So ive been seeing this girl for about a month or so... from what i know so broke up with her ex because he was needy etc and she couldn't take it anymore.

Everything with us has been going good. We don't spend every hr together but the time we do we have a really good quality time together.

Yesterday she posted online. "Why do they always come back when your happy".

Then this morning she posted so so confused why me.

So my thought is her ex got wind that she is seeing me now and is scared so he is filling her head with all good things.

What would you do in the situation. I know making a girl choose never works but idk if i should blow it off like it doesn't bother me or i didn't notice or should i bring it up and do what doc love suggest make her decision very easy for her. im going to ler her choose him. i don't know if this is a good idea or not? What do you guy think and what would you do if the ex comes back into the picture?

It's already over if you start to worry. You said things have been great - so why are you letting this affect you? Get off facebook and do something useful with your time, she's a big girl and should be able to handle this.

Your reaction should depend on what you want, and what kind of girl she is.

If you're into her and she means something to you, then you have to make her feel that. If she isn't, then just be happy to continue nailing her. In other words, who do you want to be? The guy that she relies on day in and day out for anything and everything she thinks she needs? Or the guy she has fuck the shit out of her when she's single or shit is gone south with her ex or anyone else for that matter.

If you want the former, she will choose the guy who makes her feel more. Women always do.

[quote="vhou812"]Your reaction should depend on what you want, and what kind of girl she is.

If you're into her and she means something to you, then you have to make her feel that. If she isn't, then just be happy to continue nailing her. In other words, who do you want to be? The guy that she relies on day in and day out for anything and everything she thinks she needs? Or the guy she has fuck the shit out of her when she's single or shit is gone south with her ex or anyone else for that matter.

If you want the former, she will choose the guy who makes her feel more. Women always do.[/quote]


well i want this woman to be my girlfriend eventually. I always let the woman determine the label but things have been going well so far except for this. I did ask her what she was confused about and she said just things and we went about our convo like i didn't even ask. So im keeping it light and fun like the type of person i am. Do you think there should be something i do or say that would help this along in my favor?

True in general, but doesn't apply to this situation - he should not react. There are other ways to make her feel special, not by communicating to her that he's worried and "thinks" her ex is trying to get back into her life. This might not even be about her ex, tho it does sound so.

@DasaniMal: show that you care, but don't get hung up on a status update she posted on facebook (correct me if I'm wrong and she actually posted online to YOU in person. As long as she doesn't talk to you about it, don't react).

so everything has been going great with us but she keeps posting stuff online that bothers me. Today she posted "I hate that i care so much when i know i shouldn't" and "im sick of the excuses". You guys would just let that blow over and not say anything? I haven't brought anything up to her yet but im started to think maybe i should... Should i let this blow over since we continue to hang out on a regular basis? Maybe im spending to much time should i pull back a little? let me know what you guys would do? thanks

Have you slept with her?

[quote="neo87"]Have you slept with her?[/quote]
Yeah many times...she isn't just a hookup tho. She carries a picture of us on her keys introduced me to parents etc.

If you're exclusive there's no good reason for her to keep her ex around. If it was me I'd give an ultamatum.

One of my closest friends became an obstacle for my gf and I (the friend hates my gf and wasn't amenable to resolving matters. If you're serious about your partner you don't let other relationships intrude.

That said We don't know for certain she's struggling over her ex or not. Have a talk w her but if it turns out she's struggling i d extricate myself from the situation.

After one month she carries a picture of you 2 on her keys and you've met her parents? My guess is she's one of those emotional girls who falls fast. Anyway, the statuses show she is thinking about her ex (or at least another guy) and probably in contact with him. IMO that's messed up because I won't date someone and meet their parents if they were doing that. Same way I'd be confused as hell if I were dating a girl, met her parents and she wrote about another guy she was seeing. She's sending mixed signals. If you haven't moved on from you past, don't make things appear serious when you're conflicted. You can talk to her as n2 suggested, my guess is it's about the ex so as he said you may have to leave the situation until her head is clear. During that conversation when she says she is still thinking about her ex, I'd tell her fine, let's take a step back. Not as an ultimatum, but because it's better for ME to not be 100% when she's not 100% there. Keep your options open...she is.

Perfect post listen to this advice OP

We haven't established an exclusive relationship all thought she spends all her free time with me. I still have other girls i hang out with potential but she is definitely the girl i would make a girlfriend when the time is right. I always like the girl establish the status or label of the relationship. From what i know they were together for awhile a cpl years and recently she broke up with him a cpl months ago. Pretty much the same situation as I. Her post today was ""sometimes you miss the memories not the person" so i guess it isn't that bad. She is a constant social media whore and post multiple times a day so i guess that is just how she is. So im not going to bring it up unless she does to me.

Since im hanging out with her alot every other day. Should i pull back a little and skip a few days of not initiating convos or asking to hang out?

for example i didn't msg her this morning as I normally do and she sent a txt saying i hope your ok and have a good day babe! So i guess i need to pull back a little more because ive had one girl itus haha what do you guys do when your presuing a potential gf material?

See this case is different because the girl your talking too is most likely talkin to her ex. Personally I would scale it back on hanging out with her so much but I'd start withdrawing a lot of the emotional feelings you have for her right now because you don't really know where she stands when it comes to her ex, you don't want to be the one messed over.

[quote="Themagicalone"][quote="DasaniMal"]We haven't established an exclusive relationship all thought she spends all her free time with me. I still have other girls i hang out with potential but she is definitely the girl i would make a girlfriend when the time is right. I always like the girl establish the status or label of the relationship. From what i know they were together for awhile a cpl years and recently she broke up with him a cpl months ago. Pretty much the same situation as I. Her post today was ""sometimes you miss the memories not the person" so i guess it isn't that bad. She is a constant social media whore and post multiple times a day so i guess that is just how she is. So im not going to bring it up unless she does to me.

Since im hanging out with her alot every other day. Should i pull back a little and skip a few days of not initiating convos or asking to hang out?

for example i didn't msg her this morning as I normally do and she sent a txt saying i hope your ok and have a good day babe! So i guess i need to pull back a little more because ive had one girl itus haha what do you guys do when your presuing a potential gf material?[/quote]
See this case is different because the girl your talking too is most likely talkin to her ex. Personally I would scale it back on hanging out with her so much but I'd start withdrawing a lot of the emotional feelings you have for her right now because you don't really know where she stands when it comes to her ex, you don't want to be the one messed over.[/quote]

Yeah I get that...

tonight she is coming over to see me for a little bit after work. She posted today "say something im giving up on you". I haven't brought anything to her attention or talked to her about this. Everything seems fine with us and it might just be song lyrics.

Do you guys think i should bring this up tonight. Since girls love drama and we haven't had any. Should i be mean about it and show her im upset or just calm and collected and ask what the hell it up?