| So after a pretty tough weekend of sarging and learning some rookie lessons all over again. One of which was the Jeffy mantra "Don't say stupid shit" I actually managed to salvage going back to a girls place on Sunday night. This is not a SNL but kind of a Day 3! I won't go into the details. So she opens door. I walk in and kissing her (she won't go for the open mouth kind so I calibrate). Get into the room, more kissing, some chat, ask her to join me on the bed (she comes over), I ask her why she doesn't French kiss me (felt retarded saying that) she changed subject. More chat, I ask can she massage, my top off her massaging my back (tough game of rugby on Saturday, so it felt amazing). I turn over she is on my crotch I sit up, we make out (open mouth) things heating up, I start kissing neck chest , chat, we move over to computer put some music on, she sits on my lap, it's getting late you better go. I exit. Feeling a bit disheveled. Now to be fair I did stop some of the kissing and chat commencing so it wasn't just her.
Cut to me driving home thinking: Why the fuck didn't that go anywhere? Was I moving too fast? Where was the fire? I know she's into me, was she nervous? Why didn't she join me in amping things up?........................OH SHIT!
It was then I realised two things:
1. She didn't say 'no' to anything!! She complied with my requests!
2. I didn't actually lead the kissing to any level bar topless kissing.My sexual intent was missing. So her sexual intent was missing!!! I did not send out the 'We are going to fuck' vibes.
I text her this morning trying to save the situation with "Sorry about last night I got the impression I was moving too fast and made you uncomfortable". Anyway that one is probably gone (unless my text was as sneaky as I think it is). However there is a great lesson to be learned here chaps.
As the RSD guys are always saying YOU have to lead! Your job of leading isn't done, even if you think you're home free (i.e. making out in her room). You have to keep pushing for more, unless you get REAL resistance. All in all, we are in this to get laid so when the opportunity arises GO FOR IT!! In this example I should've pushed for more e.g. tried to get her topless, maybe offer to massage her a wee bit in return (just thought of this now, damn it!), even amp up the tempo by more passionate kissing and more caressing, tell her I want a sneak peak at her ass and play fight over trying to get at it, hell even a few statements of sexual intent would be good. All in all her silence was compliance and I didn't read the situation right. Two frustrating lessons learned for me! I will not make this mistake again!
- Jack
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