I see a lot of posts on here from noobs saying "What do I do next?" and "Confused... URGENT Help needed asap!!". Guys worried about this and that. But I think it all comes down to the biggest hole in a noob's game, which is not insecurity, fear of approach or lack of escalation. It's lack of sexual experience. A lot of guys can get girls interested and get a few numbers and kisses, they believe they are being successful with women, but they FEAR the pressure of having sex. Closes are meaningless until you have sex. I have personally witnessed girls ready to have sex with a guy and I watch the guy looking nervously excited but terrified of the reality of it. "Manning up" as Magikal put it, is about taking responsibility. Take responsibility for your own learning. Stop expecting everything to be spoon-fed to you on a plate.

Get really good at sex. If you're inexperienced or you're a virgin, read all the information you can about becoming a beast in the bedroom. Learn how to make a woman squirt with your fingers. Watch instructional videos. When I approach a woman , my relaxed nature and confidence does not come from my social skills, it comes from the knowledge that I know for a fact that I can make this woman cum hard and have her quivering dripping with pleasure in my bed. Read books on what turns women on. "My Secret Garden" by Nancy Friday an industry standard on the subject. Lead in the bedroom, don't be afraid to be rough. Let her please you. This is a huge turn on for her. I remember one of my girlfriends even said she would rather give up sex than give up blowjobs. Such is the desire of submissive women who are eager to please.

Stop worrying about approaching and what to say. None of that matters. Become a master at sex and your confidence and horny energy will pull women towards you like a magnet. Approaching won't feel like approaching, it will seem like the start of a natural sexual romance between man and woman. Let's stop dressing up pickup as if its some "mystical secret gentlemen's club". Don't forget we are here to learn how to fuck high quality women. That's it. Your goal should always be sex, not "100 approaches in a week" or "10 phone numbers a night". Fuck that shit, counting approaches and collecting phone numbers is a shitty reward. Screen your women and cut out the time-wasters.

The goal is always SEX. Your confidence will only improve when you have more sex. Become a sex god and everything else will happen naturally.

I'm surprised this hasn't had more comments over the weekend - very much agree. Looking back now, this was my main problem for a long time. I was confident, reasonably good looking, could chat to women fairly well, even had a lot of experience of kissing girls in clubs etc. (so my escalation was obviously decent), but because I'd only ever really had sex when I was drunk and had had alcohol helping me go that final step, I was always a bit unsure of my sexual skills. After a few compliments/girls shaking/screaming with pleasure etc. the final piece of the jigsaw was there and I'm now far more successful with and more confident around girls than I have ever been.

I disagree. I do not think that fear of sex is an issue for most, I think it is fear of rejection which is by far the biggest impediment to success at game. Yes, some guys fear their performance, but really, they fear a girl will reject them/say no to their advances so they settle with what they got and don't go for more.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Fear of rejection is fuelled by lack of sexual confidence.

If you have hundreds of lays under your belt, you're not thinking about getting rejected and you also don't care about getting rejected.

Fix the goal, not the method it takes to get there.

As 7000 mentioned, there's a lot of guys out there (including me when I first started) who kid themselves that they are successful with women because girls are receptive and they get a lot of kisses but not enough lays.

Teachings noobs to mass approach 1,000 women is useless and counter-productive if they don't know how to make her cum. I'm saying they should start at the end and work their way backwards. It's quicker and more efficient, instead of wasting time going through all the "bases" and "stages" like phone numbers, texting and dinner dates etc.

Throw them in at the deep end. The learning curve is steeper but produces faster results.

" I remember one of my girlfriends even said she would rather give up sex than give up blowjobs."

MARRY...

...HER

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Unfortunately her love for sucking dick extended outside our relationship, so reluctantly was forced to demote her to FB...

Yes, the best way to seduce is to go for sex as fast as possible. I agree w/this 100%. But it is not performance anxiety that slows most guys, its fear of rejection.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

I will trade a FB like Pokemon cards with you.

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I think the PUA forums suck now. There's not much point in visiting them or giving advice. Too much bad advice being spread and self professed players giving their own opinions on PUA without knowing any tried and tested methods or following anything in general.

A year back these forums were better, more vets but now... Useless altogether which is making PUA pretty useless if you get into forums like these. Honestly, i'm giving up on PU... My progression has regressed tremendously since first getting back into PU and following most of the advice on these forums. Some of it was good, and a few I would trust with their advice but 90% of it is useless AFC talk or guys trying to soothe their egos when they get blown out of the water -- or even worse, guys who simply have no interest or attraction created and instead of walking away creep and perv on women like a predator to his prey(And not in a complimenting way!!).

I didn't realise this thread was all about you?

Do go on... We can talk about you instead !!

.

GamesSN is so tough, he once fell into the ocean...but he didn't get wet....the sea got GameSN'd

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Lolbro!

Back to topic, another point about getting good at sex is it means women are more forgiving when you do something wrong.

Women wouldn't be cheating half as much as they do if their men were actually fucking them properly.

I don't think it's a one or the other debate when it comes to rejection or sexual performance anxiety. Obviously there are plenty of people who have both.

However, I would agree with hunter on the performance anxiety bit. The thing is with rejection, is that if you know you can give a girl a great time,you aren't that worried about rejection because there are plenty of other girls who will go for you. Linked with that, I don't doubt, is simply the fact that to become good at sex you must be having sex, and when you're having regular sex you start to become better at picking up girls because you become less needy.

I would actually say that one thing which beats both of these things (certainly for anyone more advanced than complete noob stage) is a lack of sexuality/sexualisation. Being able to chat to a girl is fine, but if you're not sexual with her, you won't fuck her. And I think that is where Hunter's point comes in, because I think being sexual with a girl stems mostly from having confidence in your sexual ability and knowing that you could go and blow this girl's mind at any moment because you know what you're doing in bed.

Shit bro, you're onto me!