Hey guys im very new to the community but i have been reading and learning for a while now. I did the newbie mission 4 days ago and the results were good. i walked around the mall for about 2 hours just saying Hi how u doing to people and most people responded back. there were a few that didnt but i wasnt to worried about that.
anyways yesterday i went to the mall again and i saw a HB 8 that i wanted to talk to but as i started walking to her direction i started panicking. i got nervous and all that was going through my mind was idk what to say to her. so i did nothing.
today i was pretty bummed about pussying out yesterday and decided to try again today. and the same thing happened.
i get really nervous when i am by myself because i feel uncomfortable. usually if i have a friend around i am more confident and more willing to approach because i am more comfortable.
i was wondering if anyone has gone through something like that or anyone that can help me get past it?

Hello my friend. Everyone gets AA. Many people who would even brag about being a master PUA admit to still getting AA from time to time. I know that personally i still get it at the beginning of every night when i try to approach someone. The first person is the hardest, then the second is a little easier then the first, and so on and so forth until not only is the barrier gone all together, but you will in fact feel like there is a magnet pulling you to actually approach people. So strong will the pull be, that it will be almost irresistible. The best part is that this magnetic pull you will feel comes to you regardless of how all your other approaches you did earlier that night went! Why? Because its not about results, its about overcoming fear( if you could at this very moment eliminate fear from your body, i would imagine your success rate with women would improve 1000%, with out the need for any knowledge). So, when you approach a girl, and you bail because fear won over that time, don't worry, Try again, and again, until you hear the words finally coming out of your mouth. IF you are anything like me, it took me a whole day walking around town attempting to approach girls, and then just walking right by until i could finally even open my mouth.
Also, I know from experience ( and its something that I've never heard anyone talk about ) to take your time when your first beginning to approach girls. Take lots of breaks and drink lots of water. Stress can do funny things to you, and when your approaching girls for the first time lots of things are going on and stress is attacking you from every angle. I felt fatigue quickly, i also experienced being really hot.
Every night, while you are laying in bed, go inside of your mind and cut that thing out of your brain that attaches you to caring about the outcome of approaching. The solution to your problem is already with you, its inside of your mind. Its the choice let go.

I know that feeling. What you're going through is completely normal.

It is really uncomfortable to start with, but you're doing something new and its something that takes balls most guys don't have. Well done for doing the approaches you've done.

For approach anxiety I can tell you that the only thing that works is literally to just do it anyway. No amount of reading or learning you do can ever fix AA. Seriously.

AA just means you're afraid of failure. At this stage, a lot of your interactions will fail anyway, so just literally be willing to fail with them and get it over with because there are billions of attractive women in the world.

thanks for responding guys. yea i just got get myself to approach the first person, maybe by starting out with someone im not really attracted to. for some reason i stress to much about what the outcome will be and that i something i need to change. i am going to go out again later today and give it another shot.

Great posts above. I would add that in some cases that will never change with the first one or two girls of the day. Being outcome-dependent is what gets guys stuck in a circle of not opening because they get caught in that loop. But as said above, after the first 1 or 2 approaches of the day there is literally a magnet drawing you to open sets. There is no magic pill unfortunately: You have to force yourself to do the first couple of the day.

Visualization can help too. Before you go to sleep on the day before you go out, picture in your mind's eye having great convos with women - them laughing and being into you and readily giving you their # or going on instant dates with you. Use all 5 senses when you do this.

This makes perfect sense.. It's like Football, you're nervous until you get hit, then it's all adrenaline.

The reason why you feel anxious is because what you are doing ie hanging around the mall for 2 hours desperate to get a girl is just not fucking NORMAL. It's creepy. Christ on a bike. Why not meet girls at social events who have the same hobbies as you instead of walking around the mall looking like a desperate prick. It's Xmas and people are doing their Xmas shopping and don't need some fucking jerk getting in the way saying hi how are you on a fucking loop. What hobbies do you have? Find girls that way. Hanging around the mall is for fucking losers dude. Girls can see how nervous and desperate you are and it's not a good look.

You will always have AA. Always. I was on a date today, and I've been on quite a few dates by now, and I got a massive feeling of wanting to turn around. MASSIVE. Guess what? The date went great. It is at this point where you accept you have AA and you just PUSH through. Your fears are stopping you from living a full life. Either you get rid of the fear, which will probably take massive experience and TIME, or you just say fuck it to the fear and do it anyway. You push through, not letting this fear control you, but rather you control you.

I totally agree with the premise of this viewpoint - that it's better to meet girls at social events. The mall should really just be used to do simple small-talk interactions to help start overcoming AA. You definitely shouldn't try pickup in a mall when you have AA, and even if you don't have AA it's still kind of risky. I recently read something about guys getting banned from malls for approaching girls, so guys you shouldn't "push your luck" with mall interactions and don't do too many of them at risk of getting noticed.

Again, it's much better to practice at casual social events where you have much more freedom, but if you have crippling AA it might actually be a good idea to do a reasonable amount of really simple, SAFE small talk approaches in the mall - but with anyone, not just girls you like. By 'safe' I mean just ask directions, create a little bit of a conversation, maybe give a subtle compliment (if you're comfortable), leave, and that's it.

Nothing too heavy, but good to start getting a grip on crippling AA. Just don't do anything out of line and everything will be okay.

As long as a guy is socially calibrated and not gamey, sparking a woman's interest thereby lighting up her face and getting #s/instant dates/kiss close etc can be done any. where. Period.

Absolutely for sure, though since this thread is likely to be seen more by guys that are relatively new to pickup that's why I say the mall is better for doing small talk approaches to help them start getting a grip on AA.

You can DEFINITELY get instant dates, numbers, etc, though I don't think guys with crippling AA (and as you mentioned guys with lack of social calibration) should even try to do that without someone there to guide/boost them at least, because you know, it will come off completely unauthentic from them, and any bad reactions from inauthenticity will definitely not help them at that stage. That's why I recommend for those guys to keep the mall for small talk just to keep things steady in the early stages.

Though yes, all of those things are 100% possible. I should have been more explicit in this sense. Thanks for mentioning it.