I haven't had much luck in the bars here. I tried all of the tried-and-true stuff like the cube, but no one's been biting. I think I intimidate everyone because I'm pretty alpha. I thought I'd take my game to OkCupid. I read a lot of the threads here, plus picked up some books off Amazon on good OkCupid openers. Naturalboy had a good post the other day on the steps. Opener, creating attraction, qualification face, sedation. I think my openers have been really good.

Here are some if anyone wants to steal (just don't live in DC - I don't want a copycat in DC):

Me: I really admire you for putting that bikini photo up, but you probably should have waited until you lost a few pounds.
Her: Are you serious?
After that, I told her about how I'm a personal trainer and could help her with her glutes and stuff. Made sure to throw in some compliments like how her skin looks really supple. She totally ate it up.

Me: Not really sure what your profile says. Too many run-ons. Did you even graduate high school?
Her: Lol ok grammer nazi.
After that, I sent her a revised draft of her profile with revisions - I got rid of the run-ons and stuff. Then she asked how I knew all this stuff, and I told her I was a professor in this MBA program at Georgetown. She and I got into talking about how tenure is great, and I'm looking at a 6 figure bonus this coming year. We've been joking around a lot, but she seems really serious about going to Fiji with me for spring break.

Anyway, what I need help with is this: I live in an RV. I'm broke. Not even a nice RV. It's a 1979 Dodge Honey. It's like the one from Breaking Bad. It doesn't have a heater, but I do have a twin sized air mattress in it. I made plans to meet the bikini chick and the grammar chick, but I'm not sure how to explain the RV. Or the fact that I'm kind of overweight. I've been using photos of Criss Angel in my profile, but no one's called me out on it yet. Anyway, should I just be upfront about everything? Should I splurge on a Motel 6 and keep up the personal trainer/professor lies? HELP. I have until Friday to figure this out.

Dude, your story epitomises what's wrong with online dating... to many people bending the truth a little bit, until overweight guy living in an RV becomes Criss Angel looking guy with the body of a personal trainer, a professor's job and 6 digit income... Just imagine if you go on a date with a chick that uses the picture of Scarlet Johansson and she shows up looking as Honey Boo Boo's mom!

Enough about that, how can you recover... My money is on these chicks ditching your ass the moment they meet you and realise the web of lies they are caught in... You will fall big in their eyes...

Next time, try being less creative with your description and you will be surprised how many chicks will still be interested to meet you. And you will not have to worry about keeping up appearances and unrealistic expectations...

OP you are fucking pathetic. That is all. I was going to help you but this is just fucking horrible. You don't deserve help.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

I seriously hope this post is a joke.

LoL, I lived in an RV for a while and I didn't get laid once.

You need to have a place where you can lay a chick, or you won't get laid, even at her place. I'm not sure why, but that is how it works.

Trying to get laid while living in an RV will definitely help your game, though.

Thanks, bros. Was supposed to have a date tonight with one of the chicks. I gave her the address of the library. I park my RV in their parking lot on the weekends so I can use the free wifi out in the lot. I told her I'd pick her up from the parking lot, but when she saw me climb out of my RV and start walking over, she screamed and ran. Back to the drawing board. Maybe I'll hit up tinder next.

I have a feeling this thread was meant to be a joke. Haha. But anyways, you shouldn't lie though. Like how Style doesn't it. When he picks up girls he doesn't ever lie. Except for one thing, I don't remember what it was.

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"Don't try to change who you are. Don't even think you're not good enough right now. You ARE good enough being who you are. Women can smell a fake man the same way you can smell cheesecake."