it must be my Disney-induced lobotomy, but I fail to see how "attracted to other woman" directly goes to "cheating" without anything in the middle. I will make you an example. In the social circle of my ex girlfriend, there were a couple chicks that I would have totally banged. Did any of that happen? Nope. I was a loyal monogamous boyfriend as long as it lasted. Yes, in spite of thinking other women nearby were hot. There's more than a dick to a man. Or there should be at least.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

I didn't say it leads to cheating. I said part of the whole monogamy fairytale is that you have to hide the fact that you're attracted to anyone else, which is a dishonest way to live.

Also, you didn't bang those girls because you couldn't have if you wanted to...and you know it. You're just moralizing your lack of options with some kind of High Horse "more than a dick to a man" stuff. I agree, but your motives are not honest.

Had those girls been throwing themselves at you, and you'd turned them down, it would be a different story.

But that's not what happened, and you and I both know it

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Monogamy is not a fairy tale. It is hard work. It has it's rewards, it has its downsides. Such as fucking a different girl every night. You have to decide which one do you want. It's not a dishonest way to live if you tell your girl you are attracted to other girls. You basically accept that you are human. Dishonest would be to hide this fact from your partner.

I've had girls offering me sex etc. while in a relationship before. I decided what have I got to loose and what to gain and made a decision to turn them down. It's a choice which you can make if you have some integrity.

Chitown you seem to be against monogamy. This is perfectly fine it's your choice. However saying that it doesn't work is a bit far from reality. I've seen many cases where it worked.

If you really want deep connection with someone then monogamy is the way. If you want independency and having multiple relationships at the same time then polygamy is for you. It's a choice.

Can I ask you hold old you are and have you had many long term relationships ? (more than 1-2 years) That might explain why you think the way you do.

I'm 26.

Some girls are have been in my life for 3 or 4 years.

None monogamously, of course, which I don't do and haven't ever (besides one three-month stint in college).

All of you are deliberately missing what I am saying and what I've written.

LONG-TERM MONOGAMY, as in, MORE THAN ABOUT 3-7 YEARS, fails more than 4 out of 5 times. The system itself is what is broken, not the people who try to do it. Hence, the idea that forever and ever with your one special person is feasible is indeed a fairy tale.

The really ironic part is that, despite what evolutionary psychology says, FAR more men I've spoken to believe in the monogamy fairy tale than women do. Sure, women will act like they believe in it and get married and everything, but for very different reasons than guys do and most of them are still sleeping with other people.

(Over half of married women admit to cheating)

Most women are polyamorous AND act on it, which is entirely in their right. It is guys who seem to get all caught up in the religion of Monogamy, which is why it's so much harder for them when relationships end. Women just go get new dick or keep fucking the other guy(s) they're already sleeping with.

Men beat themselves up for failing to make it work, wondering what they could have done differently, and all that jazz. Women don't really do that, at least not on the same scale that most men do.

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If that's the case, why haven't you already told her you want an open relationship? Don't take this personal, but I don't think you are man enough.. You have poorly handled the situation by being a coward that betrayed her multiple times. I think the reason you don't want to tell her is a different one: You don't want to lose her.

You have made this situation, which started out very simple, very complicated because of your fear of losing her. How else can you explain when she asked you to be monogamous, you agreed to it?

- Because she would've been "hurt" if you didn't? Wrong. You WERE already in an open relationship.
- Because you were planning to be monogamous? No.
It was because you wanted it both, without the risk of her ending it. You were afraid that she walks if you don't agree.

And that's exactly why, in my opinion, you are a coward. No integrity, no responsibility for your actions.
I do think however you can learn from this, so go and tell her you want an open relationship again. That's the best you can do. And because you refer to her as "the special one", you owe it to her.
I have already passed that stage of sleeping around (not saying I will never go back to it). I am currently in a long term relationship and we are living together. Those issues/problems/challenges make the whole thing more exciting and if you have the right partner, won't happen too often to become annoying.

Even tho I don't agree with Chitown Maverick's opinion that monogamous relationships are useless, I do have a lot of respect for him, because he has genuine balls and plays with open cards, doesn't make some false promises to girls who don't deserve it.
So please, if you think you ARE man enough, don't see this as a personal attack and do something to fix your situation. Guys with your attitude are the ones who make good girls become useless for monogamy. She'll find out one day trust me... The world is small

Last thing I have to say on the topic, for now:

Destro, if you plan on getting married, it's even MORE important that you DO NOT LIVE WITH HER FIRST.

It is called the "cohabitation effect:" the very significant correlation between couples who cohabit before marriage and the increased divorce rate for said couples. There is some question as to whether it's simply because the type of person who cohabits is the type who would divorce, but I don't know much about that.

What I DO know is that living together before marriage is directly correlated with its eventual failure.

In my opinion, and as I think I mentioned earlier in this thread, the best possible way to be married is:

1. Open relationship
2. Separate houses

That would avoid so many of the regular, expected problems that it shocks me more people don't do it.

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Talking to other women while you have the woman of your dreams is the wrong idea! I have recently been dumped by my girlfriend due to trust issues whih were caused by me talking to other women while i was with her because I still wanted to be running game but at the same time be with her. I've learnt my lesson and so will you. So in conclusion, if you find the woman of your dreams, fucking stay with her and be completely loyal and honest! It;s the right thing to do and it wont lead to heartache.

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Self respect is far, far more important than a momentary sexual experience

This is bad advice. Being honest is good, but if you want to keep her interested long-term, just loving her and being loyal isn't enough. Girls need a roller coaster of emotions to keep their libidos high. Normal comfortable committed relationships cannot provide this. Be loyal yes, be honest yes, but don't let her call the shots. Lead. Punish bad behaviour and reward good behaviour.

If a woman dumps you for talking to other women, she's a psycho anyway.

I see that Cry Town is still at it.

If you have told this girlfriend of yours that you are going to be monogamous and you are cheating on her, that's fucking bullshit and you shouldn't be doing that.

Now, I'm in a monogamous relationship of 4 years. and it is a great relationship. I love the shit out of my girlfriend. All of the "go out and fuck random girls" feelings though, have turned into "Really make this one girl feel good, sexually, mentally, physically" All the same "I must have lots of sex" feelings are still there, but theres is a lot more depth here and you have to constantly show her that you are a man because the testing never stops.

Just remember, just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you have to exit the game, you are just playing it differently and 1 on 1, versus 1 on the entire population of girls.

What am I crying about, exactly? I've never been cheated on, never had property taken, never been divorced, never had a relationship go sour because of boredom and whatnot.

You guys are mistaking cause for effect. The REASON I haven't experienced those things is because I believe what I do--not the other way around.

So if you're going to call me names, you may want to actually make a point. Further, you may want to make a point I didn't already address.

You've been in a relationship for 4 years. I said that monogamy can work for 3 to 7 years.

Since last time I checked "4" is still between "3" and "7," your effort to discredit me just made you look illiterate.

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She dumped you for not playing into her Betaization attempts. In other words, she has an agenda for a committed slave, and by talking to other women, you showed her you're not the man for that particular job.

WELL FUCKING PLAYED SIR.

Always flirt with other women, never discourage others from flirting with you. If your main girl sees it/hears about it, it'll keep her horny because the competition anxiety is still present. Always be a challenge. Never let yourself be a "kept" man or you'll run into the fate that our new friend MrTroubles007 is going to find himself in within the next three years.

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Well gee whiz MrTroubles, it's so unlike you to tuck tail and run like a coward the moment you're called out.

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For my unfiltered rants on Game and Gender Dynamics, check out "The Mask And Rose:"
http://themaskandrose.wordpress.com