For the past 2 months or so I constantly asked myself, what brought me here? What made me come here? Why did I come here? What was the main reason I even came here?

I didn't go out sarging tonight but I had too much work to do.

Slowly the answer came to me not only about why I was brought here but what brings AFCs to PUA forums and forums in general.

Look at your typical guy that was given the "normal" childhood with good parents who pushed him into doing well in school and playing sports. The guy joined the school football team, he wasn't the best player but along with everyone else on the football team he was a jock who received the compliments. As a result, when his team won some games (apply this to any major sport) he ended up getting a lot of validation.

He was told by his bros how good he was, other people in the school told him how cool he was, and some girls wanted to fuck him. The validation turned into compliments and soon he was on top of the world, everyone was telling him how amazing he was, and there he was living the life.

High school was the time of his life for him and he then ended up going off to college. In college he rushed a fraternity had your typical college experience with partying, drinking, and getting laid a lot. Then he graduated.

What do we call that kid? Someone who won't be coming on to a PUA forum asking for advice.

You see, after talking to so many AFCs and such online I have realized the one thing that makes them come to the forums, ask for advice repeatedly, and then become an annoyance to the point where most users dislike them to the point they want them banned.

The AFCs you run into on online forums

1. Didn't have a normal experience growing up (maybe they were homeschooled, maybe they moved around too much)
2. Most likely had parents that weren't normal (maybe they were religious or something)
3. As a result of their lack of social experience they never got validated from society or had someone tell them that they were great or amazing
4. As a result of number 3, they never developed any confidence
5. As a result of 4, they come online to broadcast their problems to the world hoping someone out there would listen

So when people listen the AFCs don't want answers, they want reassurance. They want to hear that everything is going to be okay and the big bad high school jocks are going to pay. The AFCs want feelgood stories and such at first along with bits of actual advice.

As a result of their past pain, they come on to the internet to ease some tension and hopefully find an environment where all of these PUAs and experienced players will relate to their pain and hardships and treat them like a bro. Unfortunately, I have found that respect is earned.

On one hand, we feel frustrated because some of them act like I have acted in the past before. On the other, we have to see that given the right circumstances (actually wrong) any of us in here could have been in that situation.

Now my question is, how do we fix it? What do we tell a guy who has been through that much and lived a life that is looked down upon by society?

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

In my opinion, this community has done enough for that problem (indirectly) and has no obligation to transform that person.

Remember, this is a SOCIETY. A society doesn't change to match the needs of a single person, that single person must change to fit into it.

If he's just sticking around for assurance that he's done just fine but feels no need to change, it's his problem. He's the one who should be changing his actions and perspectives.

They exist in all communities

To be completely honest, I have no single problem in my life. Yes, I lacked confidence at one point in my life, but at 16 years old, I regained everything and was one of the most social/well known guys in my university. I had this problem with a girl that flaked me off once. I had feelings for her. I came here to ask for advice and I started reading tons of posts so I just blended in and started using the forums a lot.

I agree with you about the idea that AFCs only want to hear the good parts of the story and try not to reveal the sad parts. At some point, all people tend to avoid pain and accept pleasure, it's a human phenomenon. People who don't like being faced with the sad truth are just too weak to fight back or realize that they have to do something to solve the issue. They always tend to think that they are doing the right thing so they can end their day sleeping comfortably on their pillow. These guys always want shortcuts to problems, they don't like to work a lot for solutions. They freak out when you tell them that they failed, and are scared to try going for their goals again because of the fear of rejection and failure.

The forums are a good way of solving these AFC's problems, depending on the person giving the advice. I've seen some pretty decent people here who can solve problems in one single post; while others strive to helping these people but realize that they are the ones in need of help in the end. Overall, it depends on the experience the poster has developed over the years and the downfalls he has gone through life.

We show them "weird tricks" and "secret techniques" to get some money out of him of course .

But seriously, the best thing I personally can do is to just let him live his life and not make it any harder than it already is. People want that instant cure for their problems, but it's not going to come from someone in the PUA community. Guys are going to have the experiences they need to learn from living their life, so it's up to them to take those and apply them. It's not an instant cure; it's a process.

What makes an AFC and AFC is attitude. Henry Ford once said "whether you think you can or think you can't, your right." In my experience that is the largest factor of all, because without it everything else is moot. If you have decided you can't do something then you never will, if you think you can you might, if you know you can then you will.

How to fix it? Also easy utilize current forms of positive self worth to spike confidence in transitional activities, build from there a basis for belief that you are someone who achieves what he sets out to do, then set getting women as what you are going to do. Viola! You do it because you know your someone who succeeds at things he goes after. It's really that simple...

Build confidence by challenging yourself in regards to things your already good at and setting "no lose" goals on new or difficult aspects of your life. Can't talk to women? Scared to death? Etc... all the feelings that bring men and boys here. This is how you start, go out in public and compliment 3 females. That is all, walk up give compliment, smile and walk away. Her response doesn't matter, and don't try to have a conversion, just compliment and leave. Once your okay with that you can do more. When your in the very early stages set yourself up to win every time and your confidence will build quickly.

The less confidence you have in something the closer to 100% chance of winning you should go, and the more confidence you have the more you should push yourself into difficult situations with a high chance of failure.