Today during one discussion I recieved a hurtful comment from my AFC buddy which ignited stream of emotions inside of me because it invoked lots of thoughts about my low self-esteem, confidence, inexperience, inability...all those shenanigans. Ofc, it hurts mostly because its true...I am not a half a man i want to be and its frustrating. I very rarely react this way to any form of bashing/insults and in social situations its easy to turn in into joke...so I am very skilled in covering up being frustrated/insulted.
However, in situations like these where i get flooded with emotions after initial coverup with a joke, emotions still persist and build up and my general mood spirals down, I withdraw, talk less, lose good mood...etc.

So I am not really sure what to do about it. How to stop the flood?

Hey buddy,

You're not the only one, I get called stuff like 'creepy', 'trying too hard' etc. by my AFC friends a lot when I talked about going out practicing while they're sitting at home playing video games all day. It's normal to feel hurt when someone says something bad at you, but remember a very very important rule in this game: "Never Seek Validation from Family and Friend." You will face a lot of resistant from your peers, but ultimately you will give yourself the validation to build the inner confidence that is unshakable from external remarks.

You already called him an AFC friend so I'm guessing he's unaware of the difficult self-improvement journey you're embarking on. When feeling hurt by such comments, usually I'll use that as a motivation by telling myself something like "One day, I'll be the most charming, confident and intelligent guy you ever known!" or just simply ignore it and focus on thinking about the positives like the little success of approaching 10 sets in a club last week etc.

Hope this helps.

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You only have 2 choices; either you cry and accept who you are, or get your ass out there and try to change yourself.

I can completely relate man.
My good friend who I've known for years is a huge AFC, does nothing but video games, no social life, great to be around when in a good mood but as soon as something he doesn't like happens (like girls or group not giving him full attention) he gets mopey and silent, the whole fuckload of the AFC bundle.

So with him being a close friend I invite him to stuff to get him a glimpse of daylight and socializing and he would do or say something that he thinks is funny but of course would either be hurtful, lower value around girls, or just plain uncalled for.
When I was more AFC I didn't know how to handle it and would laugh along, pretend it didn't hurt, or just go quiet, maybe even lurk away from the group, cause my mood is jacked up.
After getting my inner game tightened up I hung out with him and my reactions to the things he did that would get under my skin were natural things.

The irony in trying to hide emotion is that it does the exact opposite.
So when he would say something that used to rouse me up I'd either blow it off by responding to the comment with "maybe" or "I guess" and making it seem boring and insignificant
or just being straightforward about it "That's not funny, that's just a comment that's uncalled for"


What you have to keep in mind is you're not better than anyone else, and no one else is better than you. Everyone has faults and the people who have the most trouble is the ones that can't come face and admit their own faults. You're not perfect and you can't be, but you're who you are as your own person.
Don't get upset over someone trying to make you feel inferior, because the most they can do is try unless you let them.
Oh and stand up for yourself. if someone crosses the line, let them know it.

Thanks for the input guys. However, I don't think I was clear enough. I am pretty much 95% resistan to all kinds of personal insults, jokes, etc. I don't care about them because I know who I am. However there are those 5% that sometimes hit the spot. Now, on 100% of them I will react properly to seem unaffected to other people, however, those 5%, for some period of time (could be like from 30 minutes to whole day) will linger in my mind and burden me and naturally ruin my mood to some degree.

So, imagine you are somewhere out, with friends or just on a date with some girl and someone says directly or indirectly something that unexpectedly affects you. What will you do in that exact moment to stop emotional overflow and get yourself back up to good mood?

Try this, wear a bracelet or draw a little symbol on your wrist. Make it simple so you can avoid explaining to everyone what you drew. Have a meaning behind it that you will remember every time you see it. In your case have the meaning behind it be "WORDS DON"T MEAN SHIT", or something of the sort, feel free to personalize it. So now every time your emotions are taking over you will see your bracelet/drawing and think "WORDS DON"T MEAN SHIT", to return back to your normal mindset. If you try this, only wear it when your with a girl/expecting to be talked down. If you wear it everyday you will become used to its presence and may not think of it. I have a bracelet from Greece that i wear when i'm out riding to remind me to grow a pair, not bitch out, and send it, and I draw a box with an X through it on my wrist to remember to stand up straight, give good eye-contact, and be a man. It works alright for me, tell me how it goes.

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PUSSY, MONEY, WEED.