Done.

I did post this in another thread, but I'm interested in your input, Tripp.

How to "keep in touch" with a girl with a boyfriend..

I dated this girl for a little bit (when I was AFC). We stopped dating and then a month or so later I began talking to her again. We got together once or twice, but I didn't pursue her that aggressively... A month or so later I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner.

She said:
"I would feel funny doing that because I've been dating someone for a few weeks"


I texted back to her (bigtime AFC):
"Call me if it doesn't work out and maybe we'll get together and see how it goes"

She says:
"Ok! Sounds good!"

Anyway, we text back and forth fairly regularly. She told me her relationship is already on the rocks-- She says her BF is depressed a lot and she has to cheer him up all the time .

I've persisted some in asking her out.. It's more like:
"I'm going to get some lunch. Want to come with me?"

But she won't budge as long as she has a BF, even though I drop "as friends" and "i'm glad we can be friends" periodically.

I feel like I could have had her back had I pursued her more when she was single.. You snooze, you lose, I guess. My question is, how do I keep in touch with her and periodically probe to see if she is still with him without sounding like a total chump? I think that she does still like me, but she's the shy type and I frankly don't know if she will text me when they break up.

I understand "moving on," but I want to win this girl over because last time she knew me, I was AFC. If she falls head over heels for me the second time around, it would validate the progress I have made as a PUA.


Just yesterday she texts me:

"Can I ask you a question? I need guy's opinion on something"

"What's up with a guy that is really affectionate at first and says he could see himself marrying me and then be distant and non affectionate the next week?

(she's been with him for about a month, I think)

I respond (AFC, I guess)

"Awful early for this, isn't it? You guys should still be honeymooning."

Then I say (AFC):

"I don't know this guy, so I cannot say anything definitive. However, you shouldn't blame yourself. It could be stress, family problems, or another woman, but it is not your fault."

She is shy and naive, and it sounds as though she has been played. How do I probe to find out when it is over and then gracefully swoop in to save the day without looking like a chump on standby for her?

As you said, very much AFC stuff here. Still AFC. You actually should have subtely pushed her away a bit. That, those comments, at this point, will never truly work in this situation. Forget about using them the way you are. Nope, "pursuing" the way it sounds like you're talking wouldn't have worked either. At this point, if you don't want to sound like a chump, and you don't want to be AFC, you DON'T proble, PERIOD. You can drop a line occasionally. With something funny, or just to literally say "Hey, what's up", something SIMPLE like that, and THAT'S ALL. You DO NOT probe. It won't get you anywhere. I've got to say this . . . if validation is all you want from this girl, that's bullshit. If that's it, then forget about her and move on. Even if it's validating your progress. That's nothing short of using her, and that's bullshit. Yes, THIS statement is where you REALLY messed up on this latest set of messaging. You comforted her, validated her, took the blame off of her, blah blah. Just exactly what she came to you for. Again, you DON'T probe. All you are is her friend that she uses to validate herself with right now. THAT'S IT. You HAVE to push her away a bit. Still be there for her to drop a line to, but don't give her answers, don't give her validation, PERIOD.

And all of this is, on my part, hoping that you aren't using HER for validation as you said.

Thanks, Tripp.

I am genuinely interested in this girl.. I didn't make it clear.

Thanks for the help. Let me ask you two questions..

When that girl asked me why her BF was loving at first, and now distant, what should i have said?


Second, I'm taking your advice.. I'm going to push her away. When she texts me (out of the blue) to tell me it's over between her and her BF, what steps should I take next?

Thanks in advance.

When she asked you that question, you should have just let it hang in the air, unanswered, unless she PUSHED you for an answer. Then you would build him up to prepare her for a b/f destroyer. When you build him up right, she would start tearing him down herself. Allowing you to move in.

When she tells you it's over with him, she then has to EARN your attention. You agree to get together with her in some public place. You watch for her signals to show you that she wants to get somewhere private with you. Watch, they will be there.

Thanks, Tripp.

Regarding b/f destroyer, is this what you're talking about?

http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/03_A ... troy.shtml

Or something more like this:

http://www.seductiontuition.com/harmles ... oyers.html

Either one will work actually. Just have good body language and confidence when you do it.

What up Tripp? I posted this in Newbie's questions as a new thread but I figure I'll try direct as well . Keep squeakin til I get the grease. Got any thoughts on creating DHV routines?

Welcome to the forum HBhitman. When you say DHV "routines", are you speaking of DHV stories? If so, here's what I suggest. Comb through your life and find stories that have higher value embedded in them. Believe me, they are there. I've got a couple of students that I work with that thought they had NO stories from their life, but believe me, you do. Then, you take those stories, and w/o changing the actual story, keeping it true, you put emotionally impactful words in there. If you tell a story with pure logic to a girl, 99% of the time you won't engage the girl. If you tell a story with emotion to a girl, you WILL engage the girl, and obviously that's what you want to do.

Can you give us a little example of a story told with logic vs that same story told with emotion?

The girl wanted handcuffs, so we dug a pair out, threw them on her, and went at it.

She wanted handcuffs, so we dug through my treasure trove, found a cool pair I got from a local retired cop, and we snapped one cuff onto each of her wrists, snapping the other cuff onto two different posts at the head of the bed. It was a fun night.

See the difference? BTW, you put passion into it when you're saying it.

That's good stuff..

I'm having a hard time coming up with DHV stories (pre-approval by women) that don't come across like bragging or telling too much information.

I like the idea for a tribal leader DHV story about how I organized and threw a surprise B-day party for a friend where I decided to make the theme CEOs and office hoes over the luau because I was worried about people twirling flaming batons, and blah blah blah

Go for it. Use good, descriptive, emotional words and roll with it. And, use passion in your voice when telling it.