i need some help with my POF profile. i just need a couple new set of eyes to look it over. i feel as if i need a good headliner. something intriguing or funny. i have a couple selfies and a couple of me with different friends. any sugestions on how i can improve it? i dont really get much attention so i know im not doing something right.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=63105806

Don't capitalize "ARMY." "U.S. Solider" or "Military" works. I have mine simply as "Veteran and Student" to signify that I was in the service which often gets their curiosity and end up asking, "What branch were you in?" and thus, conversation has started. Every girl on that island has encountered servicemembers walking around out in town with their backpacks full of dicks, raging high-n-tights, and motard shirts with their dog tags hanging out that screams something stupid at every girl he sees. The only ones who go for those guys are the dependapotomouses who just want your money anyway and leave you with a nasty case of the clap.

I would also put that you don't drink at all because you're 20. That's a good way to get in some ish with the military. I've seen it happen.

"Fitness and nutrition out are where I gain my most discipline and outlook on life. I love cars, EDM, and nightlife. I love learning and meeting new people."

First thing I noticed was grammatical errors. While some chicks don't really notice if its good or bad, many do. However, proofreading will definitely NOT count against you.
As for how to spice it up though, I'll leave that to someone a bit more experienced.

Profile wording decent, throw in a joke though. Good DHV pics, but you got too many looks like you're trying too hard or full of yourself, 3-4 pics is what you want.

Other than that, pass mark.

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