| Hi there,
I am pretty sure that the headline got some attention. As this is supposed to be an introduction I will jump right to it and let you guys figure out why I chose the subject line.
I will go on this board by the name of Invictus85 (as everything else I could think of was already taken), am currently 27 years old (turning 28 next month), and live in the Tampa Bay area since July of this year.
When growing up I was a little heavier set but not fat and never unattractive as such. I was pretty popular in High School, being Editor in Chief of the school paper and Student Body President, held some of the parties that old classmates still talk about, and general was the go-to guy for everyone. While I generally performed well in all other areas of my life, women were somewhat of a mystery as I was oblivious to flirting or body language, basically not having a girlfriend throughout all of High School. I think that this may be in part of being raised by my mother, not having any male role models in my life as such. She did a great job raising me but let's be fair to the woman, she did not really know what women want or attracted to and it was not really her job to prepare me for that either.
I always found myself busy with some projects and really was still both a virgin and single by the time that I was 23. I had decided to change a few things by then and started reading David DeAngelo's Double your Dating, which in hindsight is not the best work out there but at least gave me some hints that actually made me a little more attractive with the other gender and eventually landed me my first girlfriend and first love which I dated until the beginning of 2013.
Now here is where the kicker comes: Wen I started dating her (HB8/ HB9 Asian) I was the equivalent of her wet dream. I was fit, muscular, interesting, funny, just the right amount of badboy to keep her interested, and right on the verge of "having my life in order". Ironically, after finally landing the girl of my dreams, my life went pretty much down hill, ranging from my business to my health. I ballooned to over 355 lbs and generally have to admit that she is a warrior for sticking it out with me that long. Of course, with my body being shot and my other prospects evaporating, my confidence quickly dropped from being god-like to being the arch- AFC. After all, I was dating HB9 and what did I have to offer her? So I became the little beta that tried to ensure that the last good thing in his life wasn't leaving and basically by being beta pushed her away.
In March 2013, she finally decided she had enough, had a spring break trip and went wild. Ironically we are still friends, go on runs together, and even if I wanted I could not avoid her as she basically lives ten houses away.
Now when she left me, my world fell apart. What did I have to live for anymore? Why even bother? I went into a hardcore depression that was accompanied with panic attacks and didn't really function until May, when I decided that enough was enough and started turning my life around. I had after all lost everything already, the girl I loved was dating other guys and hurting me by telling me about it, and I had hit rock bottom.
I started working our like a maniac, spending hours every day running and in the gym, to the point where I am now only a few more months from reaching my goal weight and physique. I started building my business back up to where I am short of a few product launches that may ultimately become my total income stream. Yet, that was not enough. So I started devouring all I could find on how to attract women. I read The Game by Neill Strauss, I read The Manual by W. Anton, How to become an Alpha Male by John Alexander, the Mystery method, the Tao of Badass, several dozen books on behavioral psychology, documentaries on human attraction, and watched in Marathon sessions Gambler's YouTube videos and everything else I could find there.
Now I am at the point where it is time to kill of the Fat Loser that I once was and become that interesting Alpha Male that I was supposed to be. I am rebuilding my life, turning into who I wanted to be when I was younger, and trying to just find my place in the world.
My goal for now is to see how many girls I can successfully lay as to rebuild my ego, which was crippled during the last few months, and eventually either get over my One-itis or if I feel that I had enough girls, win my HB9 Asian back, as she seemingly likes to keep me around for some weird reason.
I am looking forward to many amazing discussions.
Invictus85
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CHAT