So, I'm going to explain it all, in black & white. I honestly need your guy's help. I'm going to explain where my low self-esteem comes from, and I'd really like everyone's help... Scratch that, I desperately need your help.

*I'm 21, and 5'4. My height sorta' plays an issue when I'm gaming. Girls notice it & probably reject me for it. I usually turn it into a joke, acting like it don't effect me. But it does...
*My voice is not an extremely deep manly voice. It's mid-ranged and can sometimes be high...
*There's a bit of fat in my mid-section so my groin area may look a bit odd to a woman, so I'm hesitant to hv sex with her. I'm not extremely well endowed either.

Physical summary: due to these attributes and issues I don't feel like a man at all. THIS is what's behind my mind every time I talk to a girl. I don't consider myself a real man. I'm not very masculine like other guys. Making me lack confidence instead of being sexually confident.

My game comes and goes. Sometimes I'm doing good when I feel better about myself but when sets go bad or I think about negative things or get intimidated by how pretty she is I become a total nerd.

Non-physical things: I don't have any real accomplishments on life to pride myself on. I don't (or hv ever owned) a car or an apartment. I live with family (I became sick for a long time and was bed ridden. I eventually got better, thank God, and beat the disease.) I'm also unemployed. Someone could literally tell me that I'm a loser and I'd (in my mind) AGREE with them. I feel I should be honest with myself.

Summarization: If I were to make more money, I'd feel more successful. I hv no success in life. Thus, giving me low self-esteem. I need a way to make lots of money (not for emotional reasons; I just want that lifestyle) and become independent so I can feel like a man and protect her.

Guys, my life is on the line here -- please help.

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

My journal confessions-of-a-seducer-journey-to-gre ... 84193.html Online/Offline, Texting & Reports.

This website may help with the endowment issue. I will have to mention it is nsfw though: www.pegym.com/forums/

Your situation is completely normal, 99.99% of the people would feel the same way under those circumstances named, but you're one of those few people that wants to do something about it, which you should be proud of!

1)Height do matters, it's perceived as an ancient Alpha Indicator mainly, but see the world around you, how many people haven't you seen on history that are low in height? Many! Millions of them! So height, won't dictate your life, you do. By the way, scientists agree that there are way to gain height after puberty, hardly but you can, it's all about effort, read about it online.

2)Deep voice is another Alpha Indicator, deep voice is perceived as more autoritative and is associated with strenght. There are several ways to give this a little turn, search for books or read articles about it, there's many you can do! Also, speaking slowly, with pauses, and louder, is perceived as inner Confidence, try this, make it a habit, is magical!

(By the way, according to researches, replacing a bad habit just takes 21 days, so, there's no excuse, you can do it. Many people could, you can, and you will.)

3)The fat on your body, I think this is pretty obvious, work out and make efforts, do you think people just get strong by staying on bed all day? Absolutely not. You work out and you'll get results. Make a diet, look for internet, there's many information. You say there's just a bit, why would you worry? It's just a bit! You can eliminate it, and easily. Just make an effort.

You clearly have many negative thoughts about yourself on your head, and if you don't respect yourself, if you don't believe in yourself, if you don't perceive yourself as someone, how someone else is going to? Yeah yeah, it's hard because you don't have height, you have no car, but so what? Do you think the great people in this world were born with a car? Haven't you read about people that were freaking poor and they did something, because they wanted a difference in their life, it's effort, effort is really important in this life, ambition is something you should make a part of yourself. A way to begin changing your inner beliefs, would be affirmations, they work, believe in them, and do them, for 21 days as I said before, so you would change a bad habit (Pesimism) that you most likely have.
The world is tough dude, but if you don't stand for yourself, and show them that you can beat the shit out of whoever you propose to, they will do it for you. Look on internet about self help, read about it, and if you have, do it more, there are many things. Look on internet about Paul Dobransky, he's an awesome scientist! Look for David DeAngelo, look for Erik Von Markovik (Mystery) this 2 last ones, started from the bottom, now look where they are. They were nerds, now they are, who they are. They did, and so will you. Trust on yourself.

Thanks for your responses!

To the first guy that msg'd me -- I sent you a Pm...

So a bit more about me: I've actually already changed myself... Mostly. I used to be 270 I now weight 161. I'm not asking anyone for pitty, I'm completely determined to change and better myself.
I honestly do feel like giving up, yet something in me won't give in. This depression that I feel towards myself and my situation is so horrible. My mind is a bit shattered, not knowing how to get out of this mess. I feel like I'm running out of time. I'm afraid.

I just feel that the way I'm viewing myself is destroying myself. I feel sometimes like girls are repulsed by me. I'm so afraid of them, I hv no idea what to tell them. I feel like no girl would accept me, right now.

1) As for height: I looked a bit online and couldn't find anything real. I mostly found stuff you hv to pay for or things that are fake. Do you know of any sites/articles I can check out? IMPORTANT: some PUA's on here say height does matter and looks don't matter -- yet you guys are giving me evidence that it does. Plus, I sorta think pua is mostly marketing. So maybe I'm doomed not to hv woman in my life...

2) as for my voice, I believe there's good material out there that I'll definitely check out.

3) What about being successful in life. How can I start making more money?

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

My journal confessions-of-a-seducer-journey-to-gre ... 84193.html Online/Offline, Texting & Reports.

Try distancing yourself from these people and seek out others instead. Don't isolate yourself.

Alright. let's cut the bullshit I want to have a midget-to-midget(lol) talk with you.

I'm 5'4, and not too long ago I had similar issues.
My height bothered me for years, my voice was high on a regular basis, and I carried false confidence, brought on by my insecurities.

So let's start with height.
1) Height makes a difference but only on those who rely on it.
Think of Katt Williams, LITERALLY a known pimp, is 5,5. In fact I've known 3 people shorter or about my height who attract girls like flies. Height limits you when you allow it.

So how do you fake it? Don't. You're you, you're short that is the way you are made. Height isn't the only deciding factor but you need to come to terms with the fact that it's something you have so little control of by trying to change it you're only letting it become an insecurity. Get past it, we're short. so what?

2) Voice.
Now you don't want your voice to be high pitched that's bad but it doesn't necessarily have to be deep.
First, if you want to have a deeper voice, speak in a deeper tone, your vocal chords will adjust and sound deeper. Seriously, I tried it, worked don't need any extreme measures.

Now, for my method, I don't like my voice being too deep I like my voice being seductive. Think of this, a deep rumbling, dominant voice would attract girls yes, but a smooth mid-tone voice puts a girl in a trance.
My voice is not deep but women love it, especially when it's time to be seductive, I've yet to see a girl fully resist it.

Think of the voice you want ranging from dominant to seductive. Speak in a deeper tone until you reach the level you want. You can test this by talking in your REGULAR voice, this means without concentrating on how you sound.


3) Body
Now I won't lie and say my body bothers me, I've always been a natural athlete with a conditioned body, but there are awesome tips I can give you.
Working out and exercising is crucial to your game. Your self image dictates a strong portion of your self-esteem.

Before I begin I'll tell you: Only you can make yourself exercise. You need to be your own motivator you have to make sure you stay on goal because if you can't push yourself to take the first step to start exercising you won't go anywhere.

Losing Weight
A) Losing weight is all about endurance. When I was a wrestler in school we constantly lost weight. So begin by only eating when you are hungry. Food becomes fat when it is eaten as a luxury. When something is eaten not because the person is hungry but because the food taste good it becomes fat. Eat only when you feel hungry.

B) Sweating. put on hefty clothes and exercise. Sweat is fat crying, the more you sweat the better. Now if you're really trying to lose weight (and this is a bit unorthodox) cut 3 holes into a trash bag and put it on and some hefty clothes over that. The heat from your body insulates within the bag making you sweat more. KEEP HYDRATED!

Muscles & Body Language
This is crucial and I sincerely hope you read this part.
When people see me walking they see confidence, I have been told countless times by several people.

A) The Walk.
Walk comfortably, shoulders back, head up. Work from there. Don't focus too much on your walk just think of who you want to be and become that walk. Carefree? Rich businessman? Womanizer? Cool guy? Become the walk.

B) Standing & Sitting
Keep your body relaxed, if you're standing straight up posture, shoulders back, and relaxed. Keep your thumbs in your back pocket, this spreads out your body making you look dominant.

Building Your Body
I won't go deeply into detail BUT I will give you a quick tip to strong noticeable body.

A) Shoulders.
Your shoulders are IMPORTANT, people notice them quickly and decide their opinion on your body. Broad shoulders are attractive to women and will make you look very much more dominant.

To work these out take some dumbbells, slightly heavier than you would carry and stand straight up while holding them and shrug your shoulders up and down. Simple as that.

B) Pecs
My absolute favorite.
Since I started working out in high school pecs have always been my strong point, everyone notices them even more than shoulders I could go on and on about how I enjoy having my pecs but seriously dude, AWESOME

Anyway, for pectorals bench is the best way. Now the wider your hands are on the bar the more your pectorals are worked. smaller weights build endurance, bigger weights build muscle. Work low and then high, get your muscle endurance up and the bigger weights get easier, earning you bigger pecs/muscles.


I have things I have to go do so I'll stop here.
Feel free to PM me. I've worked hard securing my confidence & Inner game especially with short height so don't be shy to ask for advice or anything.
Stay cool

- Zealous

In middle school I was really small, so to compensate
you should put tissue or something underneath the insole of your shoe.
Recently I've seen commercials for something that does the same thing, but
if you just shove something in there it's free of charge and you gain like 2 or 3 in.

Self Esteem is like a roller coaster - you have your ups and downs.

I've been on a low for the last 2 years I'd say. Spent 2 years battling major joint pains, then having two relatives go through cancer and then die, then I got sick for several months,finally got better, then my Dad had emergency surgery and is still recovering.

Height wise I'm also 5'4" .. Two years ago I was much more confident, now I think I'm emerging out the tunnel and seeing the light. I think the important thing is to not give a crap what others think and be your own person. You are who you are. As long as you have good health that's the most important thing.

Look at Steve Jobs, had like $8 Billion .. where is he now? Dead and buried.
My cousin was practically the same age when he died of cancer. If you are healthy then be thankful. There are people that are 6 foot tall but in a wheelchair. No matter how badly off you think you are, there are millions of other people around the world worse off then you.

First you need to be thankful for all the things in your life that are good.

I went through a lot of sickness over the last 2 years but one thing it gave me was a thirst for knowledge on health matters. I now use my knowledge to help people become healthier. I've been told by a relative that is a trained doctor I know more about good health and how to cure illnesses then he does.

You can totally change your outlook on life just by flicking a switch in your mind, you just need to find the trigger.

Two days ago I was going to meet some friends in the next town - going out at 10pm at night - which for me is very late to start a night out (normally I like to start a night out around 7pm), but I got there, parked my car and got a text message saying the others were going home. At first I just wanted to turn the car around and go home but I thought, I've come all this way let me check out the town centre and see what it is like .. being January it's not that busy but there a huge nightclub in the town.

I was going to then go home but I thought let me check out the club .. went in on my own and then hit the dance floor, in total I was dancing for about 4 hours and loads of people approached me on the dance floor.

Because of my small size people approach me thinking I'm cute, etc
I'm actually a lot older then most of then but I look young, especially when I put my contact lenses on.

Now you can take randompeople coming up to you in different ways but for me it felt great because for the last 2 years I've felt invisible - I'd walk into a room and no one noticed me. That night loads of people noticed me. It was good to finally be noticed. And I used the opportunity to start practising things like eye contact. One of the things I'd been doing lately was taking nutrients to improve my eye health and I could see that by the simple fact my eyes felt healthier I was able to open up my eyes more, look more people in the eye without turning away and be more approachable.

And the more I danced and interacted with people the more I felt my confidence build up.

Towards the end of the night I noticed one girl who was very tall and slim with massive heels on maybe she was about 5'7" but with 4 inch heels, she totally towered over me, but guess what she noticed me as well and even came over for a bit of a dance. I knew I wasn't going to pull her, I didn't even really want to .. but what felt great was the girl I most fancied in the entire club of hundreds of people actually noticed me and came over.

I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Right now I feel like anything is possible and it is. To be totally honest I'm not even that interested in picking up girls ... What I'm far more interested in is what the whole PUA thing represents which is overcoming your fears and learning to grab the life you deserve. For so long I've let fear stop me from doing the things in life I really wanted to do. And a lot of the PUA stuff is about facing your fears and overcoming them.

Right now I've got one girl that is totally into me - she's several inches taller then me, the height difference don't bother me and it don't bother her ... the only reason I'm not seeing her is cos I don't fancy her .. what I don't fancy about her is that she moved her from another country 5 or 6 years ago and isn't doing anything with her life .. I've tried to encourage her but she aint interested. I want to start grabbing at life all the good things it has to offer and I don't want to waste my time with someone who wants to let life just slip by.

I could easily take advantage of the situation and make false promises, etc and get the girl into bed, use her for sex, etc but that's just not the kind of guy I am.

I also just lost out on a woman I thought was my soul mate - met her online and after weeks of chatting up to 8 hours a day online was due to meet her - then turned out she was 8 weeks pregnant which she didn't know and for obvious reasons dropped me in favour of the baby's father and they plan to move in together and raise the kid.

Until that moment I thought finally God had rewarded me for all those years of good behaviour and not taking advantage of women and sent me my perfect soul-mate. Then totally out of my control it was all taken away from me.

There was also one other girl but we won't go into that ... What the experience has taught me is that women are to some extent full of shit. They can literally be into you and within a single moment go off of you totally. They are creatures of circumstance, and if their circumstances change just one bit you can go from being a hero to zero in a split second.

Everything we think we know about women is wrong. The women we have in our minds are actually invented by men. Men are the real romantics, it's men that invented poetry, high heels, make-up, sexi underwear, etc all the things that make a woman beautiful were invented by a man. Men put women on a pedestal and they use that to their advantage. 10+ years ago I went to a dating event where men pay to get in and women get in for free. The price of the ticket also included food. What did I find when I got there? The girls had brought their mother's ... aunts and some their grand mothers with them for a free meal. They weren't there to find men, just get a free feed at our expense. Women are creatures of circumstance .. they take advantage of whatever circumstance surrounds them.

Women use men, it's time we all manned up and started claiming our rightful places in life.

Right now my most important goal is self improvement from the inside out.

I've managed to get my physical health back on track... now I'm working on my confidence.
Fear is the number one thing in life that stops us doing the things we really want to do. .. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection.