hi friends,
I broke up with my ex about 8 months ago, the relationship wasn't good we were fighting too often and lost respect for each other. After I broke up with her, she has been calling me almost everyday and begging me to come back to her, I have been answering her calls cause she has a sickness, which is autoimmune and starts when she is sad.

I have been trying to take some distance from her, but without making her too upset, as you understand I am not very successful. She is now in the hospital the last month, yesterday she wanted me to promise her I would go back to her, I didn't and she had to go to the intensive care. I got a message from a friend of hers telling me that and also trying to convince me to go back to her.

I am pretty freaked out about it, I don't have a little peace, if I don't answer her calls, she is calling me like 30 times and writes my friends. I don't know how to handle with it, I told her I had slept with other girls and this didn't put her off, I thought about telling her that I have a new girlfriend but I am afraid what's gonna happen next, somehow she gets too sick. I feel sorry for her health, but she is holding me hostage in this situation.

Any advise how to deal with it?
thank you

Pretty bad situation you're in...

I'd say be there for her when she needs you, her life depends on you.
When things get better and her health recovers to the best level, confront her.

Look man , this seems like a very important decision.


Does she have a best friend ? A really close family member ? Someone who she can level with and trust entirely ?

You need that person. You need to meet him / her and immediately establish what needs to be done here. You should be 2 people that want what's best for her , and that is you out of her life asap.

Your relationship ended. Quite some time ago too. You cannot be the one who gets her over this , because if you do , should this ever happen again guess who's gonna be in the exact same spot again ? That's right , you.

She needs her "guardian" to be someone that is there for her , not someone who's only there for fear of potential consequences.

You cannot be the one to get her through this if you ever want to hear the end of it.
I cannot stress the importance of that fact enough.


Also having such a unwanted and yet major responsibility on your hands is not only extremely detrimental to her ,but also to you.

You have one shot at this. Make it count.

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she has an older brother that she respects and listens to, but I have never talked to him. I'm gonna contact him and try to find a solution.

Don't give her any more hope.
And talk to indeed a guardian that should help her come by it.
That disease is sucky but it's tbh not your responsability.
If she calls you 30x/day and shit like that she is stalking you, gtfo.

she called me again today, I told her that I want to talk with her brother, this freaked her out and we had an argument. She doesn't want to have any contact with him.