1 year LTR. Girlfriend mentioned that a friend of hers (a known slut) floated the idea of the two of them taking some trip, possibly Thailand over their winter break from school.

How should I feel, and how should I react? Advice I see in this forum for similar things ranges from 'be cool, don't show you care, it's harmless' to 'hard next immediately, she obv wants random dick'.

I'm sure that not acting emotional/upset is a good idea, but wonder if I should put my foot down in a self-controlled manner. I'm pretty sure I can keep her from going (or get myself invited), w/o resorting to a breakup ultimatum, but I wonder if I would lose hand / seem needy / reduce her attraction. I'm not planning to say anything immediately, as I suspect it's not likely to pan out.

Also, I could probably convince an ex-gf and her female friends to do a Vegas trip at the same time. Wondering if I should let my gf know I plan to do that if she insists on vacationing w/o me.

If it's Thailand then don't worry, the place is teaming with super fit Thai hotties who know how to approach a man. Your GF won't even get a look in unless she's an HB10.

Putting your foot down will show your neediness and kill attraction, tell her to go and have a great time because you totally trust her. Use her trip as a reason to book a trip with the guys to Tenerife or Majorca; she can hardly complain if you do....

Why are you so worried about her going on this trip? Have you taken her on any nice vacations? Sounds like an unhealthy relationship anyways.

Women need time with their friends... that way they can get all the drama out with them and not you. If youre in a healthy relationship and youre making your GF cum right the thought of her sleeping with someone shouldn't concern you.

On the flip side if she does need a random fling, who cares? People need variety...over time. If she has some one night stand on vacation she might satisfy some need she has while on vacation and not treaten the relationship back at home. It ends.

And lets be honest here, my GF has much more to worry about if I do a guy vaca than the other way around!!

_________________
My personal mantra:

"Every woman's a whore in the right situation"
"They're all selling it for something"
"She's sluttier than you think she is"

Thailand is a very easy and party central place but it's also a lot of fun in general anyway. Lots of drugs, lots of partying, lots of drinking, lots of sharing rooms and rough living and lots of people from all over the world.

It's not a place you go to if you have a relationship for a "Just girls holiday". Then again, depends where she's going, there's some nice places but why not go with her LTR bf?

I'd dump her and move on if I doubted her intentions.

If you doubt her intentions with this vacation, then simply talk to her about it... If everything else seems to be just fine, theres no reason not to trust her. Just dont be a controlling boyfriend, if you feel weird about it, have a simple talk with her about it!

_________________
My mind have an idea of what i deserve - i will go beyond it

He might already be a controlling bf since he's got some issues with her vacation.

OP , this is what you do.

You say : "Have fun".
You also mean it.
You don't let her know what you will do if she's going w/o , because it will seem like retaliation.Unless she insists on knowing.
You won't be an insecure poosay about her going to Thailand.
You won't cause a scene.


You shouldn't go on vacation with your ex only under special and rare circumstances.

As always ,if she's gonna cheat she's gonna cheat and there's nothing you can do about it.
What can I say ? It's a gamble. But it pays off. If she cheats now you dodge a bullet(win). If she doesn't cheat , in Thailand of all places , you win again(majorly).

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

you definitely need to give the access to your girlfriend. this is very important that you give the space properly. it is very necessary for both of the people. i hope this will help.

LET HER BOUNCE, if she comes back actin weird.. Your already at the pale to start your new adventures with women.. and honestly if you question her, maybe you should go open your options more see if shes worth it..

I made an issue out of my girlfriend wanting to go off on holiday with her friend and in the end I was seen as controlling.

So in all honesty just let her go. If you want to go on a holiday to somewhere party centralised later on she cant say shit to you.

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Peace,
Leo

Keeping signatures original since: Wed Oct 09, 2013

DO NOT ASK HER ABOUT IT! DO NOT "HAVE A SIMPLE TALK ABOUT IT!" What R.C said"If she is going to cheat she is going to cheat"

Another very good point was mentioned by MRbreeze, sometimes people need to have some variety, does that make her a bad person? I don't think so, its up to you OP, but nobody is perfect. If you two are relatively young, or "young spirited" individuals then this point becomes even more valid. The meaning and connection between you two won't change if she satisfies a curiosity she has. If anything it will allow you two to move on to better things.

>Don't mention it. Wish her well on her trip and tell her she better have fun!

Best wishes
S.E.E.D

Every ex-pat/tourist I ever befriended in Thailand had a boyfriend. . . at least this is what every single one of them have told me. Hey, it doesn't matter if they are slutty or not, nobody wants to be perceived that way. Even some men who go there to fuck as many hookers as possible will tell complete strangers that they are on business and checking out historical sites. Since this is a PU forum, for the record, if you kids ever visit Thailand, game any non-Thai girl out there there. They are there to F but they want people to believe they are there there to snorkel; of course they have "meaningful relationships" back home. They also know they have stiff competition so they give it out like Santa on Christmas night. And just because they look Thai does not mean that they are. If you are in a ex-pat rich area, higher end clubs, or obviously touristy beaches, many travelers will be from nearby Countries. Unless you chat them up, you won't know.

Now that you understand ^this, you can do what ever the hell you want to do. Ruin her once in a lifetime vacation to travel to a tropical destination to fuck strangers from all over the World (or even have a fantasy that this could happen) or you could beg to join them. This reminds me of a time when I lived out in SEA and a friend from the States came to visit, the guy brought his girlfriend with him. He insisted that she begged him and demanded. Not only was he bummed out for the 3 days we spent time together, it ruined my 3 days as well. Absolutely hell with that nagging, jealous, nosey, noisy, judgmental piece of shit around. Since I am a gentleman, I even bought them dinner and took them out every night there were there. They broke up as soon as they got back any way. I'm getting carried away.

Well, here it is: she is going to fuck. If you can't handle the thought of some strange 45 year old hairy Bulgarian/Nigerian/Brazilian/Israeli/Mongolian, etc . . . dude's cock shoved deep down her throat, or the thought that these hairy dudes will force your girl to stick her tongue up his hairy ass while she screams, "I love it", then play the 'we're married in a really really closed Christian marriage game' and tell her you are going or she is staying. Of course there are thousands of different ways to deliver the message but it's really one thing or the other right? By the way, I've heard that the acts mentioned above can be an interesting sensation for both the provider and the recipient as the power of Thai peppers can last through the digestive tract but I bet this is just an urban legend.

Oh . . . and at this point of their conversation, I am giving it a 10% chance that the trip actually comes to fruition. It takes a lot of effort to put a good trip together and for some reason, 2 ditzy girls, no matter how close they are, rarely put it together. 2 guys... no problem. One organized chick, no problem. A group of girls with one leader who plans everything, no problem. 2 chicks usually = a back and forth ping pong game of ideas.

*That idea about setting up a vegas trip with an ex and her friend so that you can lose $500 bucks at black jack and jack off to hotel porn while your ex and her friend gets picked up by dudes in a night club for an all night orgy at the dudes' penthouse suite .... all so you can get your girlfriend 'jealous' so that she might give up on fucking strangers from all over the World in an exotic setting? .... Doesn't sound like a good plan to me.

I went to Thailand and my girlfriend stayed at home so it was the other way round. This is what she did. She didn't whine just told me to have a good time enjoy myself. She also told me she is missing me and we kept contact during my holiday but she was cool with it.

However she had no chance because by the time we met I've already booked my trip. And I went alone.

I think the best thing to do is to let her go if she wants to. Tell her that you will of course miss her and shit but you want her to be happy. When she goes go out and have a shitton of fun and don't even try to think about what she might be doing.

The cooler you act the less likely she is going to do anything stupid trust me.