Sh!t hit the fan.

I'm hoping some insightful member here might be able to help me stitch this relationship up immediately, or help me find a long-term solution to stitch this up. If it is even possible at this point.

This story is long as fuck too... I don't know how else to tell it and keep everyone on the same page about what has transpired.

And so it begins...

One day back in 2011(maybe even late 2010), I signed onto Xbox Live and joined a guy for a game of Gears of War 3 (Horde Mode). That day, I was in a don't-give-a-fuck mood about everything. A little bit into the fighting, I hear my friend talking to this chick in the party. He was being very AFC talking to her obviously trying to get get her to like him. I thought it was odd behavior. And I chimed in. I broke into witty conversation with Valera. She was receptive to me, and I continued to keep a some witty banter with'er. I don't remember the conversation, but I do remember being in some sort of untrained gaming zone with her. The game ended on a high note.

I'd like to point out that during this time, the only PUA material I knew of at the time was Kaptain Krunch's Confidence Thread stories at bodybuilding forums.

For the next countless months, I would catch them in a game. And whenever I logged in, I was always greeted by her warmly. "Rom3!! XD" We became friends on Xbox Live and continued this until it was just her and I initiated games and often times just having a fun conversation with each other. Then we got distracted with life and lost contact for a while.

Quite some time went by, we talked a few times in between this, and I eventually got her Facebook and her phone number. During this gap, I got into a self-improvement mode while going to a vocational school. I was getting into The 7 Habits of Highly Effective people, and a couple PUA stuff (Carlos Xuma, and some other stuff that went into texting). I eventually graduated the school and landed a job with a big ass company. It's 2013 now. After a few weeks my 40 hour shifts turned into 58 hours a week, 6 days a week. And some point during it, I felt I ingested enough PUA information, and felt I was in a good place with myself personally (inner-game?). And so, I decided to start practicing.

I decided to pickup contact with Valera again. Through my previous conversations with her before, I learned she had a girlfriend and that she was sharing an apartment with her. I blew it off as a too bad, I guess this one is off the table. However, I decided to continue talking/flirting with her anyway; besides she seemed to enjoy me. So, I started texting her during my late shift. Oh and one of the smoking guns to my late night texts to her was her insomnia (i didn't know about it at the time, I just would forget I was actually up later than most people I talked to (worked 4pm-3am)) and she was in between jobs.

Now, I always kept the texts fun and flirt whenever it felt okay. A lot of the material I would use on her (no reall patterns or routines, just trial and error) I would usually use on another girl first that I wasn't too attracted to. If the text played well with the the other girl, I'd use it on Valera. I eventually came up with something original from another PUA's suggestion. He said to tell a girl you just met, "Hey I'm gonna text you something naughty" and no matter how she responded, follow it up with the text "Something naughty. " I decided to spin it my own way. I told Valera I'm going to text you something naughty. I let the curiousity build a bit, then asked her, "are you ready?" She said yeah, and I sent her a picture of a post-it note with "Something NAUGHTY! =P" written on it. I felt like that was pretty good.

So anyway, this went on for a while. I eventually started to realize this is the kind of girl I've been trying to find in all the other women I've dated. I was definitely really admiring this girl now. The flirting started to get a bit more sexual, and eventually out of fucking nowhere, she texts me: "You're the only guy I'm attracted to on any level." Now, I have a suspicion of what brought out her feelings for me.

As I said, I was always flirting with her and keeping the texts as playful and fun as possible. And this playful mindset ended up playing a role in a dream. In the dream, her and I were running around and ended up climbing up the side of a boat that was on top of a building. When I got up onto the boat first, I turned towards her and helped her up. Thats what I told her. I tolder the dream had a feeling very playful and fun. Shortly after the text, after feeling her responses, I told her a detail I left out. I tolder that when I was helping her up, I leaned down to her first, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. And that she playfully told me to stop it and help her up, and that I kissed her a few more times like this in the dream. Her response was something like, "That's cute =)"

She started sending me videos and pics of her, and we started sexting. And eventually doing intamate stuff on SPAM. Her GF caught wind of our flirting, and odd enough said she was actually okay with it. But her and I started to get worried, and we decided that, if we could get her GF on board, we'd be okay with having a polyamorous relationship; I wasn't interested in her tomboy GF, I was falling in love with Val, and I feel she was getting strong feelings for me based on her telling me she can't imagine living the rest her life with out me, and without her GF, thats why I offered polyamoury. She confronted her GF, and her GF said she only wants a Monogomous relationship; she wasn't pissed or anything, just talked like a human being. Valera and I knew that she may one day have to make a choice, however, in the mean time we would try to get her in on some games and SPAM with us to get her to enjoy me more in hopes she'd open up to the idea. That never developed, yet we kept doing what her and I like to do when the GF wasn't around.

And then, we couldn't hold it in anymore, it was time to meet. Oh, and when I first saw her on SPAM, I fucking melted (corney i know) she's just the kind of girl I'm attracted to. I'd say she falls between and HB6 or HB7 depending on ur taste, but either way, she's really cute. I booked plane tickets to see her.

FRIDAY

I landed in her state in the morning at the airport, she greeted me with a warm hug and a cute smile. I hopped into the car with her and we eventually went to their place after eating. During the drive, I made sure to keep conversation going between all three of us. I honestly felt I got along with her GF well. We hung out at their apartment and just killed time gaming and chatting while figuring out what to do. Her best friend was finally home (separate apartment in the same facility), and Valera took me over to meet her. Valera her GF and I were in there shooting the shit. Valera was standing most of the time, then she ended up sitting on my thigh during the talking. Her girlfriend left home before we were done talking with the friend. Valera texted her, and when I confronted her about this, she said her GF wasn't upset she was just tired (i'm sure that was a lie from her GF). We eventually said our goodbyes and went back to her place. Some time later her GF went to bed. Valera and I took separate showers and then got close to each other on the couch and started playing Dredd on Netflix.

Neither of us were interested the movie. We were looking at each other and holding each other for a bit. We kissed, she moved her hand up my leg; I was in my basketball shorts with no boxers on, made for easier access. She found my rock hard penis and started to feel it and stroke it. We started to get a little hot and heavy, then we stopped and decided to not do it then because her GF was in the other room. We setup the air matress, that she purchased just for my visit, we kissed and said goodnight.

SATURDAY

The next morning we finally have the apartment to ourselves after he GF left for work/school. We talked and stuff, but it didn't take long for things to get physical. Before we could get to sex, she said her GF's coworker fucked up her cycle, and it had started a week earlier than normal, and had also caused hers to start early too. We were under the impression that sex was unfortunately off the table. I then ignorantly tolder that I once heard that being in the shower during the cycle sometimes stops the spotting during it (something to do with being in the water). She said she would like to try it. And so we went for the shower. I got naked, she took off everything but her panties. I got sincere placed my hands on her hips, looked her in the eyes and asked her if she was ready to do this. She looked at me with the cutest smile and affirmed she was ready, and asked me to go in first (she wanted to take off the pad and panties without them being seen; she didn't say it, I just knew it). She joined me, she's beautiful, a bit a fat but enough to not be a problem; besides she like exercising and stuff, she'll tone up eventually. We made out, felt each other all over, I penetrated her doggy style. It was going good she wasn't spotting. She started giving me head without me asking for it. It was THE best head I have ever received. And she wasn't even doing it like she knew what she was doing, she just had a natural understanding somehow. I stopped her before the pleasure made me cum and I went down on her. I was licking her, and fingering her and then I noticed red on my hand. I quickly rinsed my hands and face in the the shower. It was mostly gone when I stood up, so she was unaware what just happened. I was aware though, took a second for the blood taste to leave my mouth. And so we fucked some more, and I felt the temperature of the shower getting cooler. We finished up with her sucking me off to blowing my load in her mouth. And she actually swallowed it. I was so stoked about that.

We hung-out the rest of the day just cuddling on the couch and learning about each other and getting use to talking to each other face to face. We started to get physical at some point, and I stopped it turned her to me and made sure to reassure her that this isn't all I wanted from her. She had told me that a couple time before too when we would sext or sex-cam. And so, her GF eventually came home, we gamed, watched movies, went out and just hung out. During the times we weren't alone we were often making loving/cheerful glances at each other. Come the evening, her GF went to bed early because she had work the next day. Valera and I hung out in the living room, got a little physical/sexual but didn't do much because her GF was home. I was sitting on the floor leaning back, propped up on my arms, legs stretched out in front of me. She was laying down with her head in my lap. We lost track of time, and then all of a sudden we here her bedroom door slam. We instinctively sat up and made ourselves look like we weren't doing what we were doing. Our night was cut short, and she left for her room to talk with her upset GF who saw us together the way we were. And I went to sleep alone.

SUNDAY

The next morning we took her GF to her work and headed off to do some site seeing. We had a really good time and lost the car in the parking lot when we were ready to go back to her place. It was very odd for both of us, because we were usually really good at remember where we parked. We were just so caught up in each other that we didn't pay attention to anything else, including her GF, which would soon backfire.

We got back to her apartment hung out and started having sex on the air mattress. She got a dark towel to absorb any menstruation during the sex. It looked like I was fucking a virgin, I even smirked at the thought. We had sex for a bit and I pulled out and blew my load on her stomach. A bit of time hanging out passed, I got her to changed into just jeans and this sexy blue triangle top that she said was perfectly too small on her. I sat on the couch, and she leaned into me as I felt her up and we madeout. I took the top off her, and she started giving me head. I stopped her, and we stood up, making out, moving around her apartment. She eventually noticed her phone had a message. She went to check it, it was her GF. She missed 3 calls, and had two texts asking Valera where she is, why isn't she answering. She tried to call her girlfriend a few times with no reply. She was getting worried, the guilt trip of all we had been doign was sinking in, now I was worried.

We barely talked while waiting for her GF to reply. She started saying she felt like she is a horrible person, she's never cheated before. I tried to reasure her that she wasn't. Sitting on the couch, I swallowed my pride and told her that our feelings developed after she was already with her GF, and that their relationship comes first and that if I have to I will step back (i almost teared up, and she saw it). "You really are a great person." (I really hope that didn't put me in the nice-guy/AFC zone). Her GF eventually replied saying she needed to be picked up, she forgot her bus pass. Feeling barely relieve, Valera demonstrated a bit of relief and said it was just like her to think the worst. We left to go pickup her GF and that looming feeling of guilt didn't leave us.

We picked up her GF and you could cut the tension out of the air. The drive back was very quiet, very little conversation was said. I could see a bit of confusion in her GF, wondering what was going on. We decided to get a movie and some pizza. While waiting for our pizza to go, at the restaurant, I did my best to keep the conversation like when we met on Friday. I managed to get by, but the tension was still very present. We went back to their apartment, Valera and I sat on opposite sides of her GF as we barely ate any of the pizza because of our destroyed appetite. The time came, and it was time to take me back to the airport.

The whole drive to the airport I was thinking of things to say, things to make it seem like its all okay and we can turn this in a positive direction. We got to the airport, Valera was seeing me off, her GF sitting in the car alone. I hugged her, then placed my hands on her shoulders. I told her that we got so caught up in each other that we forgot about her GF. And that maybe we just need to take a step back and re-approach this with a bit more respect. I then looked her in the eyes, and tolder her, "I love you." She gave me the most priceless shy giddy-girl smile. I then gave her my pack of spearmint gum, in hope to anchor that feeling after saying I loved her. I hugged her again. Then went to her GF and told her it was good to meet her and hugged her too. And then they were off.

AND THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL BEGINS

I walked into the terminal, I was feeling devastated. I wanted this weekend to get physical to leave an impression that I am who she needs. I thought it would be okay, based on passed experience. But all it did was leave it on a bad note with the emotion of guilt. I felt like we ruined it. I had a beer, and held back my tears. I boarded my plane then set off for home.
After this, texts get fewer and far between and she stops texting me first thing in the morning or conveying how she feels. I start worrying that anytime she feels bad its because of the guilt of what happened. I call her a few days later, and try to talk to her about whats going on. Though I instinctively felt I shouldn't bring it up at all and just let it go away. But I felt I gotta step up and try to remedy this. We talked for a bit, I told her what happened at the airport, that I cried a little. She apologized (i was fucking up, I shouldn't have told her that). We got on SPAM, the spark was gone. We talked for a bit and then she had to go when her GF got home.

Some days later
Texts get increasingly distant, I have no idea whats going on at her place or how she's feeling. I start texting her and get her to remember the fun she usually has with me. She blurted out, "I miss you. A lot." I lost my texts after this, but I tried to be witty and told her something like, 'I can't see why. =P' I don't think it went as well as I planned. I tell her I feel like she's be distant, and she apologized for it.

Eventually, she texts me telling me she was fighting with her girlfriend that morning. I asked her what happened, if she was okay. Her girlfriend was demanding that Valera and I stop talking to each other. That she doesn't trust us together and she was right to feel that way. Valera said she'll tell me about it over SPAM. She never signed on or texted me to get on. I never found out the outcome.

Facebook

Some weeks later, I'm at my best friends in another state, celebrating his new promotion. I get a message on Facebook, it's Valera's GF, "You kissed my GF." I read it in the notification screen, so she didn't know I read it. I didn't know what to say, I had no idea what she actually knew. So, I just let it be. Valera texts me later. She said that her GF was mad, saying that I was ignoring her on FB. She didn't know what her GF said to me, but she requested I don't respond. And that she is mad, and that she has every right to be. I told her I didn't plan to respond and that I wont. A couple days later, I accidentally clicked on the message, then blew it off again. Her GF messages me, "???" I don't sign on to FB for some weeks after this. It was getting to dramatic and I needed to focus on landing a job.

Then comes last week. I finally landed a job. I decided to get back onto Facebook. Valera was gone, no where to be found on my friends list. I was livid! Her GF was still on my friends list, which I thought was odd. I decided to confront Valera, I sent her a text:
That was Saturday (Nov 23rd, 2013). I sent her one more text, trying to get her to tell me whats going on. I read some stuff from the PUA In$stinct, and tried to apply what I just barely understood.

Me: Val, I feel something about us isn't quite how it should be. You and I have had always had so much fun together. We could barely sleep with the anxiousness of finally meeting. =) Which was amazing. And Ever sense I flew back home. we have hardly talked.

No response

I have been giving her a lot of NC days trying to give her space, and worried that my NC was misconstrued as being uninterested, I decided to lay the rest of my cards onto the table, and make sure she was aware that I do miss her, and that I just wanted to give her space. And that I still love her, and respect her. Which is why I'm still not going to pry into whats going on at home.

And here is the final texts I sent her yesterday.

Me:
I can't stop thinking about you. Though, not neglecting my life. Look, everyone deserves their me-time. And so I've been giving you space, against my own hearts wishes. So, understand that I haven't been ignoring/avoiding u. I just wanted to give u time to sort things out. And not feel forced to tell me what's going on at home.
Valera, I want you and I to share our lives together. I want you to tell me how your feeling so we can be there for each other.
And Valera, I know you love me. We both feel it. The only reason we even crossed the line we did is because we're perfect for each other. I love you and respect you.
(now trying to rekindle how we normally feel around each other without this drama)
Think, remember how much we enjoy each others company. Every time you knew I was looking at you on SPAM while we were gaming... That feeling deep inside that love we feel when we see each other (we had talked about that couple times)... Texting each other first thing in the morning, I loved that. =) The fact that you and I were actually getting full nights sleep. (She was having bad insomnia, and I had mild insomnia before we started really being happy with each other's existence) And having those great feelings no one else has been able to provide... I'm happy with my life Val, and I know we're each other's completing element. I'm going to continue not to pry; I respect your space. Just don't let this once in a lifetime opportunity to be with our perfect mate pass us.

End (probably its literal end too)

I'm pretty sure that text was as AFC as it gets, but I was hoping its what was need to be said; esp if we really are on the same page as far as being in love with each other. And I haven't heard from her, nor do I know if the final texts have reached her. Her GF has removed me from her Xbox Live friends list as well.

I honestly planned to complety go NC. A girl cheated on her BF with me once, and felt bad about it. And when she told me she felt bad, via text, I just kinda blew'er off. Three months later, "I miss you so much Rom3." So, I thought maybe I should go NC with her too. But, that Facebook shit happened, and I got all stupid. Now, I'm hoping I at least didn't get too AFC with that last text, and left her knowing that I do love her still, and that I'm leaving her to her vices.

--- I need to learn from this, if you read all this I'm ready for any feedback. I need to learn from this. ---

You got needy. End of story. Move on man she lives too far away for anything serious anyway.

Fair enough, I got needy. Now, what would've been the better way to go about this?

In that situation it was doomed from the get go. The GF wasn't chum with the idea. She let her GF get you out of her system. That's what happened there. You met a chick playing xbox live, flew who knows how far for her and dropped "I love you" on her the first time you meet in person. Be glad you got laid, man.

Oh, and as someone who has a serious problem with attracting lesbians. I'm telling you, it's best this didn't work out. Lesbians will hook up with dudes. But they're still gay. I hooked up with one two weeks ago. Slept there again this weekend thinking I'd get some again. She stopped me as I got her naked and confessed she just couldn't do the straight thing... It's like the fifth time I've been down this road with a gay chick. Some times it lasts a month or two. But they always go back to the puss.

Don't tell her you love her after meeting her once and as soon as you landed back in your own state, get out and sarge some girls. She was probably just a bit bored of her relationship and wanted something from you she wasn't getting from her GF (other than the obvious cock.)

This