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| ZealousR | PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 3:43 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2013 5:33 am Posts: 89 | | I was hanging with a couple of good friends and being typical guys we would bust each other's balls.
Long story short friend 1 complimented friend 2, a genuine sounding compliment which I don't even care to remember.
so friend 2, jokes about it to which friend 1 replies
"Hey hey hey, just remember I gave you that compliment and I can take it right back"
Not trying to mentally masturbate this but it immediately got me thinking about how outer-dependent people can be because of a few ego-boosting words.
Does no one actually realize that they give so much value to someone's opinion of them and ignore that the compliment can be taken away because it's just a few words that show someone else's opinion of you, that can be taken right back
And how genuine is something that can be stripped just because it can?
So instead when receiving a compliment or genuine comment about you don't just let it uplift you, internalize it.
If someone says "You're a really charming person" don't just accept it.
At later time think of it again (Am I a charming person)
Justify it (yes, I don't give fake compliments, I'm charismatic, and I make the other person feel good)
Confirm it (I know I'm charming not because I was told so, but because I have a charming personality)
and before you know it, you'll exert more charm.
If you can do this then you can also screen out bullshit people give you because they're fishing for something
you won't becoming some AFC who's dependent on other's opinions
and you can even screen out fakes from the friends who you actually want to be around.
You can be told you're the cool guy and have your ego stripped
Or you can be the easygoing Alpha who can't have who he is taken away.
Think.
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| Slip n Slide | PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 2:06 am | |
| Offline | | PUA Forum Leader |  | Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 4:55 am Posts: 1232 | | Cool.
I read somewhere that those who compliment people ("You're really smart!") are seen as the trait that they called the other person ("Wow, this guy is pretty smart to notice that person is smart!").
Compliments are healthy. Laughing at jokes is healthy. But they can also be unhealthy ego-validation. Compliment others genuinely, and receive compliments genuinely. But true value is always beyond the words.
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