i'd been with this chick for a year now. i see her 4-5 days a week and sometimes stay over at her house.
when i started going out with her i came from a really strong inner game. meaning; i was the prize, i was the center of attention, i was the coolest guy to be with. had girls here and there all gravitating towards me because i was in such mentality of happiness and really felt like noone could destroy me. but now im feeling like shit, everyone hardly wants to be near me. i stopped working out, i stopped flirting, i simply go to my girlfriend and her friends(co-workers) to chill. but im like left out. i have turned back into afc i sometimes feel that heartbreaking feeling out of no reason. the only thing im maintaining my girl its because i still proyect that image of me being the prize.(no tolerating her bs, walking away if she does something stupid, making her day better than what it was ect). i just dont know what to do i feel like i devote to much time on her, that i have dropped my goals, my inner game, i have created a one-itis. but i have this heartbreaking feeling everytime im away. i dont know what to do. but at the same time im tired of being in this situation. i want to simply be the same old guy that everyone enjoyed to surround with.

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Space.volt

Hey man, been there, done that... I had to bail out of a relationship that was threatening my well-being pretty much the same way you describe it... "Why do you go to the gym so often?", "We're not spending enough time together", "How come you prefer reading to spending time with me"... sounds very familiar... I tried explaining a few times that I already have a life, and that the relationship is just one slice out of my pizza, not the whole pizza... I have as well friends, family, a career, working out, hobbies, personal development, etc... Explaining it didn't work, so in the end I just had to leave her, despite the relationship being quite good...

Thing is, when you allow the relationship to become your whole life, you lose energy, you lose your personal development goals, you lose yourself... In the end she will dump you, because "You are no longer the man I fell in love with"... So get back to your old habits and take some time for yourself... renew your gym membership and make it your disciplined habit to attend at least four times a week, pick one evening a week when you hang out with your friends (if she wants to come, that's fine, as long as they are YOUR friends), spend one hour a day doing something for yourself (reading a book, learning a new skill for your profession, engaging in a hobby, etc). If she has trouble dealing with your adjusted lifestyle, that's her problem, not yours... after all, do you want to spend the rest of your life in the one-itis vicious circle? the later you break the circle, the harder it will be to get back on the horse...

I've actually been in such a situation a couple of times in the past.

You're investing all your happiness and sadness in this relationship. That will definitely damage your life big-time. You either have to make the time for yourself or you'll have to move on and focus more on what YOU want as an individual. As the guy above said, renew your gym membership and force yourself to go and make time for yourself. If she's the one having friends and you're just hanging on to her like you're doing now, she'll DEFINITELY dump you later on and move to another guy, and you'll be feeling like shit for a long time. You don't want that and we all know it.

If she doesn't appreciate your life, don't appreciate her.
You have a long way to go and the best thing to do is to follow what you really want from this life.

Been in the same situation, me and the gf had 1 year anniversary and then 2 weeks ago we broke up..

the problems led to me taking up the possibility of breaking up, and in the end we decided it was for the best...
I tried the same way you do to keep my own needs in mind, but forgot about them constantly. Anyway, if you want to make it work you need to listen to these guys...

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My mind have an idea of what i deserve - i will go beyond it

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people on these forums had the same thing happen to them at least once or twice.

I believe it's all down to the kind of person you are. You can change that but at your core you'll be who you are and always portray the kind of person you are in some shape or form somewhere down the line. PUA, for valid reasons, is considered a sleezy and distasteful "hobby" given it is literally about picking up women through manipulation(But isn't all forms of courtship manipulation? Yes, but in PUA you're aware of it which makes it especially bad in the eyes of a lot of people). It primarily is about picking up random women and sleeping with them, being able to do that when you want or feel like it. It started off as an art to seduce women but has since evolved into a form of male self-help. It's much more about improving yourself, being happy in yourself and improving all aspects of yourself and your life(Internal and external) than it is about women. PUA is now effectively self-help.

PUA, from what i've noticed the past year and a half, gives you the rules or guidelines to operate socially at an optimal level. Follow them and you will fit in and look confident while doing so. Confidence just so happens to be a massive turn on for men and women in the opposite sex. The more socially accepted you are the more influence and importance you exude, resulting in a more confident manner. The fact is a lot of people are awesome. OP is awesome, everyone in this thread is most likely awesome, everyone is awesome... but we never learned the social acceptance rule(s) and never fit in previous to PUA. We didn't understand what was acceptable and what wasn't, what was too drawn in and too drawn out(Too touchy feely/Not touching anyone at all). As soon as we learned the rules, incorporated them into our lifestyles the more we could show how cool we are and how acceptable it is to be seen and hang out around someone who knows how to act. We get results almost immediately because we've gone from being the creepy/loner type to being just in the social circle of acceptance and from there improved and learned more, became more confident and got more results, naturally women were attracted to this. It isn't so much seduction as it is exposing yourself to others where you normally wouldn't.

~Anyway, back on topic... OP, you may not have many close friends. You could have a lot of friends but very few close relationships that would be non-sexually intimate. If this is the case you probably sunk all of your deep needs into your girlfriend. You ceased to seek validation from groups of people and, essentially, got lazy. Your thirst for attention was sated by your girlfriend, you only sought validation from her and were quite happy with that. Due to this you haven't been as socially active, not been hanging out and not put yourself out there because you do not need validation from others in social groups. If this is the case it is not her fault you have become this way. It's yours. The reason for it being is that you do not have close relationships where you should dissipate your emotional needs of intimacy(Friendly, non-sexual needs such as friendship, guys/girls you can simply hang out with and talk to about problems or meet up randomly). You should spread your needs among a variety of people. It's healthy, you don't become too dependant on any one person and you learn to cope with different people.

It's called social addiction and can have serious problems on your mental health. Deep down it's due to your own insecurities. A result of not addressing this problem is you will have very few close friendships, never be happy in relationships and eventually feel the need to move on from one person to the next. It's an "inner" issue.

The irony is the more you improve yourself, the more your relationships with others will improve, often dramatically.

'Game' unfortunately teaches guys that they lack something within, and can't ever be happy with themselves lest they learn to use a bunch of canned routines, lines, and algorithms to get the woman. This couldn't be any farther off the mark.

learn what self-acceptance looks like you to you, make improvement in your life/lifestyle where you feel is necessary, and find your own happiness rather than looking externally for fulfilment your ego will never find.

Look inward, not out.

Hey guys, First of all thanks for the advice..
-Redlight:
i'm a man of action, i already sign up for a kickboxing class
so far its fun i already met 2 girls in there.. I'm also starting to read more
i'm devoting to read at least an hour a day. and i just now signed up for clases
astronomy, speech, visual arts and Photoshop so
i think im gonna be having alot of time to keep me busy, and also making me a lil more interesting
by learning these diverse subjects.
and i started this thing where im getting my friends together to hang out every other sunday.
i can't say i already solved my problem, because i haven't. But i think this is what i want to do with my life
i want to get my shit together and if my girlfriend can't accept that then like u guys said i will let her go.

-Game Sn
You words really got me thinking. i didn't saw myself in the point of view u have. and you are definitely right, it was my fault that i became this way. It wasn't my girlfriend, it wasn't my friends but myself. I let go of the tasks i usually had for myself. i stopped being socially active and only seek validation from my girlfriend. i haven't put myself out there anymore because i felt like i didnt need to anymore.
thanks man.
i was blind to see it that way. now i know what i need to work on.

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Space.volt

Way cool!

Great! Keep doing interesting stuff and you will never have a dull moment in your life... Enjoy!