No pics sorry and this is not a troll post.


Backstory:

Gf and I have been together for 1 year and 4 months. She moved in with me last month and it was supposed to be for one month. Anyways she has continued living with me and we have talked about making it permanent.

Because of my childhood (Abuse) I have a very hard time trusting other people. I have struggled to be secure in this relationship because my gf has acted shady with her cell phone in particular and is still in contact with exes.

When I first met gf, she paid using credit card for everything. Now she pays in all cash and constantly has big bills (100s and 50s).

Since she moved in with me, her schedule has changed drastically. She claimed to be a private pilates instructor. I have seen the certifications for this. It started when sHe claimed to have to train people on Friday nights and did not return home until after midnight. Recently she got a job at a corporate gym teaching pilates and she is now home after midnight almost every night.

Initially I thought cheating obviously, but when we would see each other stuff was still good (Sex, affection etc).

Many times, she does not respond to my text for hours (2-3 hours). We don't talk on the phone.



Fast forward:


I have talked to her about how I am unhappy with her schedule, and she says she will change it. I would have accepted this however I kept getting this gut feeling that I couldn't ignore.

My insecurity got the best of me. Yesterday I decided to snoop through her stuff. Since meeting her, her phone has had a lock so I can't access it, otherwise I would have. We share a dresser, but she has the bottom 2. I searched through the back of the bottom drawer and I found a plastic bag which contained a little purse containing a bunch of different size condoms, 2 bottles of lube and vaginal wipes. There was also a piece of lingerie with perfume scent.

I also searched her shelf and found a piece of paper with a bunch of escort agencies on it and their "application" requirements (photos and such).

I also found a receipt from August, where she purchased 3 condoms, and two different kinds of lube. I believe it was the same lube that was in the small purse, but the type of condoms weren't in there.

Today, the bag with the condoms and lube is gone.


What should I do? This isn't a troll thread. Obviously my first thought is dump her, but how can I dump her based on evidence I obtained while snooping? How do I confront her about this?

call her escort agency, and hire her anonymously for a family member of yours or a friend of yours

Just pm me her phone number and I'll figure it out real quick for you.

She's not on one of the escort sites, she just has the information copied down like she was planning on applying.

offer to drop her off at "work" some day since you're going that way anyway.. build from there, questions wise

_________________
If its got tits or wheels, it will give you nothing but trouble

bump

You really shouldn't be doing this. But since it's done, just be casual and keep having sex with her. Isn't that a good thing?

Still waiting on pm.

Well, PM Natty if you want more evidence. In general I am against snooping around and stuff, but I totally understand where there's no trust, things like that happen... In the end I can't argue against it, at least it revealed the situation is as fishy as it smelled...

But do you even need to tell her HOW you know? Pack ALL her stuff, when she comes home you hand her the things and tell her that's it. Let her know you don't trust her anymore and leave it at that. Of course she'll be shocked and might try to get all sorts of info out of you, but don't even bother replying to anything she says.

If that's a bit hard for you to do, I suggest leaving her stuff out the door and insert your key from the inside so she can't access your crib. It should be very easy for you to let her know you 2 are done, if there's a door in between.

The point is, you can and SHOULD ABSOLUTELY leave her hanging, and not tell her how you know she's not trust worthy. It will make her think so freaking hard where she slipped up in hiding it. "How much does he know? Does he only suspect it? Did he find the condoms? Did he follow me? Did my hookup tell him? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

And this my friend is as well the most likely scenario where she'll come clean - because she doesn't know how much you know... If you tell her you found the condoms/lube while cleaning the draws, she will definitely make up a BS story like "it's for my friend she's too shy to buy it over the counter"

If you pull through with that, you are THE MAN in my books!

ok there are some CLEAR red flags here sir. Escort service? R u serious? NEXT. You dont want anything to do with that shit bro... seriously you deserve WAY better... ANYONE DOES.

Late hours... all cash.... like really? clearly this isnt coming from palates...

I would honestly kick her out... and never speak to her ever again. U dont have to explain yourself either. seriously get rid of her and the negativity.

gl
duke

Suspicions confirmed.

Don't ever ignore that gut feeling guys. Also, if you have the gut feeling, snoop. It sounds beta, but I think it's more beta to just trust somebody without verifying things.

Hope you showed her where the door is

what did you do?

Seconded.

I had a friend go thru a similar situation... trust me. BAIL NOW! before the baby(s) come.

As far as snooping this is an indication that its over anyway. If you have to go all FBI its time to go either way. I have twice in my life hacked into a GFs email. I was in ten seconds, confirmed my thoughts on her cheating, and logged out. We broke up and I never spoke to them again. That being said, I feel like less of a man that I had to do this. Yes, nail in the coffin but it should not come to this in a healthy relationship.

_________________
My personal mantra:

"Every woman's a whore in the right situation"
"They're all selling it for something"
"She's sluttier than you think she is"

Looking through your gf's stuff is usually a big no no for me. Because even if they're completely innocent there will usually be something that an insecure mind can misinterpret and it starts a spiral of mistrust that will usually result in the end of the relationship anyway