but how do you know the family thing is not just a convenient excuse?

Just saying maybe she's playing you while you're on those "breaks".

And dude, please don't say k-close / f-close when referring to your girlfriend of 3 years, it sounds retarded.

I agree with the above. Go to her place uninvited with a present for her parents and show her dad you're a good guy. If that fails, post them a letter without telling your girlfriend.

OP I've been in your situation, a Asian girl but its because I'm black. You can try to talk to the dad and see how that goes though most likely he still won't want you dating his daughter. Eventually my gf broke up with me because her parents told her they'd stop paying for her college if she continued to see me,,,,,I"m not kidding