Long story short, been talking to this girl for about 2 weeks. She also is talking to another guy. Took her out on a couple of dates but things didn't really escalade until last couple of days when we went out for drinks and then went back to her place and made out. Tried to lead it to sex but she told me to wait. After we cuddled for a bit and then hung out the next night to watch a movie. Didn't lead to sex but just cuddled. Told her I liked her but she told me she felt insecure and it takes her a long time to be really into guys because shes been hurt before. We text almost everyday. I don't know how to act now. Should I play games with her? Should I just show her affection now? I know she likes me but I don't know to what degree. She says she always has fun when shes around me. I don't know how to act now.

What setting is this? High school? College? Work?

I’m assuming she’s pretty young if she’s talking about how she’s insecure. It’s kind of a no-win situation for you at this point because A. If you continue to be her cuddle-whore, you will get bored and B. If you force her hand a bit, she may push back and you’ll lose face.

However, you may have to make a decision here one way or the other.

I would try to figure out if she is in fact trying to play it safe, or if this is part of how she makes herself feel non-slutty (ASD) and is basically just a front. Why not try to seduce in a different way this time? Part of her insecurity might be that it always seems like guys are trying to fuck from the ouset. Girls aren’t opposed to fucking, but they are sensitive to pre-meditated actions. Girls love spontanaeity and chance, right? How about taking a different approach this time? She’s willing to make out, so the attraction is definitely there.

Some moves you can do:

Take your shirt off first

This is pretty bold and could go either way. Either you stand there with your Thug Life tat exposed while she backs away…or it breaks down her own insecurity and inspires her to continue.

Talk to her

Communicating is pretty underrated. Sometimes all it takes is, “I know you’re insecure. I know it can be a little scary. But I respect you, and I’ll take care of you.”

I’ve actually used that line before and to be honest, she didn’t take me that night. But after she slept on it and realized she was in good hands, she was very proactive.

Sometimes girls want to be assured. Sometimes “assured” means “he hasn’t fucked any of my friends,” while it could also mean “he’s not trying to just smash and leave.”

Remember, girls love sex as much as men do. They just don’t take the same path us men do: the path of least resistance. They want us to go through a maze (some impossible, some easy) to get what we want. Why? Because it shows effort and makes her feel like you “care.” Do women NEED these traits in a man? No. Does it help kill some insecurity and/or ASD? Absolutely.

Good luck man.

It's in a late college setting. This forum is awesome by the way. But I have taken my shirt off before her when we would lay in bed. But you are right about the communication. That line is really badass but will t make it seem I am needy or I need her more than she needs me ? Do I try to game other girls infront of her or would that totally Porte on why she's insecure.

Also she is going to his basketball game and hanging out with him the day before. It makes me jeleaous for sure but I don't want to show it. She just says she is going to watch her friends play but the other guy she is talking to is on the team. Should I be concerned ?

For the communication part it's good to be slightly distant yet keep her secure.

For example, there's this gorgeous girl I'm talking to who is insecure.
So to balance it out I talk to her yet busy, I keep to myself doing my own thing and be distant. When I'm available I talk to her and keep conversation, listen to her troubles and help her feel better.

The easy part is maintaining, slight distance and still being there for her. You don't want her to feel abandoned like other guys. No more than a day/hours of not talking then being available and elevating her emotionally.

The hard part is realizing you may lose her to the other guy. She's a pretty girl so guys will talk to her and in actuality you have no control over that. On the other hand, she has no control of who you talk to either. If she's worthwhile and you do good, she'll value you way more than other guys and there'll be no reason to be jealous.

In the meantime, just secure your confidence, inner game, and talk to other girls. don't let the fear of losing her, one girl, be your downfall. Eventually just isolate her and try escalating again.

Edit: Also balance being sexual and flirty toward her when interacting with her so she still has sexual desires for you.

Good luck.

Alllllmost friendzoned.

Here's a new move you can use. It's called Moving The Fuck On.

Chick is a waste of time man. Huge risk that she's playing you and fucking this other guy. Try break down that LMR and stop being a pussy or ditch her. Simple as...

Fuck me, so many AFCs, so many stupid thoughts on relationships. It should be a requirement when joining these forums that you tick a box that says "I don't put women on a massive pedestal. They're equal or below me." so you can move on from this stupid shit.

PUA is about pussy, not LTRs or being in the frame of mind that you think you're lucky to have a chick that's into you and you should just "settle" for it. Fuck man, be alpha, you can have anyone else why stick with some chick who's playing you like a fiddle and riding on some other dudes dick?

Next chapter of your life: FRIEND ZONE. Deal with it now. Cut her out or be a fucking man.

With the new info, I'll agree with Games SN. Although I won't agree that all of this is about getting pussy.

If she is playing both sides and you are only playing 1 side, then you are lookin stupid, right?

I am an advocate of finding somebody that connects with you and enriches your life. All of the transitional moments in my life has been helped by a girl that is with me at the time. At times, its the best time of your life.

But there comes a time when your balls need to be picked up, and this seems to be one of those situations. If you know there is another guy involved yet you are still holding out for hope, that's when its time to look in the mirror and say "fuck it."

Regarding the basketball game: of course she's going to see this guy.

Its pretty obvious that she's just basking in the attention she's getting. Cut her off and start going down a different path. If she comes crawling back, you are in a position of power (so don't go back to whipped-mode). If she doesn't, great, you saved yourself the time it took to give a shit.

Good luck!

She's definitely fucking the other dude. he wont cuddle with her. And you will. That's why she's insecure. You're an emotional bandaid is what it sounds like.. move on. Sorry about your luck...

Have you even kiss closed her?

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"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."

"went back to her place and made out"

You were in a dark private place making out and you didnt get the pussy? and this is college?

Few tips,
When you are making out be passionate, touch her all around, then move to her boobs/private area slowly. Once you slip in her private area make her super wet. If she wasnt DTF that day, she will be the next time u see her. Worked 100% for me.


i've try this more than 30 times, get her hot and bothered.

PLAY WITH HER CLIT

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek