This may be a bit long, so bear with me.

Like many of you I was a complete chode and a virgin before discovering PUA and testing it out, with not much confidence in my own abilities.

When I first started in pickup as a newbie, I loved it. I loved pushing myself and putting myself out there, getting a lot of success in each night (although I only got laid once in the beginning). More importantly, it positively transformed my perspective of myself in a very short space of time (3-4 months), so much so that my best friends were genuinely shocked and thought it was all a front!!

Once I began to realise my identity as an alpha male that girls love, something happened. It was like my mind said, "Why should you risk all that you've worked so hard for?" I recently discovered this is fear of rejection.

It's a bit like trying to give up an addiction: my conscience and my own aspirations tell me to go out and have fun sarging and whatnot, but my emotions are giving me resistance and telling me 'No, you'll risk your own state by approaching girls.' As a result I'm only approaching very minimally, and I barely ever pour my heart into it. On some nights it feels like a chore, and it's draining at my motivation. This has been going on FOR OVER A YEAR NOW, and although I've still gotten a lot of dates and fucked 6 girls this year (not good enough for me, but still...) I'm starting to notice that my alpha-mindset is almost reverting back to what I was.

I know what I must do (which is to DO as much as possible for my development each night), but I need your help to kill this sticking point dead! Preferably people who have overcome their fear of rejection and find genuine enjoyment in sarging, if you could please give me any pointers that would be great!

Cheers,

Ninja

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email cheers!

I have the same problem, bad AA and a fear of rejection. But I read a fantastic book called "The Chimp Paradox" which teaches you how to manage your emotional mind and you're logical mind. Your emotional mind is far stronger and responds to stimulus such as perceived threat in situations which your logical mind knows are not threatening, such as approaching women. You can't fight or subdue your emotional mind, but you can manage it, usually by "talking to it" by listening to it's worries and what it fear might happen and calmly reinforcing it with statements of logic that you know to be true. It's difficult to explain, and it takes practice, but it is very effective.

I began to combat my AA but simply asking women for directions, or for what time it is, because once you're already talking to a girl about something nonchalant and about which you're not outcome dependent, it gets easier to move the conversation along elsewhere. It's not a great opener, but for getting you in the right state of mind it can be very helpful.

There's also a routine from Style which goes along the lines of "Hey, I'm looking to get rejected... You know when you're in a bad mood, you see a guy approach and you just can't be bothered, no matter how good he looks and you shoot me down..." I've never tried this, but I can imagine it's pretty disarming and you could hook them into a conversation pretty easily.

I like that line of Style's, that could be pretty funny it's quite paradoxical in that you say one thing but immediately explain your intentions to the girl, clever that.

I understand, so it's like rationalising your emotions. I can rationalise that this fear is not realistic and in all honesty quite stupid , but it's more about convincing yourself of that when you're actually in the field and you're under attack from your own emotions. Will have to give the book a read through

I used to do something similar when I began preparing for my first sarge/meetup in Manchester. It made me feel amazing and so unstifled. My excitement poured through and just made everything awesome! Did like 20 conversations, felt right out of my comfort zone! One of the most awesome days of my life sounds like I could replicate this, just trying to get into conversations and warm myself up and feel happy

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email cheers!

One thing that helps me is I get in "THE ZONE" I played cricket with a guy who once told me "go out on the field every week knowing (not thinking) you're the best player on the park, knowing you can handle anything these fuckwits can throw at you because you're that fucking good"
I've applied that to every aspect of my life and more importantly my game, through positive reinforcement and a lot of inner game work, in time you'll begin to believe that you're the best thing to happen to these girls! If you can combine that with the fun element of game you'll be sweet as a nut!
Look up some RSD videos on YouTube RSDTyler finds it genuinely hilarious when he gets rejected! And I think that's the best way to go, he also speaks about "freedom from outcome" which will help with your rejection and also approach anxiety if you have that. enjoy your game it comes across to women and they're much more likely to respond positively.
Go chat to a stinker for shits and giggles! I love pushing boundaries with them and going too far to see them reject me
I hope this helps buddy!
Júan

Good stuff here. I just wanted to add that there was this thing I read awhile ago. here it is.

If you are feeling AA or your confidence is lacking or whatever. Just think back to the hottest chick you have ever been with. even if it was just a date. She liked you right? she was digging you. you escalated perfectly. She gave you those puppy dog eyes. She wanted you to rip her clothes off and dominate her. Now, why wouldn't every girl want you to do that? The answer is.. they do. They just don't know it yet.

This is what I repeat in my head every time I'm feeling down. She liked me, so the next will def like me.

Here's a little helper too. So last night I was watching the Cardinals game and this chick was over at my friends place. I was in sweats and scrubbing hard. I started with light convo. she asked me one question and I just smiled and said, in my head, game on. I'm talking to her and we were talking about confidence and chicks and I told her this story about how I was at the bar the other night and I approached these 2 hotties. And one of the first thing they said was wow, your really confident. (I'm laughing cuz I'm really not and slowly getting it back) I was like what? guys don't hit on you all the time and they said NO. Can you imagine that? guys don't hit on the hotties? do you know why? So I asked the chick at my buddies house and she said that they don't get hit on because most guys are pussys! I knew this but I just liked her saying it.

Thing is. You don't need all this extra bullshit. All you need is Confidence. body language(don't face her until you know she wants it, and then I still don't face her.haha) Humor. The minute she starts asking you questions try to steer the convo to a sexual topic. then DHV confidence. and make a move!

One more, guys do you think talking about actually gaming is a good idea? Cuz I made out with that chick later that night and I talked a lot about my game and my moves. Maybe something to think about.

TOTALLY!
Well, it works for me anyways! I tend to talk about it and show them exactly what I do so I give examples of kino escalation and then I'll be like "so come her I'll show you an example" it's so funny to watch a girl know exactly what you're doing but you still do it anyways and she just laps it up!

Thanks for the enlightenment dudes! It's funny because the hottest girl (or one of the hottest girls) I've ever sarged, I hooked up with and did actually end up dominating in bed haha!

It's always the most simple observations that seem to lift your spirits I find, like with Dionysiux said. Last night for example, I was a little stuck in my head again, but managed to open a group of girls who I thought were quite cute. I hit off with one of them, and even in my low state of not escalating/making a move she's still there leaning into me, sticking around to talk to me. My value as a man is the same, I've just interpreted it differently/not recognised it.

With give the positive reinforcement techniques a try also, see how it goes!

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email cheers!

Whenever I mention game btw, I mentioned how I used it to overcome my degree of autism and developed my social development. It's something I have a lot of pride in, and it generally makes people think 'Wow'. But I only ever mention it VAGUELY. Don't go into all the technical shit

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email cheers!