Hi Everyone,


So I went on a date with a girl, and a few hours in I asked her, what would you do if I kissed you, before that she seemed interested, I did a lot of kino and she didn't shy away.

Her response was, don't - and she said she was in a bad place because of her ex. She also said don't take it as a sign of being not interested as she takes weeks to know if she likes someone - she also said she's only been on three dates, and had one relationship. She also said lets be friends first.


At this point I went AFC, and talked about my ex and dreaming of her because she seemed like a good person to talk these things with. Whilst I'm over my ex completely I still dream of her as there are a few financial things which have now taken a legal turn which I worry about quite a bit.


Anyway - apart from even more kino (I was already doing a lot!) what else should I have done? I did a few routines and comfort building. Should I have waited for a second date? Heck is this even salvagable? She seemed like someone I could make friends with if I didn't ask her out - think masculine pride stops me saying yes to being friends only.


Thanks for reading.


Dave

Don't use a line like "can I kiss you" or "what would you do if I kissed you"...

If you're feeling enough of a vibe from her that you're going to say that, just lean in and do it. Even if she cranked her head around and gave you the cheek, it wouldn't have been MORE awkward than her saying "don't", and then going off about her ex.

You're likely just out of practice dude (First date in 4 years). Go on a few dates with some other people. You'll get back into it.

Kino is important on first dates, as is having a solid, confident attitude. Be funny and show her a good time. Always try to kiss close if you're interested in a day 2.

Haha I don't think I've ever been good with girls. I'm here to learn though. Do you think it's salvageable? I actually quite like her as a person and wouldn't mind her as a friend any tips on how I can go down either route through texting?

Do you have an indication of her interest level after date #1? If you're texting or talking regularly still, and you're interested, then you should just ask her out again... She might say yes, and she might say no... Then you'll know if it's salvageable.

If she says no, who gives a shit? I mean really... It was one date. Find someone else.

Consider rejection a learning experience. If you're just getting back into dating, there is going to be rejection and you will fuck up and make amateur moves. We all have. I still do.

In my experience texting seems fine for building comfort and getting sexually suggestive and playful - but there's a real need to talk either on the phone or in person after a certain point (also good practice). You can really only do so much via text and it's a lot harder to make a connection through the magic of emoticons.

I left it by wishing her well. She just wants to be friends - I've purposely stopped talking to some of my social group so will probably text her and just hang out, see what happens.


Generally is it worth keeping in touch with girls as friends if they may know cool people? or will the rejection automatically make anyone she introduces me to view me in a negative light?


Tbh when I think back, her only signs of interest was meeting me and not being uncomfortable with kino.