I've been a long time reader but this is a first time post. Never really been one for relationships so now that I'm in one I need some pro advice.

Situation: this girl kissed me (S) while I was seeing someone else (B). S had something about her that I'm much more attracted to than usual and I've never been one for relationships but this attraction I have for S made me want something more. So I dumped whatever B was and moved on.

Relationship: S didn't want to put a title on it after a couple months of hooking up which was perfect for me and I loved it at the time. we became exclusive and started spending more time together, then because her room mate went on a trip overseas for about 6 weeks or so, I spent the majority of that time at her place, her asking me even when I would just tell her I was going home she would ask, never me requesting it. We spend most of our time together, and now I find myself wanting to put a title on it. she however shows that she doesn't. It's been months now and we haven't said that we love each other, which I'm cool with, but when a friend joked about it when we were both out drinking one night she said "He never says that to me" and got all sad.

I can't figure this out because when it comes up she says, "I just want to be sure and in love before we use that title" I haven't eluded that I want to be in a relationship, but when people ask what we are? she says things like that.

On top of that she is difficult to read because she constantly shows she wants to spend time together but when we're apart she will start conversations over txt and then blatantly stop replying maybe her trying DHV me?. I never show this bothers me, because that's needy so I just ignore it.

So my question is there something I can do to take a bit of control or should I just move on and not deal with it?
or am i just being needy? need a second opinion

Keep being a fun and awesome guy and fuck her brains out. She will bring it up eventually, if you've pushed for a title before, lay off for a little while and enjoy what you have.

Ask her to be your girlfriend. She obviously likes you.

Not sure who's advice to follow but ill play it by ear if it comes up ill say something and report back. Cheers.

I agree with Rough Operator.

Don't bring it up. She will. Enjoy what's happening right now.

I agree that asking them outright is fine, and I've done it successfully before, but she has shown some previous hesitance when the subject has been brought up before.

just play it cool and keep fucking her

she just wants a bit of fun


if you want more why dont you say something like 'I quite like you, your not that bad really are you!?'

its quite a sweet thing to say and she will probably reply with either 'oww thanks' or 'I like you too'

then you can judge from there

Fuck putting a title on it. Titles are trivial. You really think the title that you and her decide on makes any difference to what your relationship is? No.

You've agreed to be exclusive and you spend a hell of a lot of time together. That's a relationship, that's boyfriend/girlfriend.

Her want for a title will come eventually, but it won't change a damn thing. You're in a monogamous relationship with her already; whether she likes it or not.

UPDATE:

I went on a trip with her and it was one of the greatest times I've had with just a girl, at one point we were at a bar having drinks and it got serious, we talked about past relationships and she brought up that she was hurt by a previous bf and when I asked "who was it?" she was hesitant to say, she replied "you know who I've dated, its embarrassing to get hurt like that after feeling that way about someone". Clearly she's afraid of it, the problem is she can be very distant when little disputes happen. so I feel she can be a cold person, maybe having the conversation now in a subtle way and depending on her reaction I should just move on before it gets really serious?

The sad thing is I actually like her but I guess its karma, I've been with a few girls and I've never felt this way about them no mater how much they told me. So I guess maybe it's Just the reverse now?

I just wanted to speak my mind because I haven't achieved anything thanks for the advice guys.

+1

If it was brought up before and she hesitated, there's rarely any good in pushing the issue. Just keep having fun and let her bring it up. She will eventually and she'll respect you more for it IMO.