There's this married woman, she is almost 10 years older than I am, she has a son from a previous marriage, and she is Russian. She is very sexy, and very mysterious. She lives over 1,000 miles from me.

We met over a year ago in Europe, and I was in a long-term relationship at the time. We really hit it off, and spent a lot of time together, long walks at night, flirting, awkward moments of tension staring into each others' eyes. But nothing happened.

She has told me how dissatisfied she is with certain aspects of her life, how her husband doesn't completely understand her, conversations which she later insists were misunderstood.

Since we parted, she has gone on two vacations in my area by herself, and we have shared a hotel room both times. I think these were excuses to see me, but I don't know that for certain. During the last such vacation, immediately after I broke up with my girlfriend, I was giving her a massage before bed while she was wearing a nightgown and we were idly chatting. I stopped massaging her and just started petting her back and arms and face, and rubbing my face against her neck and hair. I think she was into it, because she didn't stop me, but I didn't know how to go further, so eventually she said it was bedtime.

I think I've gotten clear signals that she wants me, but I tend to doubt things all the time. I did tell her recently (text) that I wished she was not married, because she hinted that I was attracted to her, and I decided to just come out and say it.

Now, she is coming to visit again in a couple weeks, and we are staying together again. My questions are:

1) What mistakes have I made up to this point?
2) How do I proceed from here?

I have no interest in a real romantic relationship with her, but we are good friends, and I think she wants an escape for at least a while. She is very hard to understand, as she does not say anything directly. But, I feel there are constant hidden messages.

Thanks for any advice.

Have you had sex with her? If not, you are being used, and even if you did, you are still likely being used. Seriously man, 1000 miles away? It isn't worth it. I have seen more than one person get sucked into this kind of thing and it wasn't pretty.

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No, I have not had sex with her. Being used for what? I don't think I mind being used if it involves sex...

If you stayed in a hotel with her and have not had sex .. then .. um ... yea, end it. You are being used for accommodations, travel, etc.

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I guess. Is it possible that she wants sex and is waiting for me to make the right move?

possible but unlikely, at least from the experiences I have heard of those who were in similar spots.

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So if you were in my situation, you would do what? Spend those few days with her and try nothing?

Well if you are on the trip and you can't get out of it (she already bought tickets/etc. it would just be too dick a move, though if you paid, I would just cancel), escalate aggressively (without breaking any laws obviously!!). I would even make her feel guilty for not putting out. she is using you most likely, so who cares, call her out on it or use an angry freeze out. I would even mutter a "fuck this" and just turn to the other side and go to sleep. You need to make it abundantly clear that it is not ok for this "relationship" to continue without sex in the best way you can possibly think to say that without saying those exact words.

NOTE TO ALL READING THIS: DO NOT USE THIS TECHNIQUE TO OVERCOME LMR I ONLY RECOMMEND IT FOR THIS SPECIFIC SITUATION.

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So yeah, you were totally right. We spent the last week together, with the same sorts of things happening. At one point, I was giving her a massage, and I decided to run my hand up her leg, which she angrily pushed away, and then acted like nothing happened. The last day, I woke up, and went to the bathroom, and when I came back, I sat on her bed and started caressing her face. Then, I started getting more touchy, and since she is a light sleeper, I assumed she was awake. Then I started rubbing my face against her neck and playing with her hand. Then I started kissing her face and neck, and biting it, and licking it, so there's no way she didn't get the message. Then, I tried turning her over onto her back, and I climbed on top of her. When I was on top of her, she said "why do you need me much?" I said "why do you pretend to be asleep?", to which she replied "I don't pretend to be asleep." Then she got up, looked at me lying on her bed, giggled and rolled her eyes, and went to the bathroom. When she came back, I said "I think you like attention", and she said "of course, who doesn't like attention?" We then got ready and left. After she had gone home, I figured I would express my frustration, and sent her a message asking her what her husband would think if he knew about how she behaves. I guess this made her angry, and she said she didn't do anything inappropriate, but rather that I was the one who did.

But I have to say, it was really nice to touch her like that...

Sorry to hear about this outcome. At least you have some closure.

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She obviously was interested in using you. Glad to see you told her how you felt about the situation. But I personally think it's a waste of time trying to get a married woman anyways.

This is on you OP. She was in bed and you rubbed your face on her neck? Dude? Wtf. You shouldve kissed her and gone for sex. She was not using you, you just didn't make a move. Did you think she would grab your face off her neck and kiss you and say stick it in? You shouldve just gone for a real kiss. If she shot you down I could say she lead you on, but all you did was nothing. Then you text her some bs to get her mad? When you haven't even fucked her...No way. This is on you...You did nothing so got nothing.

Married women, you need to be aggressive and make the moves in most cases. That way when she fucks, she can say it's your fault so it wasnt cheating. You don't tell a married woman come to my apt for sex. You say, come to my apt to check this stereo out and then you make a move once there.

I had something like this but she wasn't married. When she came over and wanted me to stay she paid for the room. I would stay with her, sure but she paid for the room. It was her holiday and she wanted me to be with her, why in the hell would I pay? OP... I hope you don't pay for the room because that's the impression i'm given.

Either way, as TheFury said, it's kinda fucked up. You would have thought she at least would have made a move on you after you being so shy about the whole thing! Either that or she thinks you're gay.

And yeah, you should have been more direct. At least gone in for the kiss, a direct kiss while she was awake.

Oh, that chick who came to see me...? Obviously I fucked her.