So, Im in grade 12 (18 yrs old) and am a well known guy around my highschool. I try to always be friendly and say hey or something along those lines to anyone I know in the halls in between classes (Needless to say, im talking alot in between classes). Me and my friend group also go to alot of parties almost every weekend and all that kind of stuff

Now to the point: Whenever i'm hanging out with people I'm usually the center of attention, I'm known as a very funny guy but I feel like I never really actually connect with people. I talk to alot of different people but once I'm with someone just having a friendly conversation whether it be a girl or guy, I feel like I'm always talking trying to prevent the conversation from having a silent awkward pause, thus i'm talking alot and end up eventually saying something just plain stupid in an attempt to be funny. For example: i'll be in the school library and i'll go and sit down next to a girl that i talk to at school (not gaming her, just sitting down so neither of us are sitting by ourselves) I'll say something like hey whats up - nothing hbu - nothing. And then ill say something like "Guess what I get to do tonight" "what?" and then something dumb like "i get to do 3 hours of studying.. yaaay, jealous?" (just kidding around).. I've even had a girl that I sometimes drive home because her house is close to mine and we live across town say "you talk alot". I replied with "good idea, chirp the guy who drives ya home.. have fun walking tomorrow" (I was kidding). So what can I do so that I don't feel like I need to run every conversation? I honestly feel like im inconveniencing people by talking to them.

Talk less, work on your grammar more.

Too*

A lot*

Seriously though. Figure out why you have the feeling to talk. Every time you get the urge, stop yourself and ask why? Once you have a reason. (which I figure stems from your desire for attention... which stems from low self-esteem and the need for validation.) You can then start to work on a solution.

Will do.

Ya that sounds about right. I think its because with everything I say I try to get validation through trying to make people laugh. I feel uncomfortable in serious conversations. Going to try and work on adding value to a conversation instead of just agreeing and having a conversation lull.

Any other opinions are well appreciated!

1. don't be egotistical, let the other person talk more especially about themselves. Then relate with something similar in your life. Even better; inquire more about the topic or something you've noticed about them.

2. Let the conversation slump. That dead silence you hear? It's good, take that time to either think of a new topic, or just to test if the other person wants the conversation to continue.

Don't be too keen on revolving around yourself, it displays neediness. if you're not secure enough to know that you have an exciting life that doesn't need approval by praise then you're golden, now make the other person feel good by talking to you.

Also.
I can understand wanting to fill silence, it used to be a big problem of mine. So just practice doing it on purpose so you're not too edgy on doing it, if the other person doesn't initiate (it happens) it's alright. You're goal is not to let it bother you.

Thanks for that ZealousR .. I actually was attempting to do that today at school before I read your comment! It actually worked wonders. One of the guys I sit with instead of being quiet and a douchbag during class he completely turned around and actually started trying to be funny, A majority of time if I add value to a conversation and don't just continue on rambleing, they end up contributing to it as well. If they didnt answer right away, i didnt continue i just went quiet and eventually they filled the silent gap. Then when I do make a funny comment it seems alot better and gets a good laugh.

Going to continue this tomorrow at school and throughout the weekend while at a party. Will see how this improves my game and social skills. And for number 2... Should the topic be related to the one you were just talking about ? Or can it be something random?

Want to have your mind blown? Wait for it, goes don't actually get attracted to funny guys, at least not to the "funny" part of him. Don't get me wrong, being funny is important, it's just not essential.

When a girl says "I like funny guys/guys that make me laugh/etc" what she really means is "I like confident guys that are so confident that I need to laugh to break the tension." I regularly make girls giggle just with eye contact and a cocky smile. They then say "you are so funny!" Actually I'm not, I'm just confident an ride the tension which makes girls giggle and feel good (and get turned on).

Also, as others said, stop trying to be entertaining all the time. You are playing the role of clown/court jester, yes you get attention, but it's not attractive. Don't be the jester, be the king. It's your job as a man to start the conversation and lead it in the direction you want it to go in. It's their job to be interesting.

Remember, it's better to be interested than interesting.

You feel the need to talk and joke because you lack to some small degree self confidence. I used to do the same thing. Laughing, joking, keeping the situation going. Once I became truly confident in myself, it dawned on me that I don't have to keep the conversation going. Even around other guys. Once I adopted the alpha male mentality it became clear that I didn't have to speak to reaffirm my social status. I say what comes naturally in the situation but I don't carry the burden of filling the awkward silence. Let your partner in the conversation bear some of the weight. If you're on date you can keep the conversation going to some degree. But let her talk and LISTEN. Regurgitate to her as needed. You'd be surprised how quickly girls will identify with you. Nothing gets a pussy wett like some good conversation. But if she's looking off and not really talking much -- end the date as soon as possible and move on.

Thanks alot, I tried all this stuff at a couple of the parties i went to last night. It went swell. Got a girls number going to try and do something with her this week, still any other opinions welcome!

Meet more people, summed up the experience, what kind of girl hit in what ways.

You are my exact same copy when I was 17-18 too.

I'm still a guy with decent humor, I always tend to joke around people and make everything serious turn into a funny situation. Yes, people laugh at everything I say and I get a lot of attention. But what I noticed early (around a month ago) is that I cannot handle serious situations with seriousness.

I'm greatly changing now, here's what you have to do, and trust me, they work when you try:

1) Ask questions: when speaking with someone, ask them more about the topic they are talking about. This would enlarge your knowledge circle and get them talking and interested in you at the same time.

2) Listen: Sometimes, the best thing a person needs is to be listened to. Just nod when they are talking and say "I understand". When they finish, start giving your opinion.

3) Eye contact: I assume you know what that means.

4) Don't interrupt with jokes: This is the thing of why I used to joke a lot. Whenever someone is serious, I used to make jokes about everything they said, thinking it would cheer them up. It doesn't.

Good luck

Alright thanks, Its good to know its not just me that was in this situation. Thats good advice! I guess I need to remember that a conversation is between two people, not just entirely about one of them